to be mildly annoyed at ds being called 'Good Boy!'

[ilovemuffins]

e.g. by PILs. I realise it's just something people say without thinking. But am I alone in thinking this sounds a bit patronising? C'mon, he's not a dog!

Oh I love getting all annoyed over nothing :-)

You would hate me, I do it all the time, even to the children I work with. I don't think they will grow up damaged because of it.

I think YANBU. 'Good boy/girl' doesn't quite sit right with me either. Couldn't put my finger on it exactly, but Ponymum gets pretty close.

YAB a wanker tbh

I usually only tell DS that he has been a good boy if he has 'sat' and 'stayed' on command. Then he can have a ......... if he begs for it!

ponymum, are you a teacher by any chance?! I only ask cos that's what I was taught when doing teacher training - you praise the action not the child (and likewise scold the action not the child)!

So kind of understand where OP is coming from .

I know what you mean, but YABU

I sometimes call DS2 Angus which is the dogs name...

I don't tell my boys they are Bad Boys. I call 'em Evil Boys. Actually I do call them "evil puppies" when they are being wild and naughty. Years of therapy ahead.

paggy
watch it....

so ponymum and muffins where does my approach stand - which is using the phrase but making clear why eg "good girl for clearing the table" "good girl for getting yourself into bed without mucking about" etc. I've always been conscious of the thing about praising the behaviour, and making it clear to them what they've done that merits the praise...but it's never occured to me that I shouldn;t throw in a "good girl" .

"good" applied to babies though...that really gets me riled. "is she good?" asked of a week old baby. makes me want to say "no, she's clearly the spawn of satan. but at least she sleeps well and doesn't cry much"

pagwatch, ah well it's all part of modern teaching - we're also not allowed to use red pen to mark books cos apparently it undermines self esteem!!!

Don't get me started . . . . .

yy about good boy/bad boy but these are GPs making the comments as opposed to parents or teachers

ummmm. I have changed my mind.

I would be very offended.

[phew]

i use red
i is a webel

I am always going good boy/girl to my sons, daughter, cat, guinea pigs...

I honestly doubt that any child is going to sit down and analyse what they've been called. "Oh no, I've been called a good girl...what implications does this have when I'm not on my best behaviour...!"

Some people think way too much about some seriously trivial things.

YABU

Chill out you are being VVVVVVVVU, i call my dd good girl all the time fgs does not mean she is a dog never even thought of that.

hatwoman, totally agree on the 'good' babies. Don't know what goes through people's minds asking if a one week old is good

i can see where you are coming from re your use of 'good girl'. You don't apply it mindlessly. Sometimes I think people just dismissively mutter 'good boy/girl' in order not to have to actively engage with the child

YABU. I call my DD (16 months) a good girl, and now she calls herself a good girl whenever she's proud of herself. It's very cute.

yabvu.
I call boys "good lads"- I think it's appropriate!!

i find well done SHithead works

hollybrain No def not a teacher, LOL!! But my sister home-schools her six children and she is really hot on this sort of thing. She drummed it into me years ago what sort I language I have to use when addressing my neices. I often roll my eyes at her strict rules about stuff like that, but this one I thought, actually that makes sense. (And her kids are all fantastic, polite, have great self esteem, etc - basically she is Wondermum compared to me ).

hatwoman why don't you try "well done for clearing the table / you did a great job with xx / I'm so pleased with the way you did xx so well" etc.

You want to go to my local Asda to hear the names some people call their kids.

Behaviour not the person, behaviour not the person...

i disagree with the behaviour person split
the person IS the behaviour