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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that invited guest at a cancelled wedding should NOT ask for their money back

423 replies

toolly · 08/01/2010 11:44

My poor sister has just cancelled her wedding which was due to take place in a European country in June. Two of the couples have asked that she refund their deposits or airfares. Am I not justified in thinking that these so called friends are insensitive, money grabbing unmentionables? I don't want to further my sister's woes but I am seething on her behalf. Am I justified to think that she should just say fuck off to these people and

OP posts:
XingMing · 08/05/2019 12:30

If 50 couples are flying in for the cancelled wedding at a cost per couple of £400, where is the OP's sister supposed to find the £20k?

2toddlers · 08/05/2019 12:33

They are being twats, it was their lookout to get insurance. If they are well off what’s to stop them going and having a Holiday? They are just making what must be a difficult situation worse, they’re no friends.

JenniferJareau · 08/05/2019 12:34

ZOMBIE THREAD

ZOMBIE THREAD

ZOMBIE THREAD

2toddlers · 08/05/2019 12:35

Yeah she’s probably remarried with 3 kids 9 years on. I wonder if they got an invite to the second wedding?? Lol

3dogs2cats · 08/05/2019 12:41

I think it’s outrageous. Can’t believe people would do that

RoastOx · 08/05/2019 12:42

If her husband to be had died or vice versa, would people still expect the cash back?

In this scenario I would be Peed off but I would just go on holiday

RoastOx · 08/05/2019 12:43

uh oh zomnbie thread. Sorry guys

chocolateandpinkgin · 08/05/2019 12:51

I think I would just go in that situation. If they'd already planned to go and decided they could afford to go then I don't see that it's the bride's responsibility to refund them. Presumably they booked the flights on the basis they could afford to attend the wedding and wouldn't have if they couldn't

Yep agree with this completely. If I'd booked to go to someone's wedding abroad and then the wedding got cancelled, OK I'd be a bit disappointed but never in a million YEARS would I dream of asking for the poor no-longer-bride-to-be (or groom) for our money back! You'd just go on the holiday anyway surely. If I was that hard up I couldn't afford it then I'd have never booked to go in the first place, and politely declined.

I got married abroad. 26 guests, as a rough estimate I think the holiday would have cost each person around £700 each. Over 18k. That would have financially ruined me. Thankfully, had my wedding not gone ahead, I don't think any of my friends/family are such selfish arseholes that they'd expect this of me when I'd already be heartbroken and likely lost thousands of pounds already from the cancelled wedding Hmm

I think whether or not the guests had insurance is beside the point as I very much doubt the insurance would cover this anyway - it's not like they can't travel, they've just decided they don't want to because the wedding that they were due to attend whilst on said holiday will no longer be taking place.

chocolateandpinkgin · 08/05/2019 12:52

OMG yep zombie thread - arrrrgh!

Disfordarkchocolate · 08/05/2019 12:57

Gosh, there are some hard people on here. The bride is going through an awful time and friends who were close enough to be invited (not forced) the wedding want to make it worse.

The guests can still go, or they can speak to the travel agent and see if they can change their booking. In no way have they lost out on anything more than a days entertainment. Give your sister an extra hug from me.

CustardCreamLover · 08/05/2019 13:02

For people saying get sister should pay I guess you're all money grabbing monsters in real life. Have some bloody sympathy, make sure you have travel insurance and don't go to a wedding abroad if you can't afford it!! If any of you were my friends in real life of definitely be cutting you out asap if you expressed these views to me.

CustardCreamLover · 08/05/2019 13:03

Bloody hell zombie thread!! Check the flipping date Custard!!

JenniferJareau · 08/05/2019 13:03

ZOMBIE THREAD

ZOMBIE THREAD

ZOMBIE THREAD

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 08/05/2019 13:11

Holy fuckeroony, who in their right minds puts a response like that to a NINE YEAR OLD ZOMBIE THREAD???

Jeez.

havingtochangeusernameagain · 08/05/2019 13:13

Loathe to respond, but you get a warning these days that a thread is a zombie thread so why on earth would you respond on it?

BobLemon · 08/05/2019 13:18

Well it’s risen from the bloody dead now, hasn’t it!?

There was a thread the other day about “did you get married when you didn’t want to?”

I’m going to pop over to it now and just leave a link to this thread...

MrsBailey2be · 08/05/2019 13:25

I'd just go anyway, nice few days away with the other half. They would have been doing that but with the wedding included anyway so yeah they are being arseholes IMO.

CustardCreamLover · 08/05/2019 13:34

@havingtochange not on the app you don't.

elliejjtiny · 08/05/2019 13:37

That's really rude of the guests.

Rainbunny · 08/05/2019 13:44

No I don't think she should have to pay for their flight deposits, it's just one of those terribly unfortunate things in life.

Any wedding gifts that she or the groom may have received should be returned to the guests but that's all that etiquette demands of a couple if they cancel their wedding.

I understand that it's frustrating to lose deposit money but this was a friend's relationship that just blew up, it's not like this will happen again. I really dislike how people go through life with a "bean counter" approach.

Antigon · 08/05/2019 13:46

My parents are still taking my eldest children there but for a holiday instead.

So you're personally not any worse off because you were never going to the wedding and also your parents paid for your children's plane tickets?

HBStowe · 08/05/2019 13:51

Loathe to respond, but you get a warning these days that a thread is a zombie thread so why on earth would you respond on it?

I’m on a web browser and didn’t get this - would be useful!

Antigon · 08/05/2019 13:52

urgh, Zombie

Antigon · 08/05/2019 13:52

Yep, there is no zombie thread warning on this thread.

GottenGottenGotten · 08/05/2019 13:58

You only get a zombie warning until someone posts on the threat I think.