To love swearing...

[McSnail]

I quite enjoy swearing (time and place allowing) It can be quite hilarious (think Malcolm Tucker from The Thick of It)and it really doesn't offend me when done properly, iykwim.

One of the things I like about Mumsnet is that posters aren't treated like teenage miscreants - no words are censored, you can say what you like (more or less) and many a time I've found myself spraying coffee all over my screen at some foul-mouthed turn of phrase...

I use another forum (not a parenting one) and it REALLY pisses me off when words are blanked out by the cat's- bum- mouth swear filter. We can't even say 'tit'.

Ah, yes WingedVictory, "Putain"! It is spat at the recipient. One cannot help but sneer as it's said!

I do love swearing.

Bugger is, I feel, safe for work. It's just marvelous. Satisfying, yet not too offensive. Almost endearing.

Fuck is simply glorious. I slipped at work t'other day, and shouted "fuckfuckfuck" on the way down, followed by "whatthefuckwasthat!?" from the floor. That was quite in front of lots of newborn babies & mummies.

I really must curb my in-car tourettes though!

Also since I feel crudeness & swearing go hand in hand, I like to ask someone who is being unreasonably moody 'who put sand in your vagina?' man or woman it works, generally makes them laugh & lightens the mood.

Waaaaa Haaaaa Haaaaa, what a fabulous thread. laughed lots reading thru them all.
Swearing is fanbloodytastic and i fucking love it!! (time and place natch)

I keep coming back to this thread as I am desperate to see more swearing. Sad, sad, sad. I need cheering up, given a whiny child, a friend to collect from the station for lunch so can't get the DS to bed before, and a hard bang to my head from the corner of the cupboard (which ought to have bloody corner cushions like the fume hood over our sodding hob!).

ARSE.

Dawnus - I like "who pissed in your cornflakes?"

I forgot Bloodybuggerbollocks! Is another favourite of mine.

You knwo the words you say the most because they are the first ones your children use absetmindedly..My son recently dropped something and said "Oh Chrrrist!"

Ooops.

Oh blasphemous terms used are
"Jesus wept!"
and
"Christ on a bike!"

I have substituted "shine a light" for my favourite "shite" since becoming a parent. It tends to be elongated as I recover "shi.........ne a light"!

YANBU by the way!

I have a friend who refers to obnoxious people as a "wank stain that should have been left on the sheet". Pretty well sums up some people I have met!

My Dad favoured "sack of shit in a cheap suit" for the same kinds of people.

YABU

I dont mind if people swear amongst themselves or in their own space but i cant stand it in the street or when there are people around you know dont like it. My friends know i dont like it so try not to swear around me but i dont mind if they let it slip. I just thinks it's ridiculous to swear in public.

Tucker's Law

YANBU swearing is great. And I never knew so many swear words before I came on MN .

WingedVictory "putain" is one of the best, my husband is bilingual and spits that out at all sorts of inanimate objects, plus other drivers, under his breath all the time. DCs are not that willing to talk back to him in French but I foresee this may be one of the first things they bother to repeat.

Swearing is big and clever. I love it. Picked up some nice ones here but I love using buggeryfuck and fuckwittage.

Malcolm Tucker is my hero. I nearly peed my pants when he said someone had just laid a big egg of fuck. Arf.

Quote:

"YABU
I dont mind if people swear amongst themselves or in their own space but i cant stand it in the street or when there are people around you know dont like it."

That's why I said, 'Time and place allowing", meltedchocolate.

Loving some of these swears, btw.

I love bumfuck! -the word ahem
I say it quite often i.e. "My dear, I'd rather live in the arsendofnowhere that this bumfuck town"

I like some of the replacements that a couple of forums use if a swear word is used.
eg, if you write FUCK, it comes back at you as Crappity Smack, which has quite a ring to it.
Pussy comes back as girl thingy.
Cock comes back as golly gosh - but this is on a poultry forum (how sad am I) and can cause confusion
You can't beat a good fucking swear now and again.

Agree totally with 'Time and place'.

And here it is...

BuggeryBollocks
FucketyFuck

and a personal favourite: DuckFucker.

I was born swearing, I reckon! I don't look like a fishwife but I certainly (can) sound like one, if angry or frustrated enough. Swearing is incredibly liberating - fuck, shit, damnation, bloody hell, you asshole, fuck-face, etc really help me to get rid of road rage, for ex. In front of dc I try to limit myself to sugar, sugaring plums, fiddlesticks, caca... lol

Except recently I rang someone while driving (naughty but was emergency as was caught in traffic & late for picking up dc) & had to put the phone down suddenly as some jerk wouldn't let me in. I rang off, or at least I thought I had, and let forth a veritable barrage of every swear word I know (& even some I didn't know I knew only to realise that I hadn't actually rung off & my neighbor, who has never sworn in her life, I'm sure, had heard the entire thing. It was so embarrassing that I almost, but not quite, gave up swearing for good.

Hmm... that was long-winded!

I said twonk in a mildly posh hotel yesterday and received a blank look.

I also got drunk in Loch Fyne and asked if the reason the crab was off was because it was minging and then decided to offer a full discussion on definition and useage of the word minging (ok, not a swear word but still...)to the waiter. DP and I fell out over that one and has refused to take me there again.

Fucking Bastard.

I fucking love it.

I've just about peed myself watching Tuckers Law - thanks for that BalloonSlayer.
That may now in fact overtake my most favourite swearing scene to date, which is Begbie in trainspotting. Strange though, as I never use the c-word myself (see, I can't even type it!!)

cunt as a verb! oh and 'shit and abortions'
both donated by friends x

I like my name

When stressed at someone, usually whilst driving, shit-bollocks-bastard-fucking-wankstain often pops out.

I thought I had curbed my language in front of DS, but realised that I hadn't, especially after he started saying 'shit' at 2yrs . But at that time that was all I said.

A few weeks ago, just before his 5th birthday I am sure I heard him say "fuck it" when I couldn't find a parking space. I asked him what he had said. He looked very sheepish and then the cunning little mite said "I said bucket"!!!

tbh, I actually don't use cunt in spoken language. But written down it doesn't seem so harsh

I think I've found my spiritual home in this thread. I love a good - not quite as occasional as I'd like - swear.

We had friends over at the weekend, and when one of them was regaling us with a story of woe about bad service in a shop, I said supportively 'It's just crap when...' (a pretty minor swear word in my book). Cue looks at me and pointed looks at the chidren 2x 2yo, 2x 4 yo. I did feel a bit . Even more so when I had to explain that our little ones now know that there are 'mummy words' that they know they're not to repeat .

So - is it ever acceptable to swear in front of (not AT, obviously) someone else's children?

okay, I know it's not. I was just hoping!

I think if something appalling happens, like one of them falls down a manhole, then yes

Excellent thread. Personally I like a good shout of 'Bollocks' on occassion. It fits so well when you have dropped/kicked/fell over/walked into something.

For Fucks Sake is an oft shouted phrase in this house too. If I'm good and remembering I have neighbours and children in earshot I can just about remember to change it into 'for goodness sake' but it just doesn't cut it I'm afraid!

To me bloody and crap aren't swear words and I do use these in front of the kids.

One of my favourite put-downs (not that I've ever had the nerve to use it) is saying "Just because you look like a cunt doesn't mean you have to act like one". Normally said when I've just been cut up in the car.