Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be angry at the rejction letter my friend got?

150 replies

KayloHalo · 15/01/2010 10:29

My gay friend, a male, recently enquired about becoming a midwife.

He received a letter back saying (i don't it know word for word) unfortunately we would be unable to accept you onto the midwifery course as we currently only accept ladies.

I'm sure there was more to the letter than that but that was the bit that upset him.

I'm probably biased but I think he would be a great midwife - midhusband? - because he has a great bedisde manner - he's hillarious when you need a boost/cheering up but he's sooo serious about his career.

I just find it so unfair that he's been rejected because of his gender. He almost more female than I am ffs!!

I know there are male midwives out there - where does he go from here?

OP posts:
shonaspurtle · 15/01/2010 10:30

Are they actually allowed to do this? It seems unlikely to me.

lol at "ladies"

ScarlettCrossbones · 15/01/2010 10:31

That's got to be illegal, surely?

addictedtomn · 15/01/2010 10:32

that seems very odd, unless they only take a certain amount of men on per year, as some women only want female midwifes.

could he apply elsewhere?

octopusinabox · 15/01/2010 10:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
KayloHalo · 15/01/2010 10:33

Thats what I thought at first, gonna check with my friend. See where he enquired , he didn't even get as far as applying!!

OP posts:
piprabbit · 15/01/2010 10:35

I think he should contact the Royal College of Midwives for advice on where to go next. I'm sure this is illegal.

Original poster
KayloHalo · 15/01/2010 10:35

thank you all for your replies btw I can't beliwve I forgot to include that!

OP posts:
Triggles · 15/01/2010 10:35

yup, don't think that's legal..discrimination on basis of sex

Glitterknickaz · 15/01/2010 10:39

totally illegal
I know of a gay midwife, he's the ex of one of my close friends. He's a fabulous mw.

Sassybeast · 15/01/2010 10:46

There used to be clauses in the Sex Discrimination Act about men being accepted as midwives but that was changed in 1983 to remove discrimination and inequality.

I know the term positive discrimination is used for some jobs so wonder if there is some obscure reason for their decision. I'm not sure that any NHS trust would be naive enough to reject an application from someone 'just' because they were male unless they had damn good legal back up for their decision to do so?

He should contact the college directly for clarification and if he doesn't get answers, contact the Royal College of Midwives for advice.

PockStot · 15/01/2010 10:47

I thought midwifery was the only occupation where it ISN'T illegal to discriminate based on gender

but I might be wrong

radstar · 15/01/2010 10:48

There are male midwives - The Royal College of Nursing and Midwifery should be able to advise him or NHS careers (they have got a profile of a male midwife and his experience on the web site). Just being a man isn't enough grounds to refuse him. Some jobs can specify the sex of applicants they require and are protected under the sex discrimination act, but I don't think midwifery is one of them.

WhoIsAsking · 15/01/2010 10:48
DorotheaPlenticlew · 15/01/2010 10:51

Yeah, this is daft men can be midwives. I've seen articles about male midwives in mother & baby magazines and references to them in all sorts of contexts elsewhere too it's not that unusual.

Hope your friend follows it up, OP.

canella · 15/01/2010 10:54

why would men not be midwives - there are hundreds of male gynaecologists!!!

Triggles · 15/01/2010 10:58

I honestly can't think of any reason in this day and age why a man can't be a midwife or why they would or could legimately discriminate against one attempting to become one. It certainly can't be the whole "women prefer women midwives" thing, as I don't think many women are that fussed over it. I certainly wouldn't be. I can see where that might have been an issue years ago, but now..?

BigBadMummy · 15/01/2010 10:58

and there are male midwives....

I can see no basis for this refusal and agree that as all other posters have said, it must be illegal.

Follow it up as others have said.

paisleyleaf · 15/01/2010 10:58

So it's not even a job he's gone for but training?
Where do the men go for midwife training then? - We have a few male midwives at our hospital.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 15/01/2010 10:59

A male midwife is still a midwife - the derivation of the word means 'with the wife' - so is the person who is with the woman in labour.

This sounds like gross discrimination to me, and I hope your friend takes it further, OP.

CloudDragon · 15/01/2010 11:07

How stupid, my husband has delivered loads of babies as a paramedic.

But there are jobs where it can be only women. Domestic violence hostels for one are often women only.

LaurieFairyCake · 15/01/2010 11:11

Yes but recruiting is not the same at training. They can't exclude him from training as far as I know.

But when it comes to recruitment there are allowable exceptions like in hostels/women's centres etc.

I can't think of any reason in recruitment concerning midwives either but there may be a women only hospital/birthing centre out there i'm unaware of.

If this is private training then it may be possible to discriminate against him but I would be surprised.

posieparker · 15/01/2010 11:14

I had a male midwife, he was married with children.

ImSoNotTelling · 15/01/2010 11:17

Sounds illegal to me.

He needs to give them a call and ask them why they are only accepting women and query why that is.

Ronaldinhio · 15/01/2010 11:17

Could it be a quota thing?

You know that they take maybe 50/50 men and women and all the male places have already been filled at this time?
Or was it a we only accept women on this course?

skihorse · 15/01/2010 11:18

Good luck for your friend finding a college who will take him. It's an admirable career choice and if no health trust will take him in the future I'm positive he would be a welcome addition to any woman searching for a private midwife.

Swipe left for the next trending thread