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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think if I can't get home from work then I can't go.

155 replies

whatisreasonable · 09/01/2010 16:32

I work at night in a residential home and am due at work tomorrow night. I've called in to advise I may not be able to get there and back and to find out what the procedure is.

I've been advised I will be expected to go above and beyond what I would normally do to get there.

I live in a very rural and isolated location and we don't have a 4wd so the road is undrivable for normal cars outside our house to the main road. (A distance of about 2 miles). We did try and get out today and had to be towed home by a friendly landrover.

I can get a lift in from a friend in 4wd but the only way to get home is to walk 3 miles at 6.30am in the morning.

I'm not really happy doing this. No decisions have been made yet as I need to call tomorrow lunchtime and advise what's happening when we've looked at the road.

What do you think? (I've name changed as I know people from work sometimes look at this site)

OP posts:
RumourOfAHurricane · 09/01/2010 23:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

hatwoman · 09/01/2010 23:40

I agree gs - where the job is important, like this one, then I think there's an extra responsibility on the employer to do everything they can to ensure safety. I think, in this case, op shouldn;t be pressured to undertake this walk if they're not happy with it. if op agreed then as an absolute minimum the employer should pay for a taxi to the nearest point and then phone to ensure she's home safely. I think. though I'm slightly in 2 minds.

ImSoNotTelling · 09/01/2010 23:41

You are all like my old boss aren't you. Who demanded I go into work when the roads hadn't been gritted, there were no buses or tubes, it was snowing heavily, and I was 5 months pregnant and I am not good on my feet. Work was 15 miles away. And I could work from home...

hatwoman · 09/01/2010 23:42

no. not taking the piss. am training for a 22 mile run with 4000 feet of climb, unmarked, across wild moorland, in March.

ImSoNotTelling · 09/01/2010 23:43

Yes I still harbour that particular grudge

gaelicsheep · 09/01/2010 23:45

ISNT - I hope you told them to shove it up their proverbial!

hatwoman · 09/01/2010 23:47

and it's not sensible. I haven't looked into hypothermia (I guess I should) but I don't think you;ve got long if you sprain an ankle in these sorts of temperatures. I had a GPS gadget with me and was reasonably sure that I would have a mobile siginal wherever I was on Monday. so I reckoned mountain rescue coiuld get to me pretty quickly. I also had a ski jacket with me. and a labrador.

if op is in a rural area, and if mobile signakl isn;t realiable then it's possibly quite daft.

Northernlurker · 09/01/2010 23:49

The op has referred to a two mile stretch of road from her home to a main road. There are other houses nearbyish - she mentions travelling to school in the same area and a village. If there are any yeti or mountain passes to negotiate she didn't mention them. In fact I don't think she mentions danger at all - just that she's 'not happy' doing it.

ImSoNotTelling · 09/01/2010 23:49

Yes I looked out of the window at the snow and simply refused

She was right fucked off with me

hatwoman · 09/01/2010 23:51

I was assuming 2 miles of country lane without houses. must haave missed somethung. anyway off to bed now.

gaelicsheep · 09/01/2010 23:52

Blimey NL - I'm glad you're not my boss. Sparks would fly!

Maize · 09/01/2010 23:54

Harriedandflustered I wanted to answer this point.

  1. The fact that the walk comes after a waking night. This seems slightly specious as an argument to me. If you work nights, then isn't the deal that you sleep in the day? So presumably, for someone who works in the daytime, this is equivalent to walking home after work.

Nights absolutely knock you out, even if you sleep during the day before you start, which for most either doesn't happen or ends up being a short nap so you are still pretty sleep deprived by the time you finish at 7am. Your body is also not built to work nights, it goes against your natural internal clock and so you feel the tiredness far far more. There is a lot of evidence about night working being harmful to your health because of this. It is not the equivalent of walking home after a long day not at all, not even after a proper long day.

YANBU!

Earthymama · 09/01/2010 23:56

I would be worried about drivers passing me in those conditions. I was so nervous when I was out with a little one on Friday; a car started up and was coming out of a carpark, skidding into the main road while talking on his mobile, he just missed another vehicle. We live in a semi-rural community and the roads are not really safe.
I really thought we would be squashed and keep feeling panicky.
OP is not a superfit athlete who can tackle all conditions, she's a woman who, I am sure, is committed to her job but does not want to risk herself in these adverse conditions.
(apologies if you too are planning an Artic trek, OP)

daisy5678 · 10/01/2010 00:09

YADDDDDNBU!

edam · 10/01/2010 00:12

I think it would be very daft indeed to do this. You'd be on your own, it'd be dark, and cold enough to be very dangerous indeed if you did have any problems.

In my mother's neck of the woods, a perfectly fit and healthy young man died during the snows last year. IIRC his car got stuck and he got out to walk. In daylight, in normal temperatures, you'd scoff at the idea that walking anywhere near her village was dangerous. Completely different matter when it's below freezing, dark and lonely.

edam · 10/01/2010 00:14

(Oh, and Maize is dead right about the differences between night shifts and working during the day. Not the same level of tiredness at all.)

Harriedandflustered · 10/01/2010 00:48

Interesting about night working. It doesn't sound like the OP has to do a lot of it, thankfully.

AnnieLobeseder · 10/01/2010 10:25

cheeset - I do appreciate that people have differnt capabilities. But some people definitely are taking the piss. I work with a guy who lives closer to work than me, the roads were easily negotiable when I drove in on Wed, but he said he couldn't get in because his car was in the garage and he didn't think he could get it out. He hadn't even tried.

AnnieLobeseder · 10/01/2010 10:27

I'm not worthy!

TheOldestCat · 10/01/2010 10:43

YANBU.

DH had to hike over ten miles home at night in a rural area when the train broke down the other night (on a main A -road luckily so he at least had the benefit of pavements).

I was on tenterhooks until he got home, worrying that a car could come off the road and hit him.

I didn't go to work (a 50-mile commute) last week mainly because I'm heavily pregnant, was worried about the train service getting me home and concerned I'd slip on the mere half-mile trek to the station. But my boss was very understanding (helps that I could work from home); hope yours is too.

TheOldestCat · 10/01/2010 10:45

Also, agree that your employer should be helping you to get home - can they arrange a taxi? Especially since you're a night worker; have done that and posters are right - it's a completely different level of knackeredness.

Harriedandflustered · 10/01/2010 11:10

ROFL at Shiney

How many miles did you manage this morning? I introduced the topic of a 3m walk to the DCs and they looked at me as though I was crazed before slouching off to the Wii.

We are all getting too, too SOFT. Hatwoman, can I swap children with you for a week?

Original poster
whatisreasonable · 10/01/2010 13:08

Well, DH managed to drive to the work on a 'dummy run' this morning. And it is starting to thaw slightly. So, am still going to get lift from friend in 4wd and husband is going to collect me. So I am going in and NO walking necessary.

OP posts:
Original poster
whatisreasonable · 10/01/2010 13:18

THank you for all your help and advice.

OP posts:
Fruitysunshine · 10/01/2010 13:53

I wonder how many people would still be sticking to their opinions if (god forbid) you were seriously hurt on your walk home due to the weather conditions?

Seems to me that common sense takes a fly out the window in favour of people trying to appear as "right".