to be appalled at the 'treatment' my daughter received at the hosptal?

[Katecat]

First AIBU but happy to hear all opinions.

DD (2.4) has had a horrible vomiting/diarrhoea bug since Friday. We'd been keeping on top of things by pushing fluids and lots of rest and she seemed ok by Sunday pm just a bit tired so I took her to the childminder on Monday morning as normal (I know but she really seemed better, loves her CM, no other children there and CM was happy to have her). CM called Monday lunchtime to say DD was unwell again,lots of vomiting.

Anyway, eventually got her to see GP around 4pm, by this time she was very pale and lethargic but had stopped vomiting - nothing left to vomit [] and the GP wanted the paeds at the hospital to see her. He rang Children's ward and was told they were really busy, lots of other children with the same bug, and to refer us to the other hospital (about 15 minutes longer drive for us) A&E department. I wasn't happy with this, it isn't a children's A&E and I can't beleive they're allowed to refuse to see a sick child? As DD clearly needed to be seen I decided to try my luck and go straight to the busy Children's ward anyway. On arrival (had to carry DD by this point) I handed my Gp's letter to the Paed who said they had not received a call and wouldn't be able to see us, I had to go to the other hospital. By this point I was very worried about DD and absolutely livid that they refused to see her even though she was clealy unwell and demanded to see the person in charge. Nurse came along and told me no way we could be seen, go to other hospital etc. There was only one other family waiting, how can they claim they're too busy? After 20 minutes of me refusing to move, Dr came back and said she would have a 'quick look' at DD but if she needed admisission there were no spare beds (why could I see 2 beds parked in the coridoor then?!). So, she decided that DD needed intravenous fluids to rehydrate her yet STILL refused to admit us and I was forced to drive my sick child to the further hospital where she was thankfully admitted quickly and got the fluid she needed (the trauma of that is another AIBU itself )and is no on the mend although still on the ward.

Sorry this is long but I am so so angry. Am I right in thinking the hospital were useless and unreasonable and the staff would have been responsible if anything had happened to DD?

I agree with everyone on here. YABU!! I cannot believe you would have put your daughters health at risk like that by "trying your luck". I could never have done that. My DS had a febrile convulsion once and we had to have an ambulance as very high fever, totally floppy etc. If I had to have taken him somewhere myself, there would have been no way I would have taken him somewhere where I was told they wouldn't be able to see him. The risk would not have been worth it.

I think you were arrogant, I never say anything like that to people on here but you took a chance after you were told they had no room. Like everyone said, bed in the corridor did not mean they had room. What would you have done if they said, "ok then, she can go in this bed", and left her in the corridor? It didn't mean there was room for them on the wards.

You were stupid and irresponsible tbh. I hope your daughter is ok though as it isn't nice when they are ill and you were probably panicking, but the poor over stretched NHS staff didn't need this.

noteven

What a silly comment.

Our private consultant saved DDs suffering and diagnosed her immediately. If I had had the pleasure of meeting him at our NHS hospital I would have welcomed it believe me. I trust him much more that someone who diagnosed her with something she didn't actually have

I hope your DD is soon on the mend.

But in answer to your question yes, YABU.

You were told that the ward had no beds and was not accepting new admissions, this only happens in circumstances, where to accept new admissions would be detrimental to the care the staff can provide.

beds in the corridor mean nothing, they could be for patients in theatre, a bed to go back to another ward after a transfer, even a broken bed waiting to be collected by a porter.

How many people were in the waiting room is irrelevant.

The decision to close a ward is not made lightly, and it is to safeguard the care that patients receive.

It appears it was actually quicker to travel the distance to the next hospital that would have took an extra 15 minutes instead of trying to get your child onto a ward that was unable to take her and would have been unable to provide the care she should have received as they were overstretched. Arguing about it was never going to change anything, and just took up time of healthcare professionals who should have been getting on with the job they do, looking after their patients.

This is why the system is in place of a GP or a&e referral.

Also the decision to close the ward is not taken by the nurse in charge or pead, at least not wholly, it is made by managers above, and while they would be involved in the process, you were really arguing with the wrong people. Not that it would have made any difference in the outcome.

It does sound like a stressful situation for you, and done out of concern for your daughter, but these things have to happen sometimes, so that the safety of patients is not compromised.

My son has heart problems, Boo - we've never had any problems being seen at an NHS hospital. If it's a real emergency, you will be prioritised and seen.

The only time I've ever used our private cover (which we all get through DH's work) was when I was being tested for MS. I'm afraid I pushed my principles to one side and went for a quicker appointment. We've never used it for anything else.

Our local private hospital doesn't take children as inpatients. And as a private patient in the local hospital you still wouldn't be able to get a bed on a full ward in an emergency.

I can understand your inital gripe but then I would have just got over it.

I am not sure whether someone else has mentioned it, but those beds could have been reserved for sick children who were perhaps being transferred from another hospital or were en route.

Your child's health is paramount, so 15 minutes extra drive is really not that much to complain about. When my neighbour gave birth to her (very poorly 29 week old twins) she was pushed from pillar to post, a hospital 40 mins drive away, only to be transferred to another one the next day. She, all in all, visited 3 hospitals and doesn't even drive.

Your daughter is on the mend.

I am glad that you get the treatment for your son Paolosgirl. We have had a catalogue of disasters with our local NHS hospital but we have a great GP.

For me it is not just being seen. The most important thing is that DD is seen by a specialist and a Dr that takes into account her history, examines her properly, fully, takes time to talk with us is on call to see us again should things worsen, gives us his/her mobile no. etc.

sea, kicking or not, this was a well-deserved, unanimous response she got

I doubt the NHS staff she abused and put under pressure to force her child to the front of the queue will be thinking sympathetic thoughts about her this evening

anyways...it ain't real so we can untwist our knickers now...

YABU.

Next time, keep your teddy in your pram and steer it to the hospital where they told you to go.

What did you think, that they were making it up that they were so busy?

DS is seen by a NHS cardiac specialist, but on the occasions when he's been seen by another consultant they do exactly as you've described, bar giving out their mobile number - and even then I'd be surprised if you'd be able to summon a private consultant at 4am. However, for 'routine' emergencies it's the NHS every time.

Sorry to hear you've had a catalogue of disasters from your NHS hospital, but private hospitals can misdiagnose as well.

dear me, i have to put up with a regular old a&e cause the closest kids one is an hour 1/2 drive away... and i'd need to get the train at that... and we have had nothing other than excellent care, usually faster than the adults because they try to see the little kids asap.

stress makes you do odd things, but whilst a kids hosp will be kid specialists, the drs in an a&e have been trained to treat children too.

think of that next time, before you go off and make a tit of yourself.

I haven't 'legged it' I've been lurking here for ages, I know what AIBU threads can be like, that's why I asked the question.

I can see now that my normally sane decision making ability was affected by my panic over DD's condition. I was desperate and I let that take over.

I can't believe how many replies this has got already, will try to answer everything:

• No i'm not making it up

• I 'tried my luck' (probably not a good phrase to pick on reflection) because I was worried, the A&E we were directed to doesn't have the best reputation (although actually they were great as were the ward staff) and I just wanted my DD to receive help quickly. Also I honestly didn't believe they'd actually turn us away when they saw how ill she was. That bit still makes me , not at specific staff but just that care can be denied like that. We were lucky, all turned out ok in the end

• Total time spent at the 1st hospital was about 40 minutes

• No, I wasn't rude or shouty at the staff, very assertive yes but not aggressive at all. This despite the attitude of the doctor when she finally came to see DD who I assume was a junior rather than an actual paediatrician (ST3 it said on her badge - not sure what that actually means?) We will have post discharge follow up there so I hope we don't see her again

• I accept that empty beds doesn't mean space, I understand that was a stupid argument and that they may have been very short staffed ( or busy behind the scenes although that didn't appear to be the case from what I saw

• DD is much better now, thanks to those who asked, still on the ward (dp doing night shift) but hopefully looking at discharge tomorrow

I officially accept IWBU. Thanks for all your replies, will have to join in more in future so I can help you all show others the error of their ways

I dont know what answer you expected OP, you were rather silly in my opinion, bu hopefully its a lesson learnt.

I hope your dd has a speedy recovery.

oo er

I think that refusing to leave is an aggressive act

sorry

Yup, sorry honey, but you did the wrong thing. I understand that you were worried and those extra 15 minutes felt like a lifetime, but you were told, and you chose to ignore it, and your actions caused a significant delay in treating your daughter. That's your fault. You chose to disregard the arrangements that were made - for the sake of 15 minutes. - and you spent probably 4 or 5 times that arguing, which got you nowhere.

If they can't take another patient - thy can't. They're not lying to you, and with the best will in the world, going there and yelling at them, with a sick child in your arms, won't put another nurse on the ward right there and then.

I am so sorry that your dd is sick - it's very frightening and logic goes out of the window. but I think on this occasion, you are wrongly putting blame on them for not taking her when they'd already, clearly, told you they couldn't. Nobody was conspiring against you or anything.

I hope your dd makes a speedy recovery.

'Also I honestly didn't believe they'd actually turn us away when they saw how ill she was.'

If they don't have the space to put the patient to treat them then they close to admissions and they can't see them.

Happens all the time.

As has already been pointed out, a "bed" at hospital is not just the thing you lie on. It is the floorspace occupied by the bed/chair/locker/table, its power and oxygen supply, and the staff to care for the person in the bed. Putting a seventh bed into a six-bed bay just compromises the care for all seven.

And as for the two beds in the corridor - I expect this means that two patients in that ward are so immobilised by their condition as to be at serious risk from bedsores, and so their beds had been temporarily swapped for beds with pressure-relieving mattresses.

YABVU.

yes, BALD, it is aggressive and abusive to overworked NHS staff

the police should have been called, IMO

anyway, the OP has had the good grace to come back and say she was BU (even though she continues to try to justify the unjustifiable....)

I am glad your daughter is OK, however

sorry, xpost. glad your daughter is recovering.

TBH, I think if she was seriously ill you would have heard alarm bells going off and staff running from all directions - I know we did when we ran into A and E with a desperately ill DS1 and gibbered panicked nonsense at the first member of staff we saw.

Anyway, good that she's on the mend, and hats off to you for being brave enough to come back on - I'd have been off crying in a corner!

YABU but having been there myself I can understand why you didnt make the best choices.
We got sent home because of a busy hospital (saw our of hours GP who is based at the hospital)with instructions to spoon feed my 4 year old water every 10 minutes to prevent her gettign dehydrated, it was only once we had got her through the worst we were told by our gp she should have been admitted as she had e coli according to the test results (which admittedly the initial doctor wouldnt have known).
This led to next year having repeated problems with urine and kidney infections (I am not sure how these are related by I am told they are) many hospital appointments scans etc etc.

I have to say that I would never have behaved in such a difficult way towards the staff at the hospital during the intital illness- they work with the resources and information they have, at the time they were busy and gave us the best help they could.

I hope she makes a rapid recovery.

I think you should be really grateful that you were offered care at a hospital so close by. They weren't denying you care for your child. Feel lucky that you weren't in America...
You could be denied treatment for a variety of reasons and no amount of assertiveness or showing them a sick child would necessarily change that. Sounds harsh but it's true - not for everyone, but for many more than people realize.