to Hate/Love how repulsively bitchy MN is?

[Lucianne3]

I just can't stay away from AIBU....it's a more compulsive and shameful addiction than reading the Daily Mail online; same sense of barely-suppressed hatred and scorn, same vicious female bitchiness and judgemental outrage.

Happy New Year all of you...

all the self referential bitchy gossiping.i said/she said.like fishwives hanging over a fence

give it a fucking rest

JAMMy - Christ, hopefully not like that at all. However, have just caught site of self in mirror and a few more weeks of Christmas like sloth and it will be!

Thankfully back to work and normal eating habits tomorrow!

People who have fights across several different websites are people who really need to get out more. At least my stalker stays off MN.

But it's undeniable that you can be emotionally affected by words on a page, even if they are made up. It's too simplistic to say it's all nonsense.

The difference is you can just walk away or name change or whatever.

GetOrfMoiLand - that is an accurate and succinct description

Bizarre.

I agree with Corriefan actually; I think words on a page can certainly affect someone, particularly if that person has opened themselves up and is genuinely seeking advice (admittedly that does not appear to describe LeQueen ).

It seems to be acceptable now to write things on forums, in comment sections of online newspaper articles (not just the DM, either ) etc, that it seems unlikely to me that people would say to the person in RL. I know that anonymity gives a certain freedom, and I think that's the attraction in it, but it can also give you licence to be quite cruel, and justify it with 'well it's just words on a screen'. Does that make it ok to be cruel? I'm not talking about specific posts/posters BTW, just generally.
Also, I think it depends on how honest you are online. If you use forums etc to let off steam as an alter-ego to some degree, then the replies are going to wash off you much more easily, as you're deliberately presenting a part of yourself. If you're just being you, though, warts and insecurities and all, then someone digging at you is probably going to feel alot more uncomfortable.

Incidentally, I go on another forum (not parenting related), and I've never read an unsupportive, bitchy or accusatory post there. I wonder if it's because the members meet up on a regional level, and therefore aren't just words on a screen; they know the faces behind the words.

Anyway, as I said in the OP, the bitchiness makes compulsive reading...I feel dirty for reading and enjoying it, but I still come back for more...

Lucianne I totally agree with the alter-ego thing. If you go on as yourself and speak completely honestly and someone says you're talking shit it can be difficult to brush it off. I was under the impression that most people are speaking the truth as well! I often think about issues from forums after the PCs gone off, not in a hurt way, just mulling over, or frustrated. This is natural isn't it? I know I think about things a lot but to be able to compartmentalise thoughts in such a way is quite a skill!
But I think there is a forum mindset whereby you become more bolshy the longer you're exposed to it and less sensitive, maybe once you get there it's all a joke anyway and easily forgettable.
Also the anonymity thing has a huge impact, I agree.
However I go on a regional forum and they can be ridiculously horrible to each other. Someone can ask the time and they'll get slated for being lazy and not finding out themselves!

Sometimes, the oversensitive whiners spend the rest of their lives whining and using their fwagile little feelings as a weapon ie the fact that they are so 'sensitive' means no one is allowed to ever disagree with them or point out their stupidity or indeed malice. So the fact that overstuffed egos get punctured on the internet is no bad thing.

Exactly, Corriefan!

SolidGold - you're kind of a case in point..

Whether someone is 'whining' and using their 'fwagile' feelings is a bit of a subjective thing, really, isn't it? One person's fwagile stupid whiner is another's vulnerable person who needs advice and support, rather than mocking derision.

There are lots of people who, tbh, I think are pretty stupid and have overstuffed egos that I'm tempted to puncture. But since I don't know all the facts, I try to rein in that feeling. It's perfectly possible to disagree with them (or actually point out their stupidity) without being mean. But then I guess 'mean' is pretty subjective too.

I'm a very decisive driver, and anyone being a bit dithery in front of me fills me with irrational irritation. I shout mutter things at people when I'm closeted in my little metal box that I wouldn't dream of saying to them if they could hear me (and then feel a bit ashamed ). I think the internet is a bit similar to sitting in your car, except that people can 'hear' you.

what a very very strange thread, but hey noone forced me to read it.....

anyone who posts on a sensitive issues here (AIBU) needs their head examining I think. I once shouted at someone to log off cos she really pissed me off, I know it seems harsh but she was getting all upset by some posts and it was so victimy....

I feel stragely dirty reading this, all the weird cliquey shit with Lequeen, anyfucker and sassy! ugh, shudders

I honestly think that there are some people who don't really take time to look at the other topic areas before they post.

If you are feeling fragile, then AIBU is definitely not the place. Some people only learn that after they've made their first post and got lots of "ffs" back.

However, I also think that MN has really forced me to think about other peoples' point of view. In RL, people tend to agree with me most of the time, or a subjsect will get dropped if it's causing uncomfortable conflict. I do like a good debate !

What does irritate me is people who seem unable to consider other peoples' opinions, and unable to apologise if they have hurt someone.

"subject" ffs

Good point Jamie - I would avoid contentious subjects with people because I don't want to sour the atmosphere (but then think all sorts of things about them/it in private or with OH)

I think you're right; to post in this thread does solicit people disagreeing with you, it's just that some people seem so dogmatic themselves, and don't make much attempt to consider the feelings of others.

boys are like dogs

Ive only been on this site a few hours, and some of the insane dribble some posts and also lack of brain power is somewhat

some also are witty and knowledgeable

sometimes insane dribble is just what I m looking for..
too much knowledge and wit in my life!

You ladies are not mean. I discovered this group via some news thing I read a few weeks ago, saying how terrible MN was. (Of course I googled it immediately! Lol1 But I love it here. Everyone is so much politer and caring than many groups I have read. And so far I have only read the AIBU section.

Blimey GTAmom, where have you been hanging out? Fighty.com?

DrMoo,
Coud not agree with you more lol.

fighty.com - ha ha!!!

But I agree, if you are an arse and post on a contentious topic , yes await flaming

but I actually welcomed the advice I got when I posted , and they told me I was BU!