to ask why this woman keeps telling my fiance she is in love with him

[kellze]

She and my fiance had a very brief relationship a few years ago and only slept together once. He is in Australia atm visiting friends and family before birth of our first child and has met up with this woman as a group with mutual friends. She ended up telling him how she still loves him and wants to be with him and would do anything for him etc.

He told her there was no chance and she had missed that boat and that he was very happy with me etc.

I believe there would never be a chance of anything happening between them and trust him totally but I want to know why the hell she thinks it is ok to tell him this stuff.

Do I ask her?

He was able to support himself totally while here I never gave him a penny except when I argued about him paying for everything, which wasn't often.

Even so, he was working for just above minimum wage so even at 60 hours a week wasnt taking home much. Any money he had left here he has used to pay for pram etc for baby.

Hehe. No marriage proposal does not excuse anything, but was really nice.

When we get there and indeed before he will be doing his uni course by distance learning (a bit like OU) so will also be working full time. As will I eventually.

How come you had visa sorted and paid for to Aus, while he did not even have a ticket to return to the uk?
How come he did not do any kind of work, not even to pay his ticket back to you, but has gone and begged money from his parents?

This cant be for real.

He paid for visa as initially was going before baby born. Thats where money went.

How about your 11 year old. Does he have a father who might object to you moving his child out of the country?
Involved gran parents?

I honestly don't think it is as bad as it sounds. We are actually really happy about everything and are fully committed to each other and our family.

You have not answered any questions regards your other child. Does he not figure in the equation?

Why are you all planning on living in Australia can I ask?

It can't be the university course can it? I mean, we have distance learning here, too. You mentioned that you might do an OU course - can't he do that too? What's so special about the course in Queensland that he has to uproot you, your eleven year old and the newborn to go and live there?

If the wedding is later this year will the permanant move be then too?

My 11 yer old has never had any contact with his father or anyone on that side. They just didn't want to know. BUT, that doesn't mean I am grabbing hold of this relationship because of past disasters.

Oh, I just saw that you said that the original plan was for you all to go to Australia before the baby arrives, hence the visa in place.

So what changed? Why are you not going until later?

My 11 year old DS is the most important person in all of this and would never think of moving him if there were any real doubt/problem or worries. He loves DP and has missed him massively and they talk quite often on the phone.

Do you not have any family here in the UK who might miss your son? Your mum and dad, his aunts and uncles?

Obviously you'll have thought about all of this, but it just seems strange for you to be the one giving up everything to go and live with him when he's only 25 and has no dependants.

We decided not to go before baby is born because the time frame was very short and I was getting very stressed organising it all from this end and then worrying about all the work involved clearing house and everything. So in essence I said no. I want to have the baby here with my friends and family around.

We want to live in Aus because of the general quality of life. especially for the children, though of course it is what you make it.

Wait, kellze I'm sorry if I'm being dense here, but you said very early on that:

kellze Fri 22-Jan-10 16:06:42
"He is Australian so would have been going home and met up with her, it is me he is moving to the other side of the world for "

But he's not, is he? You're moving to the other side of the world for him.

I would miss my family a lot, and they would miss my 2 children too.

But also in Australia DP has family who would also miss him and the baby and they have met me and my son. So who is to say who should give up anything?

He is moving here at first. Which even though we decided to move there in the long run, is not something that should be ignored.

He sounds like a really price catch. NOT.

This all sounds like a soap opera.

I used to find that kind of drama fun.

When I was about 16.

I still don't get all these twists and turns.

I mean, taking FB seriously like that when you're 31?!

Sounds like my niece but she's 15.

You two having some growing up to do.

If you ask me, this woman had a lucky escape when he met you and sprogged you up.

Because you are a lot more vulnerable than he is. Does your visa for Australia allow you to work? Have you sussed out childcare fees (pretty similar to London IME). Quality of life can be better (if only for the vitamin D) but it can also be pretty shit in Oz if you don't have the cash. If you are outside of Brisbane the suburbs/towns can be as hard to break into as the villages here in the UK.

Just try to slow things down Kellze.

kellze is standing up well to a hefty interrogation I think!

It is not Kellze who needs to stand up well.

Too true, Morloth.

I am an immigrant to the UK myself, now hold dual nationality, however.

DH and I were solid as rocks and it was tough.

But I've seen some women come over here and things went tits up in months and they were absolutely fucked.

And had brought children from previous relationships with them.