to think there's a case for complying with a DH's sexual fantasy,even if you're NOT really up for it?

[WashwithCare]

Had lunch with some friends today, and this was the discussion.

20 years ago, I would have said NO WAY - sex should be totally mutual, pleasurable to both etc...

However, now I'm not so sure. My mate's H has hinted he would like to try X. My mate is OMG - NO!

However, she says she is still thinking about it... DH has been her love for 10 years. He has supported her. Never minded having virtually no sex for 2 years after a difficult birth and PND. Told her she was gorgeous and supported her fully every day....

So she is pondering whether he "deserves" X for super good behaviour - and because (we know he is the most faithful H ever) he is not going to get it ever, less she relents!

So I started off saying NO WAY - but as she spoke perhaps think her position isn't that unreasonable... But I am huge and hormonal... so what do I know!

lol
why do men always have these sort of fantasies about women having sex with octopii or swans? Is it a way of handling the fact that not all women might want to sleep with them?

But yes, I remember from my history of art days, if you want erotic, Hokusai's your man.

WWC, I was thinking, yes maybe to your original question, until you said it was about bumsex - the answer is NO. I dont think any person is ever obliged to let someone else do that to them.

Now must do some housework!!!

Must........not.........google........genki genki.............

I wonder how may tender rings there are this morning.....

squid rings?

'this is what happens when you start a bumsex thread without actually specifying that it's about bumsex.'

you wind up with genki! genki!

Dittany, there was a lot of shock expressed about the Japanese thing, but I didn't see that anyone was amused

apart from maybe someguy, but he is weird anyway

"someguy...you are one sick fucker"

that was not a joke

Yes Dittany, but even if that is the case, I'm not sure you can direct other woman how to respond.

Whose to say he wouldn't get his rock off from creating a bit of outrage... you could always report it as unsuitable quietly.

I know women who fantasise about being raped too.

To the Op, it is not wrong to ask your OH to ry something new. It is not wrong to consider that suggestion.
it is not wrong to say, acually, no idont think i want to try that.

yes i think there are times when you give somehing a try more for your OH than yourself.

Anal sex isnt something you can really try without being into it though.
unless you really want to try it and are into it you will just end up in pain and regretting it.

as for the links, i do not wish to see anything like that.
I would like to think that the "molestation" is staged. why exactly i have no idea.

there really are some sick sick folk in the world

Dittany, you brought up the topic of conversation to mussels in a sexual context and subsequently several posters implied that this was utterly absurd. I pointed out that things are not so far from this.

I don't know anything about women being strangled, I read about the genki genki stuff previously, it was mentioned because of the involvement of eels, which have a 'yuck' factor, similar to other things on the internet, many of which have been previously mentioned on this site by other posters. If there is strangulation there, it must be somewhere underneath the icky pictures of sealife, I for one did not investigate that far.

I would expect that people reading this would perhaps revise their apparent belief that there are things people don't have fetishes about. I don't agree with your interpretation at all. A reference to people doing strange things with eels does not have to be anything more (or less) profound than that.

I just showed my DP the genki genki website - he was he wanted to know who suggested it, i said mumsnet - he walked off shaking his heads muttering "bunch of freaks!"

I don't want to be looking at that site again, just wondered what the connection between the strangulation thing is??

I wonder what proportion of the hits on that site are where people have seen it and thought WTF, shown their friends under the guise of "you aint never going to BELIEVE this" which is what i said to DP. Probably most of them.

The blurb on the google search might have told you that, but I found the link somewhere else, where the context was 'weird things with eels' - nobody is going to google 'genki genki' without having heard something about it first anyway.

All that was in my head when I saw that site was 'yuk eels'.

And obviously when there was mirth on here about the idea of mussels, I remembered that and posted about it.

I had no idea about this company (man?) beyond the eels, it was just a 'weird thing' I remembered. I apologise for failing to analyse it further than the visceral reaction to the icky picture.

I'm not sure why you are attacking me re the LPSG, there was a long thread on here (nothing to do with me) about a forum of men into sticking things up their arses, and I posted a link to it as a similar odd community. If people are laughing at aneros-forums (or whatever it was called), then Large Penis Support Group is no less apposite.

Dittany, you do make a good point there about rape fantasy being ok when it is a woman doing the fantasising. But yes, you have to question when its the other way around.

You might find this hard to believe but i actually find strangulation incredibly erotic, both from the fantasy side of things - total vulnerability, very taboo, edgy etc and i find it physically pleasurable. Not to the point where i would pass out, but i do like to be "strangled" to the point where i can feel my lips go tingly - it really does heighten sensation. That does it for me whether or not it is a D/s scenario or not.

My DP doesn't really like that sort of thing, however he has done it for me a few times, both in an "aggressive" sex mode and just for the feelings. Initiated by me and on my terms. It has nothing to do with abuse - in fact, it is exactly the opposite. It is like saying, here, i trust you with my life - hold it in your hands.

Im not probably explaining it very well, but i am not a doormat, my poor DP will support that - i am a VERY assertive person. That is VERY common in people who like to be in sexually submissive positions, male and female.

I don't look at porn, but i have seen BDSM porn and i did find it arousing. I however was a little uncomfortable that there may well be people looking at it from exactly the view point you describe dittany and that is a fine line between it being acceptable and not beingt acceptable.

large penis support group??? L M A O!!!!! the poor dears!

Am questioning how i feel about a man being on here linking to extreme porn? Depends, if some guy comes on here JUST for that? well then i would be questioning whether or not it is an appropriate place for him to be posting. However, if some guy were a member of this site and posts about lots of other stuff - posting filth on a bum sex thread for the yuck value - fair game.