To think that invited guest at a cancelled wedding should NOT ask for their money back

[toolly]

My poor sister has just cancelled her wedding which was due to take place in a European country in June. Two of the couples have asked that she refund their deposits or airfares. Am I not justified in thinking that these so called friends are insensitive, money grabbing unmentionables? I don't want to further my sister's woes but I am seething on her behalf. Am I justified to think that she should just say fuck off to these people and

At the end of the day the guests have a choice to attend, there are numerous reasons why a wedding might be called off - sickness, parent ill/death so it's a risk a guest takes.
I think it's really insensitive to ask for the fares back.

Travel insurance would cover this.

YNBU. The friends asking for money back are behaving terribly.

They arranged travel separately. Its money they expected not to get back. They could just have a holiday. Give them nowt not one penny. Very insensitive.

Had this happen two years ago. Someone close called off the wedding about 2 weeks before. Accommodation paid for 5 family members, outfits fit for wedding bought by all, present was personalised so no chance of returning and two return rail fairs paid for (the rest of us were coming by car). We were heavily out of pocket as a family.
Found out bride had ‘met someone else’ and family kept it hush hush to the last minute, hoping for a change of mind!
As an evening wedding, I cannot think of any use for my wedding outfit. The personalised gift is useless to anybody.
I’m sure we weren’t the only ones financially stuffed by this - some guests were coming from overseas!
Has made me very wary of future wedding invites.
Hard to take watching said ‘bride not to be’ walking around with the other guy as if nobody was affected by the last minute decision to tell people.
Of course nobody expects people to go through will ill fated marriages - but I do wish some brides and grooms to be would remember lots of people are involved with their planning and decisions.

THIS IS A ZOMBIE THREAD PEOPLE.

THIS HAPPENED 9 YEARS AGO

I'd just cancel the flight/try to get a refund/change date of trip to when it suits. I wouldn't ask her for the money back directly.

Luckily realised this was a zombie as checked the date after seeing the name bibbitybobbityhat - not seen that name for years lol

These couples sound ridiculous. Your sister is not obliged to give them money, legally or morally. It’s an unfortunate situation, but these things happen. It’s not like she cancelled the wedding to choose a different venue.

Technically these people have not even lost money. They can still travel to the destination for a holiday. No one has taken the hotel away or cancelled their flights. If they choose not to go, then they will loose money.

As the wedding is off, regardless of whether or not they go on the holiday, they have actually saved money as there is no more outlay for gifts, outfits etc!

On no!!!! 🧟‍♀️

To ask your sister for the refund..wow...talk about insensitive!

They should have had travel insurance tbh,as much as I can understand they'd want the money back they've gone about it the worst way so they should be taking it up with whomever they booked it with.

If they can't get it back perhaps they should just go on holiday there instead anyways.

Zombie thread ..oops ..didnt see that!

Zombie thread..
But I would be finished paying them by now tight gits would be given a pound a month.

I wonder what OPs sister did about this in the end and what she has been doing for the last 9 years.

Also, why does anyone think travel insurance would have coughed up for this?

OP come back and let us know how your sister is!

Your poor sister. I've been there and at the time it felt like my pain was public property. I was in pieces and the last thing I would have needed was any more shit. My parents and my sister just stepped in, took over and took care of me. She's lucky you've got her back. Sending huge hugs and a promise that it will get better. Xxx

Ah, zombie thread. Serves me right for not reading every post. Sorry!

I think they are within their "rights" to ask for their out of pocket expenses to be recovered, but it's a crappy thing to do to someone who is probably embarrassed and grieving, and who you are supposed to be friends with. I would take the mini-break without the wedding if I couldn't get a reasonable refund from the airline.

I'm assuming your sister feels it's up to her to pay them back because she is the one who did the jilting? I applaud her courage, if that's the case. I think I would have just gone ahead with the wedding on the basis that a quiet divorce afterwards would be less hassle than cancelling the wedding! Especially no we have no-fault divorce...

Would say friends aren't really friends. Why can't they still use the airfares. Had they booked accommodation- they could still have a short break.

They’re dicks. And they’re not “losing” the money. They made the choice to attend and obviously had the money to do so. It’s not compulsory to attend any wedding you’re invited to. They should have considered cancellation before booking and if they couldn’t afford it, they knew what their options were. They’ve lost nothing - they can still travel and enjoy the trip unless they hadn’t budgeted for the day they were being fed by the bride and groom 😂.

They seem heartless.

Your sister and her fiancé made a brave decision and shouldn’t be punished for it. If the wedding had gone ahead but not ladted the honeymoon would the “friends” have done the same?

I really don't understand why they don't go anyway. They paid and booked the tickets themselves. Guessing had time off arranged. It is really odd behaviour to ask the money back. And very mean given the situation

My sister wad going to overseas wedding that got cancelled less than a month before due. She was insured but insurers would not pay out as not medical or death. She went and had holiday as would have lost 80% as late notice, even though not a country she would have picked for herself.