to be mildly annoyed at ds being called 'Good Boy!'

[ilovemuffins]

e.g. by PILs. I realise it's just something people say without thinking. But am I alone in thinking this sounds a bit patronising? C'mon, he's not a dog!

Oh I love getting all annoyed over nothing :-)

praise is praise, innit?

I think this is prolly more to do with your relationship with ILs, yes?

[overthinks]

You are joking?

YABU

i say it all the time to little kids, it's called positive praise and reinforces their self-confidence and rewards them for good behaviour.

although i must congratulate you on having a wonderful life that renders this the most annoying thing you have to think about.

yab a bit u.

My dad still seems to think my ds is a puppy and whistles for him to come.

And I have to confess I rather like 'walking' ds on his reins, I was never allowed a dog .

YABU (did they pat him on the head at the same time?)

what's wrong with calling him that?

i say that to ds2, when he is being a ........good boy.

God no. I'd be furious - absolutely furious. In fact, I'd be tempted to cut all contact.

YABU.

Hopes BALD is right, I say this to DS all the time. I don't mean it to sound patronising. Am I scarring him for life???

I pat mine on the head too

Bless 'em

Technically, it's dogs that should be offended. They're not boys, after all.

Is that wrong?

My DC only object when I use the wrong gender

YABU, and a little bonkers

nothing wrong with it

I'n intrigued by meglet's little boy though... "My dad still seems to think my ds is a puppy"... how did you change him from puppy to boy?

by far not the most annoying thing in my life I'm afraid..! But the only one nobody else seems to understand. I don't mind praise at all - in fact do it all the time - but Good Boy just doesn't seem right. Why not just praise a specific behaviour/action, or thank him for being kind, etc?

If doing something praiseworthy makes him a 'good boy', then surely if gets up to something, ahem, less than praiseworthy this would make him a Bad Boy??

are you for real?

oh, and I do love my PILs to bits though, despite their crime :-)

I tell DS he is a good boy - what should I say instead?

He is a great boy?
He is a nice boy?
He is a fan-fucking-tastic boy?

What would you replace with good? If a kid has been good, tell him!

As for the whole dog thing... jeeez! Get over it. Your DS will take praise as praise.

yes sixty foot doll - real enough, just a bit bored today. I actually know I probably am being unreasonable too!

Yes, I also tell DS he is a bad or a naughty boy. So yes. Works both ways.

I not only call my DS's good boys but I call them puppies all the time!

OK, I'll go against the tide. YANBU. DH and I make a real effort to avoid using that terminology with DD. We try to say "Well done" instead. Saying "good girl/boy" is passing a value judgement about the person - like they are either "good" or "bad" as a person. I think it is healthier to praise the good things they do and achieve. I mean, what's the flip side? They do something naughty and you say "bad boy"? Nice label!

My DD2 spent two whole years channelling a dog called Smudge. She loved being called Good Boy. She also responded to Heel and panted loudly when you patted her on the head.
OP you are a touch bonkers today. Is it Christmas fever?

thanks ponymum - you put this a lot more eloquently than I did. Good to know I'm not the only one after all :-)