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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think if I can't get home from work then I can't go.

155 replies

whatisreasonable · 09/01/2010 16:32

I work at night in a residential home and am due at work tomorrow night. I've called in to advise I may not be able to get there and back and to find out what the procedure is.

I've been advised I will be expected to go above and beyond what I would normally do to get there.

I live in a very rural and isolated location and we don't have a 4wd so the road is undrivable for normal cars outside our house to the main road. (A distance of about 2 miles). We did try and get out today and had to be towed home by a friendly landrover.

I can get a lift in from a friend in 4wd but the only way to get home is to walk 3 miles at 6.30am in the morning.

I'm not really happy doing this. No decisions have been made yet as I need to call tomorrow lunchtime and advise what's happening when we've looked at the road.

What do you think? (I've name changed as I know people from work sometimes look at this site)

OP posts:
AnnieLobeseder · 09/01/2010 18:47

I ran 3 miles in rural snow and ice today. For fun. Sorry, I really can't see what the big deal about walking 3 miles is, even after being up all night.

cat64 · 09/01/2010 18:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

AnnieLobeseder · 09/01/2010 19:36

At risk of sounding smug, can I also add that I was prepared to walk 5 miles to work last Wed when no-one else could get in, because I live the closest. Luckily it was clear enough to drive. And I've also forked out for childminders twice over this snowy period when schools have been closed.

My job is ranked as 'essential' in the civil service, I see it as my obligation to get to work unless I genuinely am physically unable to do so, not just because I might find it a bit inconvenient. My problems with getting to work or childcare are exactly that... my problems, not my employer's.

NightShoe · 09/01/2010 20:11

YANBU. I work nights as a charge nurse on a very busy ward and I would struggle to walk home safely in these conditions. When those of you who are saying it would be simple to walk home after a night have actually worked a night caring for people and understand the physical and mental tiredness that brings then you are in a better place to judge.

Yes, vulnerable people do depend on us and as carers we have a responsibility to look after ourselves in order to look after others properly. The OP also has a much bigger obligation to her own children who need caring for. Yes, every reasonable effort should be made to get to work, but employers also have to be reasonable about the impact of this weather about people's family lives too, or does it only work one way?

There are plenty of smug sounding people on here preening themselves about their presenteeism, bully for you. Well done for putting your work first. If you walk onto all these NHS wards/care homes where people are sleeping over or hauling themselves to work in treacherous conditions in the snow/ice at night, then I can bet you that the managers won't be there rolling their sleeves up to help out. Yes, nurses/carers are essential, but not superhuman.

RumourOfAHurricane · 09/01/2010 20:15

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pointydig · 09/01/2010 20:24

could a taxi get you there and back? If so, ask your employer to cover the taxi cost.

Missus84 · 09/01/2010 20:30

I wouldn't walk 3 miles on unlit, icy roads with no pavements in the dark Unreasonable of your job to expect you to.

Missus84 · 09/01/2010 20:32

In fact, if I was driving along an icy rural road at 6.30am and saw someone walking along the road I'd think they were an idiot.

Original poster
whatisreasonable · 09/01/2010 20:37

Will call about taxi's tomorrow.

As nightshoe has very succinctly pointed out my work is very physically demanding ( and emotionally draining ), yes, I am quite fit but the thought of doing that after a 12 hour night shift is quite a different story. Especially with the possible need to look after 3 bouncy dc under 6 the next day.

There aren't any childminders locally, absoloutley none in the nearest village. GP's are refusing to come over due to location.

But, not turning up to work like calling in sick (unless absoloutley necessary) is just not me, hence the thread, I wanted other peoples opinions.

Luckily my boss will be in tomorrow morning so I can call and speak to her.

OP posts:
kinnies · 09/01/2010 20:52

My dh would no way let me walk 3 miles in the dark, in snow, ice and whatever and tbh although hes a big butch bulider type, I would tell him not to go if he wanted to.
Not being a wuss at all just have a healthy respect for the extreme weather we are not used to.

winterwalks · 09/01/2010 20:57

hi Annie
Wonder what it is in the civil service that is emotionally and physically draining as working a night shift in an old people's home - then walking 3 miles in cold and dark in the country- then minding 3 children.

compo · 09/01/2010 21:00

I agree walking home is not an option
good luck with your boss tomorrow

cheeset · 09/01/2010 21:01

NightShoe hear hear!

BuckBuckMcFate · 09/01/2010 21:18

YADNBU

I agree with everyone re waking night , then a walk home - crazy!

Hope your boss sees it this way tomorrow

(My manager was an arse with me when I couldn't get to work on Wednesday. He wanted me to walk 6 miles to get in, work for 3 hrs and then walk 6 miles home at 8pm in subzero temperatures! I'm back in tomorrow and expecting some sort of warning over it. I'm really narked as I've changed my hours and job role to suit them (more work, no pay increase) and don't think I should be made to feel so bad over genuinely not being able to get to work - so I really really sympathize with you!)

gaelicsheep · 09/01/2010 21:25

NorthernLurker - in the dark, on an unlit and snowy road with no pavements, in way sub zero temperatures probably? That is dangerous and would be stupid. I wouldn't do it - no way. Someone on another thread was suggesting 5 miles each way was reasonable. These people must be townies with no clue what life is like out here.

It's one thing if it's life and death for you or your animals, like in the past. Quite another to do it for the benefit of your employer.

LeightonCourtDiscoQueen · 09/01/2010 21:30

NorthernLurker, I wish you were the HT at DC's school

BadGardener · 09/01/2010 21:37

I know people who are keen winter hillwalkers and would happily walk 3 miles in the dark in these conditions but they would never, ever do it ON THEIR OWN.
That's the difference IME, and the reason why this would not be a good idea.
If you absolutely had to do it, I would only do it if there is mobile reception throughout - otherwise you are talking about something potentially very dangerous.

Original poster
whatisreasonable · 09/01/2010 21:37

Thanks for the support

Off to clear playgrounds and paths at dc's school tommorrow morning. The headteacher has emailed to say she doesn't want to walk along the road with her shovel!!!

Have no qualms walking mile to school with shovels and sledges during the day after good nights sleep!

Bloody hope school open on Monday, have feeling wont be despite most teachers living locally.

OP posts:
FloSnake · 09/01/2010 21:37

You should ask your employer to get you a taxi home. It's not safe to walk home in snow and ice, tired, in the dark and if they don't realise that they are being very insensitive.
Could you find out how much a taxi wouldd cost? If it's not much (compared to a day's pay), then if they refuse to pay you shouldd do it anyway as it's better than losing aday's pay.
If they refuse to pay for the taxi then you have to say it's leaving you out of pocket and you can't actually afford TO work.
I'm sure they would rather have you in than agency staff - they should be willing to pay for a taxi - you've shown you are wlling to work, they should do their bit too.
Your worries are entirely reasonable. I work in an office in a town in the daytime 40 mins walk away and even I worry about getting home in the snow!

Harriedandflustered · 09/01/2010 21:40

There seem to be a lot of different issues getting muddled up here:

  1. Whether or not the OP is fit and able enough to walk a distance of 3 miles in snow. A normal level of fitness would mean this was perfectly doable, but I don't know if the OP has any illnesses or other issues that would make this a herculean task.
  1. Whether there are alternative arrangements such as taxis, friendly landrover drivers etc, and whether they could take the OP part or all of the way to or from work
  1. The fact that the walk comes after a waking night. This seems slightly specious as an argument to me. If you work nights, then isn't the deal that you sleep in the day? So presumably, for someone who works in the daytime, this is equivalent to walking home after work.
  1. The childcare issue the following day. The OP has mentioned that the DCs were at school. If they are not at school because of weather conditions, then presumably there are back up arrangements to cover things like illness etc. If there are no available back up arrangements, then she needs to stay at home to care for the DCs. My employer recognises this issue - and would be sympathetic - but it is treated as unpaid leave.
rainbowinthesky · 09/01/2010 21:45

Poor you. What a difficult situation to be in.

gaelicsheep · 09/01/2010 21:46

Fitness doesn't really come into it though in the conditions we're talking about, does it? Isn't plain good sense the main factor in the decision? As I said, nothing would make me do that walk on my own, especially as there is no mobile reception in this area.

In this age of the mobile phone people are becoming so complacent about the weather conditions and are losing the sense they were (supposedly) born with. Just ask the mountain rescue crews.

bosch · 09/01/2010 21:49

I would add further issue

op is 'planning' to walk in the future - that is, when weather conditions may be a little 'inclement'.

Am guessing that the serial hikers/joggers on here were not out in blizzard or night time/seriously sub-zero temperatures.

OP needs to bear in mind what conditions are likely to be at 6.30 in the morning and not be swayed by people who are willing to travel vast distances in broad daylight to sit at a desk...

(sorry, I sit at a desk and my job not so 'essential' as OP's but I still think she is nbu to consider not going to work)

Original poster
whatisreasonable · 09/01/2010 21:52
  1. Whether or not the OP is fit and able enough to walk a distance of 3 miles in snow. A normal level of fitness would mean this was perfectly doable, but I don't know if the OP has any illnesses or other issues that would make this a herculean task. - Am perfectly fit perfectly able to walk this.
  1. Whether there are alternative arrangements such as taxis, friendly landrover drivers etc, and whether they could take the OP part or all of the way to or from work

Will investigate taxi's tomorrow morning, when have looked at the road / spoken to work.

  1. The fact that the walk comes after a waking night. This seems slightly specious as an argument to me. If you work nights, then isn't the deal that you sleep in the day? So presumably, for someone who works in the daytime, this is equivalent to walking home after work. I work nights in addition to normal stuff with DC. If termtime, I take kids to school / nursery then sleep until lunchtime when I do the nursery run is tiring but manageable. However if school not on it does affect what childcare I have available. As I've said no childminder locally could find playdates for dc but prob not for all at such short notice. Have clingy 2 year old who will not go to anyone other than GP's or nursery. However as said earlier gp's won't come over due to ice.

. The childcare issue the following day. The OP has mentioned that the DCs were at school. If they are not at school because of weather conditions, then presumably there are back up arrangements to cover things like illness etc. If there are no available back up arrangements, then she needs to stay at home to care for the DCs. My employer recognises this issue - and would be sympathetic - but it is treated as unpaid leave. - I'm aware that if I don't work tomorrow night will either be holiday or unpaid leave. My back up plans are normally gp's or Dh, both of whom cannot be here monday.

OP posts:
Original poster
whatisreasonable · 09/01/2010 21:54

And have spoken to 'friendly landrover drivers' they are already happy to take me into work tomorrow evening and taking DH to station on Monday morning.

OP posts:
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