To love swearing...

[McSnail]

I quite enjoy swearing (time and place allowing) It can be quite hilarious (think Malcolm Tucker from The Thick of It)and it really doesn't offend me when done properly, iykwim.

One of the things I like about Mumsnet is that posters aren't treated like teenage miscreants - no words are censored, you can say what you like (more or less) and many a time I've found myself spraying coffee all over my screen at some foul-mouthed turn of phrase...

I use another forum (not a parenting one) and it REALLY pisses me off when words are blanked out by the cat's- bum- mouth swear filter. We can't even say 'tit'.

YANBU although time/place thing is important. I said "FUCK!" this morning when some stupid tosser stopped for no reason on a roundabout and I had to brake sharply. 2.2 DD then sat saying "fuck, fuck, fuck" as I explained that it's a very bad word and mummy was naughty to have said it...

I love swearing too and am frequently told off my my teenage ds for it.

Especially at slow fucking drivers doing 20 on a 40 road, tits at the supermarket checkout who don't get their money BEFORE they pack their shopping, etc etc. I do Silent Swearing and Loud Tutting at those ones.

YABcompletelyfuckingreasonable

I absofuckinglutely love it, my favourites are bollockchops and cunt.

Oh I love swearing. Love it.

But of course I have to bite my tongue with the children around. I have never minced my swearwords and thus am finding it hard to substitute.

However I have managed to shoehorn the following expressions in: "blimmin 'eck", "for crying out loud" and "Honestly!"...

It's not half as satisfying as shouting fuck fuck for fucking fucks sake though.

Any other substitute swearwords that are not "sugar" and other such nonsense, gratefully received!

"Any other substitute swearwords that are not "sugar" and other such nonsense, gratefully received!"

crunt/twunt
frickin'/frockin'/fecking
bum (slightly childish, but ok-ish)
gonk (noun)
Bam-pot (noun)

I agree!!!!! ever since I have been watching The Wire have got worse. Bitchin
Tho use the cunt phrase too much methinks

Hmmmm. Twunt is quite satisfying.

Twunt twunt twunt twunt twunt

Yes I like that

Try swear words in a foreign language, perfectly reasonable in front of the kids and educational too! I also use words like poo, pants, bottom, again childish but make you giggle as well as releasing stress. LOL mumblechum, WHY is it always a shock to people that they actually have to PAY for their shopping 9cue much rummaging in giant handbag, sssslllllooooooowwwwww removal of purse and then the great hunt for the correct credit card... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

Here's another one: fud-baws. I love fud-baws.

What a fucking liberty!

Nothing quite hits the spot like a good swear (imagine stubbing your toe and saying 'oh bother' - just doesn't cut the mustard).
Agree porcamiseria - The Wire really made me swear more (ditto The Sopranos), but the BEST sweary film is Sexy Beast.
Ben Kingsley = potty-mouthed legend!

it's not big and it's not clever

Arsehat, fuckmuppet and barnaclebollocks.

Oh, and YANBU.

at fuckmuppet

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, but you can't beat a good 'pissflaps' when you've missed the bus.

Fuckmuppet Love it.

In the right circumstances a good swear is fantastic- especially as people seldom expect it from me for some reason so it still retains its shock-factor.

Bumfuck. Arsepig. Wankmonkey. Knobjockey.

fucksocks
arse buscuit
nob jockey

tethersend - I am not a huge one for swearing unless really provoked (dh makes a run for it if i do) but I do like that one!

i shouted "twat!" really loudly at a car who drove through a puddle, splashing me, this morning.
it wasn't too satisfiying because i got stares from other people in the street.

why why why do people not slow down when they're going over humps which will obviously have standing water at the base when it's FUCKING TIPPING IT DOWN!!!

i always use pants, golly (or golly gosh) and blimey o'reilly when i can't swear.

Saw "wankshaft" on a thread earlier today and will be incorporating it into my vocab immediately.

Oh and YA-definitely fucking-NBU!

I love sweary things too.

Just watched Sky-plussed The Thick of It as DH won't watch it with me because he hates the swearing so much - literally can't bear it.

Have you seen "In the Loop" where the US Senator/Congressman dislikes swearing, saying for example, "He's an S star star T."

At the end of the film, Malcolm Tucker says to him: "You are such a boring Fuck. Oh sorry, you don't like swearing, do you? You are such a boring F star star CUNT!" Made me so very much.