Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Potential fraud?

411 replies

DontKnowWhatToDoNext · 22/12/2009 14:30

I am prepared to be flamed so go ahead but WWYD in my situation?

In brief - DH and I split up last year. 6 months ago, I lost my job due to depression and have since started getting better, have been living on benefits since then with DH paying maintenance for our 3 DCs. I have been desperately trying to get another job but my sickness record at my last job has gone against me. Last month, I was given notice to quit my rented house because the landlord wants to sell - runs out end of Jan.

Over the last few months DH and I have been giving our relationship another go and fell into bed last month (definitely not planned) and I have just found out I'm pregnant which was not supposed to happen . We have discussed it at length and want to get back together (we split up because we have been through a lot of shit over the last few years and blamed each other and basically were hating each other all the time). Time apart has helped sort that out and he has been round almost everyday to see the kids so they have not been that badly affected.

Now I had been to the council (before I found out about the pregnancy) and told them that I am about to be made homeless and they basically said that I would have to find another private rent or they would put me in a B&B.

Now bad as this sounds, I want to try for a council house (even if it means a B&B for a few months as the rents are so high in this area (1000 for a passable 3 bed and now I will need a 4 bed which will be about 1200) so do not intend to get back with DH 'officially' until this happens. DH works but only brings in about 1800 a month and we will never be able to live on his wage in private rented especially as I won't be able to work with a baby and I can't stand the insecurity of having to move all the time (we have moved 3 times in the last 3 years). I am also bankrupt and will not be able to private rent unless I have a guarantor which I don't! Part of the reason for the problems with DH and I were financial as we lost everything (including our own home) when his business went under a few years back. He will also have to go bankrupt soon as his debts have been hanging around and with another child to pay for, he will not be able to pay them.

DH has his own flat and is not actually living with me so AIBU and a total scumbag to try and get a council house as a single parent??

OP posts:
sickofsocalledexperts · 22/12/2009 21:02

Jacqueline, could I ask what penalty your friend got?

Earlybird · 22/12/2009 21:11

''Also I had sex with my DH (after a year of celibacy and it was damn good) just the once two weeks before I got served notice with my tenancy''

Did you use contraception?

RomillyJane · 22/12/2009 21:18

OP - it is people like you who make me MAD, and fed up that MY tax goes to support you.

I would gladly pay more in tax to support the genuinely needy as I am lucky and have a good job, but paying for feckless, deceitful, dishonest, people with and entitlement attitude really boils my piss.

Morality has nothing to do with religion. I would suggest your moral code is seriously askance.

Happy to be called a bint... or anything else!

CaptainNancy · 22/12/2009 21:23

Could I point out there is a common AIBU 'box room' troll?
OP's 6th post...

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 22/12/2009 21:25

What's a boxroom troll?

VicarInaTinselTuTu · 22/12/2009 21:28

a troll that lives in a box room??

purplepeony · 22/12/2009 21:30

EB '""'Also I had sex with my DH (after a year of celibacy and it was damn good) just the once two weeks before I got served notice with my tenancy''

Did you use contraception?""

I asked the OP this question, or she alluded to the fact that they had an accident, which was vague- she told us that accidents happen ( and she might have said with contraception) but it seemed to be a general reply rather than onw which was about her and that particular night.

I have asked her again and she ignored it.

Earlybird · 22/12/2009 21:34

purplepeony - I didn't think I had seen anything about them taking precautions on this thread, though i do remember she said the sex wasn't planned and 'was damn good'.

purplepeony · 22/12/2009 21:34

OP says "1800 is not a lot when council tax is another 200 a month on top. I will check tax credits though."

I am not surprised you went bankrupt if this is your way of adding up!

Don't you mean that your income is £1800 MINUS £200 for council tax?

purplepeony · 22/12/2009 21:36

*EB_ you could be right, though I thought she went on at length about "accidents can happen even with contraception" implying they had used it.

I said she must have been very unlucky to have got PG after 1 night, using contraception, and it failing.

CaptainNancy · 22/12/2009 21:36

Troll always posts abot moving in with dp/dh and mentions the box room. No idea why, trolls are obv slightly unhinged...

jaquelinehyde · 22/12/2009 21:39

Sickof - It was something silly, not sure how much. However, she did have to pay the money she had recieved through fraud back. If it wasn't paid by X date she had to pay more. I think? Don't quote me on that, I can find out the exact details if you would like me to.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 22/12/2009 21:39

this is a very roundabout post about a boxroom though, isn't it

are we being had ?

unfortunately, I thought it all rang rather true

there are people like this around, sadly

I hope to God they are in the minority

purplepeony · 22/12/2009 21:44

unplanned pregnancies happen all the time

this is what she said actually.

OP- if you are still reading, why don't you just rent privately? Or ask your parents to be guarantors?

You don't have to have insecurity when you rent- most tenancies are protected short term tenancies for 12 months. I know that isn't long, but I'd rather take a chance on that than do something like you are suggesting.

You also need to watch your back- there may well be people who see your DHs comings and goings and if word gets around that you are saying you are separated, when in fact it is clear you are married and having his baby, tongues might wag and not for the best.

smokinaces · 22/12/2009 21:47

A council house is only a council house for life after the first year. You are not a secure tenant in the first 12 months - and anything you declare can mean they make you move/serve notice. When Ex-H left (3 weeks after we were housed in a 3 bed house with 2 boys aged under 3, bloody lucky I know) the council had every right to make me rehouse to a smaller house. However, due to the marraige breakup/recent move/me pleading they decided the circumstances meant that I could keep the house. (They looked at the welfare of my children apparently)

Unfair to others I know (I am now undercapacity in my home) but I was fecking lucky to get a solid house in a nice street and selfishly didnt want to give that up.

I had no idea that ex-h was going to leave. I know our relationship raised a few eyebrows - as 2 adults and 2 children we were eligible for a 2-3 bed house. As 1 adult and 2 children we were eligble for a 1-2 bed place. We were bloody lucky to bid and win this place, moved in - then whoops husband ups and leaves and everyone thinks we did some kind of fraud to get this place.

IMO (and I live in the SE) £1800 is a lot of wages every month for a family and you could afford to privately rent as a couple. YANBU to want a council house as rents are low and tenancies more secure - but YABU to try and fraud the system to get one.

Quattrocento · 22/12/2009 21:57

I am doing the sums

Financial fecklessness +
Carelessness over contraception +
Single parenthood +
Entitlement to large four-bedroomed house +
Benefit fraud

=

Wind-up

Original poster
DontKnowWhatToDoNext · 22/12/2009 21:57

RomillyJane - you can boil your piss all you like, your taxes have only been supporting me for 6 months and I don't feel bad about that as I have contributed more than enough in my time. Whether or not we are together, my DH has always paid tax as well so he is at least contributing to the pot. Never claimed anything yourself no?

I do not have to explain my sex life to anybody even though it seems I am beholden to all of you because I am on benefits ! Although it was a one off which is quite surprising as it has taken me between 2 and 3 years to conceive the other DCs.

Ho hum I am really nasty and selfish to want a secure home for my family yes? Mortgage is a no hope as I have previously explained my financial predicament. Really really hope I get lucky just so I come back and post on it to piss you all off. Someone who argues back is always a troll eh. I am sure there are plenty who have done what I am so I won't lose sleep over it. Save your 'disgusted of Tunbridge Wells' act for something truly disgusting like paedophilia or child neglect not someone trying to crawl their way to some semblance of a decent life with a bit of security.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 22/12/2009 22:06

op....third time asking ....which band are you in/points allocated???

expatinscotland · 22/12/2009 22:07

I'm afraid I have to agree with you, Captain Nancy.

Well spotted.

purplepeony · 22/12/2009 22:07

OMG- you are a selfish, attention seeking so and so aren't you?

So paying taxes for 16 years makes it okay to now plan to commit fraud eh?

And your sex life is none of our business even though your paraded it for us- even down to saying how good it was!

Don't try to excuse yourself by saying how it was an unexpected baby- sex with no contraception = baby sometimes.

Don't try to go for the sympathy vote by saying you are trying to do the best for your family- we ALL are- but we do it legally.

You disgust me. I work bloody hard to pay taxes. Why the hell should they go to support you and all your kids when you can't be arsed to use contraception, you have a DH who earns £30K a year, and you PLAN to milk the system?

It is a pity that you didn't plan you family and your financial affairs better.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 22/12/2009 22:08

OP you are not listening. There is nothing wrong with wanting security. However lying to get a council house is not fair on those who really need one, and also very very unrealistic. You will need to stay in your flat til you are forced to leave in order to qualify as unintentionally homeless for starters. You need to make sure your landlord has served you the correct notice then when you have to leave turn up at your local housing office and apply for temporary housing. You will get b&b anywhere that could be miles and miles from your hometown. How will you get your dcs to school if your b&b is 15 miles away? Then you will have to wait months and months to get housed in a flat somewhere not of your choosing with no more than 3 bedrooms. In the south east where i live you can rent a 3 bed privately for under a grand. You will get 60 a week child ben, 100+ a week child tax cred, and maybe a tiny bit of housing ben. You won't have much to spare but you will manage. If dh's debts are unmanageable you can get him to the cab for advice but that shouldn't stop you from finding a place. If you moved into private on your own then moved dh in you'd be doing nothing wrong and get all your rent and council tax paid anyway.

Feelingforty · 22/12/2009 22:09

how about don't have baby no 4 - DH/ EXDh doesn't go bankrupt & you can all get your act together again ?

Oh & perhaps get sterilised ?

expatinscotland · 22/12/2009 22:10

Don't waste your time, peeps.

CaptainNancy sussed it out.

purplepeony · 22/12/2009 22:12

I don't think she is a troll- what is there in post 6 that makes you so certain? have read it over and can see nuthink!

expatinscotland · 22/12/2009 22:14

No, she's right. Boxroom troll always throws in the boxroom, but not in the OP, and always about the dh/dp moving in.