to believe you can't steal husbands?

[WashwithCare]

I have been perplexed to read on here that some posters seem to believe you can "steal someone else's husband".

I am sure you can steal a dog or a handbag, maybe even a good idea(!?!)... but spouses, even if belong with each other, certainly do not belong to each other.

Equally, I'm rather confused that once a man has married or other moved onto the ummmm... the "new model", how can the lady in question continue to be termed the OW? Surely, she is now "The Woman"...

Just wondering as people keep referring to the NM culture about this issue, so sorry if it has been debated before.

now, there you have me WWC, I was trying to be scrupulous about engaging with this.

But quite frankly, you do sound spoilt and nasty. He was as good as married to that woman, he should just bloody give her the house if you are both such superhigh earners.and yes, pay her some palimony and support the kids. whats the big deal? You swimming in money, so you say. Instead you equate your dh with a landlord being overkind.

Heartless cow. That's how you come over.

Welcome to MN.

give 'em enough rope......

WWC - every time we've thought 'right, now we'll do it' either a car/washing machine/cooker has needed replacing, family members have died/been very ill/got divorced or some other calamity has befallen us.

The other thing that puts me off is the thought of both our families, together in a confined space with access to booze

And if we went off and did it quietly my mother and his mother would both implode.

Our love is totally reptilian though, so I reckon we'll be ok.

Any room on that broomstick AF...?

< hutches up >

at reptilian love

ooh a harpie cool ...am I harpie?? Been called lots of things on MN but think I like harpie the best

some wine may have been consumed here too

Is there room on the broom for me too AF?

Feel terribly sorry for the PW (previous woman) in this instance. Sounds hellish.

Crikey, x post - it's going to need to be a big old broom...

this is a huuuuge broom

Either washwithcare is making the whole thing up or she's terribly unpleasant and self centred.

Hope you have a decent sized broom AF cause I think you may need a people carrier over here....

I honestly believe you'd need to be pretty self centred to enter OW territory. I'd be a quivering mass of guilt and nerves if it were me.

You'd instantly make so many enemies and incur so much disapproval (particularly if dc's involved) it'd have to be a full on Romeo and Juliet experience to make it worth all the angst. And thinking about it, that didn't end well..

< cobbles two brooms together with string >

If I had ever responded to one of the annoying married men who gave me the "my wife is a nutter../uses me as a sperm doner/hates sex/only loves shopping/doesn't understand me etc. etc. chat up lines, I definitely wouldn't say I could be classed as stealing them. Had I however taken advantage of someone who was wavering over their relationship and, rather than encouraged them to try and fix things, jumped in and said, here I am for an easy ride (in every sense of the word)..maybe yes, I think people could say I'd tried to steal them.

Anyway, more to the point WWC, I haven't read your other thread but your attitude to your dp's step kids that comes out in the way you write about them having rooms in YOUR house stinks. They have lost the person who was Dad to them for 10 years, they need more loving and nurturing than any of the adults involved. What if your relationship was to split up in 10 years and your DP's new woman was resentful to your child pointing out that he was not the biological father?

If we are going to be strictly myth-accurate, I believe the harpies had no need for broomsticks...

< rests case >

'Spot on macdoodle. She does sound superior'

Superior enough to be continually moaning about the ex?

Honestly, I.smell.insecurity, folks.

Puhleeze, if you are that hot and that so above her and such an improvement on her(the ex), would you even so waste your time having to think of her, much less devote so much time and energy to her and her wiles?

Um, not.

wwc you sound fine to me.
Ignore the nasty envious bitches

Thanks - ok I will

Trouble with me is I'm too easily led..

I rather think that both these threads have got alot to do with feelings or lack of them

The more I read, the more I realise, it's all about the love.

OP seems very logical, to the point where if her marriage broke down, well ho hum, she would assume it had been an unhappy marriage and shed no tears. OP is independent of her DH, to the point where she supports herself, and doesn't believe her DH should take much of a fatherly role where her DD is concerned. OP is extremely logical, almost unrealistically so.

Her DH and XP seem to both be displaying feelings. DH seems to feel guilt towards his shoddy treatment of his X, and assuages this with maintenance and providing a roof over XP's head, and the heads of her DC.

XP is clearly hurt, and angry, and whilst I absolutely do not condone her abusing OP at all, I am getting a picture in my head of a very frightened angry woman, who is scared she is going to have the rug pulled from under her. (XP, not OP)
DH seems to sense this and continues to provide for XP and DC.

OP seems unable to truly appreciate how other people feel, and what drives them to behave how they do or do the things they do.

I have a sneaky suspicion that OP in fact feels rather threatened by the XP, doesn't understand why her DH continues to support his XP and her DC when he has no obligation to, may have crossed her mind more than once that her DH will leave her for his XP, and after seeing how fast DH has been able to move on before (matter of weeks) is exercising self preservation in being so logical, since she is worried it may happen to her, and she doesn't want to be hurt. She probably doesn't show her feelings to people easily, but what I find most astonishing of all, is why oh why is the XP still being so abusive 2 years later??? Something is not right!!!

I wonder why OP's DH left his XP?

re the two year thing, isn't there a stat somewhere that says it takes at least two years to recover from a marriage breakdown, probably longer than that if you were the one left?

That maybe so, but I would have thought that after 2 years, the abuse would have all but stopped, especially since the XP is financially dependent on the DH. Why would XP want to bite the hand that feeds her?

Seems to me that OP doesn't understand why her DH continues to support his XP and her DC when XP and her DC are giving OP abuse. Isn't DH supposed to put OP above his XP and her DC?
If they are abusing OP, why would he continue to support them, and what has he done to deter their abusive behaviour?

I think OP resents XP, and her DC, and that comes across loud and clear in both threads. The question is why does her DH continue to support a woman who is making his DW's life unbearable?
That is a question OP probably ponders alot.

'wwc you sound fine to me.
Ignore the nasty envious bitches '

Oh, yes, I am so envious of someone who went with a man who had a psycho partner for donks and her kids when I married a blond-haired, blue-eyed, sinewy 24-year-old 7 years my senior who's the best lover I ever had with an 8-inch cock that can go all night and who thinks the sun shines out of my ass.