Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think if I can't get home from work then I can't go.

155 replies

whatisreasonable · 09/01/2010 16:32

I work at night in a residential home and am due at work tomorrow night. I've called in to advise I may not be able to get there and back and to find out what the procedure is.

I've been advised I will be expected to go above and beyond what I would normally do to get there.

I live in a very rural and isolated location and we don't have a 4wd so the road is undrivable for normal cars outside our house to the main road. (A distance of about 2 miles). We did try and get out today and had to be towed home by a friendly landrover.

I can get a lift in from a friend in 4wd but the only way to get home is to walk 3 miles at 6.30am in the morning.

I'm not really happy doing this. No decisions have been made yet as I need to call tomorrow lunchtime and advise what's happening when we've looked at the road.

What do you think? (I've name changed as I know people from work sometimes look at this site)

OP posts:
Heqet · 09/01/2010 16:34

can you ask them what they would do to help you if you got stuck at work?

saadia · 09/01/2010 16:35

I think YANBU - they are expecting too much. Any chance of taking it out of your annual leave or offering to make up the time at a later date?

Original poster
whatisreasonable · 09/01/2010 16:36

I asked if they had a policy where some members of staff give people a lift home if had 4wd ( as know some council offices have been doing this locally), they advised it could only be the people that I had been working with that could do that. I've looked and no one on tomorrow has 4wd.

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 09/01/2010 16:37

Does no-one else who works there live in your village? Will any farmers with tractors be up and able to give you a lift? 3 miles is not far. Or cold you swap the shift with someone who lives in the village/town where the home is?

It's not as if it's an office job, you work in an essential service so you should try your absolute hardest to get there.

My mum works in a nursing home and ended up doing a double shift because someone couldn't get in a couple of days ago. Even if you can't do it someone has to.

Northernlurker · 09/01/2010 16:37

Why on earth can't you walk the three miles home? That's a short enough distnace and if you have a good coat, boots etc there's no reason why it wouldn't be safe. Please tell me it's not because it will be dark! The people you work with need you to do your job. Unless your life is at risk - and it doesn't sound like it, you should go.

Original poster
whatisreasonable · 09/01/2010 16:37

I'm also due at work on Monday evening so am expecting to have to take that out of my annual leave / lieu days if have to walk home on Monday morning as am not walking home on Tuesday. All this is on top of normal chilcare etc

OP posts:
DoingTheBestICan · 09/01/2010 16:38

A lady came into my work yesterday & told me she works in a residential home & had got stuck in the bad weather.

She did her night shift & when she couldnt get home she had to sleep there.

Could your work pay for a taxi for you to get home?

Vallhala · 09/01/2010 16:39

Given the draconian attitude of your employers, if I were you I think I'd suddenly develop a particularly nasty tummy bug by tomorrow night.

YANBU and your employers are asking too much.

junglist1 · 09/01/2010 16:41

If they are telling you to go in they have to do something to help you get home. If you lived in near the main road it might be different

Original poster
whatisreasonable · 09/01/2010 16:41

The thing is I will have to get home as will have to take the children to school / or look after the children if not at school as DH as managed to work at home all last week due to the weather but really needs to be in on Monday

OP posts:
gingernutlover · 09/01/2010 16:42

i would walk 3 miles to be honest. If you are concerned about it being dark then go when it is light.

Get the lift in with the friend who has a 4wd and then walk home in the morning once it has got light, I'm sure they will give you a nice warm breakfast to get you going.

My mum walked 2.5 miles to see me and dd today, it took her 35 mins so really it isn't totally unreasonable of them to expect you to get in.

Are you unwell or not physically fit?

Heqet · 09/01/2010 16:42

so what did they say they could offer if you got stuck?

Stay there? or would they just turf you out and let it be your own problem?

tbh, I think 3 miles through snow in freezing temperatures is going to be very tough on you.

Having said that, people do it and have done it for many years. People always used to do it in years gone by (and harsher winters!)

I suppose you could just say to them "Are you telling me that it is your instruction that I walk 3 miles home in sub-zero temperatures? I just want to be clear that this is my formal instruction from you."

That way you might put the willies up them enough for them to give you the day off.

Vallhala · 09/01/2010 16:42

FWIW I used to live in a very rural area such as that described by the OP and can promise you that theres one hell of a difference between walking 3 miles at 6.30am in an area such as that and in doing the same distance through a city/town/village.

lindy100 · 09/01/2010 16:42

*Northernlurker - 3 miles in these conditions could well take nearly two hours - after a waking night?

I do think OP should see what can be arranged, but you are being pretty harsh, I think.

Essential jobs always seem to carry lower salaries, but more of a moral burden.

gingernutlover · 09/01/2010 16:43

ah okay,m if it makes the child care totally impossible then maybe that is different.

How is your husband getting to work though I wonder?

compo · 09/01/2010 16:44

I think yabu
if you don't go in presumably another member of staff has to stay?
I would sleep over
as someone else said it's an essential job you do

TrillianAstra · 09/01/2010 16:45

How is your DH going to get to work if the road is undriveable for normal cars? If he can get to work surely you can get to/from your work.

borderslass · 09/01/2010 16:45

my dd works at the hospital and they have basically turned 2 empty wards into dormitory's. she's staying at her boyfriends because its walking distance they now have farmers ferrying staff in who cant get in and she managed to get a lift by one of them to come and get some clothes, all she's had is 2 pairs of leggings and a couple of t-shirts for the last week.dh is a taxi driver and has only got out yesterday for the first time since Sunday. can they not get in touch with local farmers and ask for help for people like yourself.

MadameCastafiore · 09/01/2010 16:45

I would say that I cannot make it in but be prepared not to be paid for it.

DH has had to stay in London on more than one occasion during this snow as he didn't think he could get in the next day and he is apparently indispensible!

All with me recovering from a burst ovarian cyst!

I hate him the tosser - has gone to watch Arsenal only manage a paltry draw with Everton today too - Cock!!!

compo · 09/01/2010 16:48

I guess if you can't get in they have to draft in a casual care worker and pay them so you wouldn't get paid?

Original poster
whatisreasonable · 09/01/2010 16:58

Trillian / Ginger - DH is getting a lift from someone who is going to drop him at nearest large railway station about 10 miles away. This is from a 4wd friend.

Walking would probably be about an hour / hour and a half bearing in mind the route and hills.
We are very rural rather than being at all urban.No pavements etc and def no gritting on road concerned.
I really do have 4wd envy at the moment.

On a normal morning we would cross over as I come in he will leave unless he is working from home.

Compo - there will be people locally who are able to work. I called today to give them as much notice as possible but they don't want to hear definatley until tomorrow.

OP posts:
Original poster
whatisreasonable · 09/01/2010 17:00

Heqet - they offered for me to stay there until the afternoon shift and work that as additional pay or go home.

OP posts:
RumourOfAHurricane · 09/01/2010 17:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

gingernutlover · 09/01/2010 17:18

it sounds like you are exploring all avenues to be honest

cheeset · 09/01/2010 17:25

Northernlurker-I wouldn't walk 3 bloody miles in the dark especially in snowy conditions and in a rural area, are you mad?!