To charge for Christmas lunch?

[katie3677]

My parents are away this Christmas and as we are housesitting for them we will for once have space to have all of DH's family over for Christmas lunch (10 adults, 7 kids), so have all been invited. Last year DSIL did Christmas lunch at her house and I helped. We were all tasked with bringing something, and whilst she did the main course, I did starter and Christmas pudding and brought champagne (well, prosecco actually) for Champagne cocktails. DBIL's girlfriend was tasked with bringing wine, but rang me at midday on Christmas day to say could I bring wine as she had drunk it all the night before. She promised to pay me for it but never did.
As a result, I have decided this year that instead of divvying up jobs etc, (which didn't work out fairly at all last year) that I will charge each adult £25 towards the cost, no charge for the kids, and I will do all the shopping, cooking and preparing, so all they have to do on the day is turn up, eat and drink. I thought this was quite a kindness, but DBIL's girlfriend has taken issue with this and I am struggling to get themoney off most of them up front.
We are by no means rich and it would cost me a fortune to do Christmas lunch for this amount of people, so I thought this was the fairest way. AIBU to think that this is fair?

I think you don't want to host xmas

you hosted it last year

let the feckless lush who drank the wine last year host it this year

there is nothing worse than being invited someone where the hostess is obviously a reluctant one

I'd rather go out and pay for xmas lunch then pay family for it!

"As you have already asked your guests to pay I guess there is no going back."....unless you follow Quint's very wise suggestion

Erm, no. YABU. Ask them to bring food/drinks or just have a small dinner with your immediate family. I totally see where you are coming from, but it's just not right.

Think Quint's email is the best option too. OR ring them adn say the same. Make sure you mention that not everyone brought what they were meant to last year - but don't get into a slanging session about that.

I'd do what QS said,though if you do send an e-mail please don't be quite as precise as this woman was when listing what her family should bring for Thanksgiving.

From: Marney
As you all know a fabulous Thanksgiving Dinner does not make itself. I need to ask each of you to help by bringing something to complete the meal. I truly appreciate your offers to assist with the meal preparation.

Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders. I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully. If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL! If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! And please do not forget anything.

All food that is to be cooked should already be prepared, bring it hot and ready to serve, warm or room temp. These are your ONLY THREE options. Anything meant to be served cold should, of course, already be cold.

HJB?Dinner wine

The Mike Byron Family

1. Turnips in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. Please do not fill the casserole all the way up to the top, it gets too messy. I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but most of us hate turnips so don?t feel like you a have to feed an army.
2. Two half gallons of ice cream, one must be VANILLA, I don?t care what the other one is. No store brands please. I did see an ad this morning for Hagan Daz Peppermint Bark Ice Cream, yum!! (no pressure here, though).
3. Toppings for the ice cream.
4. A case of bottled water, NOT gallons, any brand is ok.

The Bob Byron Family

1. Green beans or asparagus (not both) in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. If you are making the green beans, please prepare FOUR pounds, if you are making asparagus please prepare FIVE pounds. It is up to you how you wish to prepare them, no soupy sauces, no cheese (you know how Mike is), a light sprinkling of toasted nuts, or pancetta, or some EVOO would be a nice way to jazz them up.
2. A case of beer of your choice (I have Coors Light and Corona) or a bottle of clos du bois chardonnay (you will have to let me know which you will bring prior to 11/22).

The Lisa Byron Chesterford Family

1. Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level. You can bring an hors d?ouvres. A few helpful hints/suggestions. Keep it very light, and non-filling, NO COCKTAIL SAUCE, no beans of any kind. I think your best bet would be a platter of fresh veggies and dip. Not a huge platter mind you (i.e., not the plastic platter from the supermarket).

The Michelle Bobble Family

1. Stuffing in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please make the stuffing sans meat.
2. 2.5-3 qts. of mashed squash in a casserole with a lid and serving spoon
3. Proscuitto pin wheel ? please stick to the recipe, no need to bring a plate.
4. A pie knife

The June Davis Family

1. 15 LBS of mashed potatoes in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please do not use the over-size blue serving dish you used last year. Because you are making such a large batch you can do one of two things: put half the mash in a regulation size casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids. Only one serving spoon is needed.
2. A bottle of clos du bois chardonnay

The Amy Misto Family (why do I even bother she will never read this)

1. A pumpkin pie in a pie dish (please use my silver palate recipe) no knife needed.
2. An apple pie in a pie dish, you can use your own recipe, no knife needed.

Looking forward to the 28th!!

Marney

Quint's email is rather fab. Love the '+ wine' at the end of each.

I am bewildered at the notion of charging people for their dinner. Surely that's not entertaining, it's running a restaurant?

Am I the only person who thinks that £25 for christmas dinner is pretty cheap? Would pay twice as much in a restaurant for not particularly great food.

Wonder which family provided the blunt instrument to bump her off with ?

I think asking for money when it was not an explicit part of the initial invitation seems rude.

In our family we do always divvy up the Christmas costs though.

Some years people have bought items, more recently I have bought and cooked everything and people have given me an agreed amount toward it. Some other years the more central people have pooled some funds and then others (waifs and strays) have been asked to bring items. We've always been upfront about it and discussed what was and wasn't fair though.

£25 for just one meal sounds like a lot to me, I think my brother and his wife may have given me £25 each toward costs last year but that was for all meals from Christmas Eve dinner through to Boxing Day lunch.

You really shouldn't have offered to do it OP. For what it's worth I would never rely on people to bring food/drink which is essential for Christmas lunch because the chances of them forgetting are very high.

I would never charge either though. I would accept any offers graciously but not expect any.

At the end of the day if you have decided to cook for the masses then you have to pay for it.

Season of Goodwill and all that...

i love marney!

Would you be very upset and offended if a lot of them decided not to turn up though? Because that has to be a risk.

Katie, you mentioned earlier that you're a bit of a control freak. You have nothing on Marney!!

why not ask them bring round the ingredients a few days before xmas, including all the wine (so you can have it chilled!)

i think if you are cooking for £17 then it's fair enough to ask them all to contribute but it seems very wrong to charge them money to come.

OR, can you say you will provide the main course and they need bring all the booze and pudding - that way if anyone ducks out then you'll all still have xmas dinner with a glass of water!

Can understand why you want to do this but it is bound to put people's hackles up. Would support others who have said that you should agree to take care of the food, but make it abundantly clear that everyone needs to bring what they will be drinking and that if they don't, there just won't be any booze. If they are the big drinkers you say they are, I very much doubt that they will "forget" to bring something!

der! cooking for 17 people not £'s!

You can't really charge for Christmas lunch without looking really mean, but like you said it's all said and done now.

Take back the request for them to pay but ask them to bring a dish and to be honest, if they don't it is then them who look like the stingy ones and it will be embarrasing for them. Don't bail them out by providing it for them if they forget.

Alternatively cancel having it at your house and book a restaurant. That way everyone will still pay their fair share and you wont have any of the hassle.

i am having everyone at mine for Xmas day

i am buying turkey and veg and trimmings and preparing and cooking, also got two bottles of champers cheap in closing down threshers an a case of wine cheap of a friend.

my folks are bringing more champagne, pudding and chocs, and ILS are bringing stuffing and fruit and bits

i would rather die than ask them for money. how gauche

and it will not cost be £250 either, is your turkey gold plated

if you can't afford to ask them to come , then don't ask !!

I think my family are close enough that we would happily chip in cash to someone who's cooking. But £50 for a couple is a lot.
But it's much nicer and more of a family, sharing thing to bring different contributions.
If someone doesn't bring something then so be it. It's their fault there's no cream/pudding/veg whatever and no one will blame you.

The idea of contributing some £ to a Christmas dinner was floated a couple of years ago...by my friend's mum. My friend and I were appalled. We'd been there for Christmas once before an had taken 3 bottles of expensive wine and a bit of food. Definitely more than £50.

So when this was floated, it was too late for us to back out, but it confirmed all my vilest thoughts about this woman. She dropped the idea...but I will never accept an invitation to Christmas lunch at her house ever again.

anyway, I am a much better cook, and the thought of paying someone £25 or what ever to massacre / cremate a turkey, offends my Yorkshire upbringing.

And PS I wouldn't touch AB's with a barge pole.

That is wrong imo, i would rather go to a hotel for a fancy christmas lunch than to somebodies house for that money. It is an awful lot op, why not get them to bring some stuff. I personally would not have that many people round if i could not provide for it myself.