to Hate/Love how repulsively bitchy MN is?

[Lucianne3]

I just can't stay away from AIBU....it's a more compulsive and shameful addiction than reading the Daily Mail online; same sense of barely-suppressed hatred and scorn, same vicious female bitchiness and judgemental outrage.

Happy New Year all of you...

I don't understand the bullying claim. Yes posting nasty things. yes some comments have upset me over the years. but bullying ? how does that actually happen then ?

And can someone spell it out to me who LeQ is ? I knew she wasn't cod, but who is she, please ?

She's just someone who flits between here and another site. Sassy's post above summarises well.

She posts things that some people don't like (see recent posts) and therefore irritates some people.

you can actually be bullied on a forum by peoples posts and singled out by nasty repeated comments.

Late last year, their was the 1st Internet adult conviction for Internet bullying.

I'd still like to know what UnlikelyAmazonian's post was all about!

Was the internet bullying part of a wider campaign of bullying, perhaps?

Well, first it was in the US......nuff said.

and second, the charges were mostly dismissed, with one 'misdemeanor' charge being upheld.

As this was supposedly "cyber-bullying leading to suicide of the person being bullied, that's like being given a parkign ticket for the getaway car during a bank-raid, but let off the bank raid.

I hope we don't go down the road of allowing these sort of prosecutions....madness IMO. Personally I think our CPS would be much harder to convince than the rather aggressive US State's Attorneys.....

Actually, I can conceive of 'cyber-bulying' being a problem but it's not a matter of having a merry ruck on MN - cyber-bullying would be, following someone from forum to forum, posting personal info about them, abusing them on every site possible and sending nasty emails too ie sustained malice directed at an individual NOT going 'Oh fuck off you twat' to someone posting rubbish on a discussion thread and then forgetting about it.

LeQueen: I shouldn't think so - I was thinking more of a person or persons going after an individual they already know in RL and using the internet to do it. I have a couple of 'stalkers' who sometimes pop up on discussion forums ranting about my awfulness (to the general derision or bemusement of everyone else) but these are both individuals I have met before the internet stuff began (and a prize pair of tossers anyway). I'm not weeping that they are 'cyber-bullying' me though I think they may hope that's what they are doing. I suppose you might get the odd whanger taking exception to being disagreed with online and mounting some kind of squawk campaign but it would be unlikely to have the same distressing impact on the recipient (I used to have posters on another forum threaten to shoot me and other charming things, this was not what you might call frightening as they were on the other side of the world).
But when I hear people talk seriously of cyberbullying I think more of the sort of stuff that one occasionally hears about spiteful teens: creating websites specifically to slag individuals off/posting nasty pictures of people as well as the hounding on social networking sites.
So, again, it's not an issue with discussion forums (fora?)

Does anybody actually listen to the news or even use the web, instead of saying "enough" said (pathetic really) you have a world information at your finger tips.

It wasn't in America, it was here in the UK!

It was on sites such as facebook, bebo etc.... Its the exact same stance as it is here, since this being a social networking site!

Being bullied on a Internet site, is classed as harrassesmt, so hence A, it is bullying and B, it is against the law to willfully say (type) spiteful things over and over again, as in this case LeQ is repeatedly being harassed from this thread by a few members.

As one of the MN rules which is at the top of the page no less, also states No personal attack, clearly and evidently LeQ is being personally attacked.

I also dont get peoples way of thinking when it comes to cyber bullying! (cyber bullying does exist in adults FACT!, why is it NOT acceptable to bully a schoolchild but OK to bully a adult on a forum?!?!? Its still words on a screen. Its still done thoughtfully, in fact its even worse that it is adults doing so, they are mature enough to think of others feelings and also the consequences to their behaviour! you could argue differ from a schoolchild perspective

You (general) are capable and have the knowledge that what you are wrong in your actions is wrong! If this were RL, you would avoid people like this, why does saying it on a screen be accepted, or be acceptable.

The conviction also, was a 18 year old girl (who has previous convictions) and was jailed for 3 months and is also now not able to contact the victim for 5 years, via any means.

Yes they can easily turn off their computer, as so can the bully!

Why is it the bully can continue their despicable behaviour and allow it to continue, when all a person does is post on a forum, to get a continuous personal attack made upon them.

If this lady is question is a troll, then when do people give her the satisfaction, for her attention seeking?.

Why not be the adults that we are, and do the best thing, and ignore. No one is forcing any of you to be on here either.(is that not we teach our children)?

It was also found in a inquest about a school girl, that the reason she committed suicide was because of cyber bullying (search Megan Gillian, suicide, bebo) In fact search internet bullying, you will get x x x x xx amount of hits.

Just because we are adults, does not give us a get out clause.

You have the Internet a worlds information, all you have to do is look up, facebook conviction UK.

I haven't read all this thread because it's so long and I find the format confuses my eyes.

Anyhoo - I LOVE this forum best out of the mumsnet site. Closely followed by : Breast and Bottlefeeding and Chat. But this is the one I click on first.

As for bitchiness - yes, there is a bit of bitching, but (imo) there's bitching on other sites too, so it's not exactly a big deal, is it?

I'm of the opinion that if you're a sensitive soul you should either stick to reading and not posting on here (or not even reading. Why put yourself through it if it upsets you so much?)

Alternatively, if you're soooo sensitive to harsh cyber-words, then you should remove yourself from forums, full-stop.

I use (and love) the TES site (well-known teaching forum) and by God, if you think it's bitchy here you'd have a heart attack if you went over there. I prefer the TYPE of bitching on Mumsnet - it's much heartier and 'healthier' and far less sneaky and snide than over there.

So 'Yay!' for the AIBU forum for giving me hearty chuckles over the last year or so. Keep up the good work you bitches!

Don't Stop Believin'.

I use the term 'you' as a general one. Not directed at any specific poster

I would add to LMH's post to say that even after the computer is switched off, the words stay in your memory, just as they do if uttered aloud to you or sent in some other way - and it is that that does the damage, in my experience as someone who has been bullied in person.

When I was bullied at school, at least I knew that my home was a safe place to be - kids didn't have the access to phones that they do now, nor were mobiles anything more than a Star Trek dream, but now bullies can come into their victim's home, via phone/text/internet, so the victim is left with the awful feeling that nowhere is safe.

Then that is the time to stay away from certain threads/forums and never return, no?

I don't want to diminish your feelings about bullying, but internet forums are easy to avoid, unlike real-life scanarios such as work, college, school etc.

As so is the people who bully, again I will say we allow the bullies a free pass

Why should the individual be targeted continually, and for the victim to be made the scapegoat, and then have to leave/be to made leave, due to actions that they cannot control for simply using a forum why is that a acceptable way of thinking.

Why should the victim leave and the bully stay, to allow the bully to move on to the next target?

You would not say that to someone who has been sexually assaulted repeatedly by the same person and say well just leave and no consequence will ever become of their actions. all because logically you (general) are giving them a free pass and allowing them to continue to "prey" on people who are venerable, so they can have what they think is empowerment.

Is is the exact same theory. theologically speaking.

sorry about my other post, son pressed post, and my keyboard button are stuck so some words are just

McSnail - the point that I was trying to make was that even if the victim leaves the forum/thread/whatever, the words that drove them to that in the first place will still be there in their memory, causing damage.

Quote from littlemrshappy:

"You would not say that to someone who has been sexually assaulted repeatedly by the same person and say well just leave and no consequence will ever become of their actions."

I'm sorry but that's a really stupid and ill-thought out analogy. OF COURSE I wouldn't say something like that to someone who'd been sexually assaulted.

What I'm talking about are ADULTS on internet fora, who have the power to tell their persecutors to fuck the fuck off. I've been flamed on here (unfairly or fairly, depending on your point of view) and I don't lose any sleep over it. And I'm not particularly thick-skinned.

Just realised how 'I'm alright Jack' that last bit sounded. Sorry.