to exclude the very elderly from my wedding

[TisTheSeasonToBeHully]

I am getting married for the first time the spring after next and am so excited! I have not been married before although my df has been married twice before, and so am possibly being a bit bridezilla about it, but we have chosen our venue and menus, band, outfits etc and it comes to so much money that we are going to have to restrict guests.

I know people are anti excluding children, and I can sort of see that, but what about the really old? Not horribly, but just because a lot of our relatives don't really know where they are IYKWIM and wouldn't really benefit from it. AIBU?

this can't be serious

did u mean to change your name for a wind up?

blimey

I laughed ALOT at 'I'm getting married for the first time'

I'm glad I'm not your nana.

lolol

surely a joke???

if not, please invite them. it's awful the way the elderly are excluded from society. we had tons of elderly relatives (in their eighties mostly) at ours and they had a ball - talked about it for years apparently

Love it.
Do your invites request that anyone of any age who might consider wearing a nappy should not bother RSVPing!

YABU. Everyone knows that old people are the best dancers. Your wedding disco will be shite, frankly, without the elderly there. And think of the You've Been Framed opportunities you'll be missing.

Well if no-one knows where they are or how to get in touch then you can't invite them anyway surely?

YABU.

No, of course we would invite the compos mentis ones who would appreciate it. I mean the others who really wouldn't know where they were. It just seems an awful lot of money for those who are basically in lala land. Is that really so awful?

BTW - I hope my post came off across as sarcastic then as that is how it should have done.

I think actually the older the person is the more they appreciate a wedding invitation and get excited about the day and the harder they take it if not included - YABU not to invite people on grounds of them being elderly. Anyone who is very elderly may decide not to come if they think it will be too much for them, but it is appropriate to give them that choice.

sorry misread your post there, but no yanbu, it's your wedding, you only do it once (unless you are your DF ) so invite who you really want there.

You should only invite attractive people who will co-ordinate with the chosen colour scheme to your first wedding. Kids and oldies can come to your second (and possibly subsequent) ones when you've realised what it's all about.

YANBU - old people tend to buy gifts even if not invited, so you shouldn't loose out.

And they don't eat much, so what would be the point in paying for a full meal for them?

Oh, and they won't be alive for much longer, so won't be able to hold the grudge for forever.

If any of them would actually be distressed at being taken somewhere unfamiliar then better send them a nice piece of cake.

But if they will enjoy it even if they aren't entirely sure who you are, then invite them.

wordsmith and also but true

And if all your guests are old it is safe to assume they have no teeth, so you can just serve soup. No need to shell out for costly steak. Win/win. You're looking at this all wrong - invite the very young and the very old ONLY. The middle-aged can bugger off.

Yes, emphy, but we will invite those ones who willa ctually be able to read the invite and understand it. But surely you all have relatives at the more gaga end of the spectrum? It can't just be me and DF (and to be really honest as he is a little bit older he has quite a few more but I don't want to hurt him by saying them specifically because he is quite sensitive about our ages already)

School holidays, I see.