To love swearing...

[McSnail]

I quite enjoy swearing (time and place allowing) It can be quite hilarious (think Malcolm Tucker from The Thick of It)and it really doesn't offend me when done properly, iykwim.

One of the things I like about Mumsnet is that posters aren't treated like teenage miscreants - no words are censored, you can say what you like (more or less) and many a time I've found myself spraying coffee all over my screen at some foul-mouthed turn of phrase...

I use another forum (not a parenting one) and it REALLY pisses me off when words are blanked out by the cat's- bum- mouth swear filter. We can't even say 'tit'.

Totally brilliant swear-orama here

3:01 onwards.

Almost Tucker-worthy!

There is something enjoyable about it, especially if like me you hardly ever swere. My work colegues find it hillarious if I do because I'm usually quite prim and propper. If it's done well it can be very funny.
People who use it as an every day word and in every other sentence are just scummy IMHO.
Oh and I never, ever sware or use profanaties in front of my daughter, as I'd be heartbroken if I heard her swear in her sweet little voice.

Ooh we tend to go the way of the fuck too. My most common one is For Fucks Sake! and Fucking Hell of course. Also fuckpig, fuckwit, cockchops (my DH), dickhead, cock, cockend, knobrot, fanny, bellend, Shut the fuck up!! (dog barking at every single outdoor sound)i am certain there are tons more.
We do use doofus and moron as non- swear words but it has to be in jest if its within the family Also the odd Dick and Dom made up swear like Dirty Badger or Sloppy Flap Crackers. Or, indeed, Nanny Nob Nobs

Farscape (TV SF of mid-2000s) made-up swearing can be good too. "Frelling" and so on.

DH caught me shouting 'what the blistering bollocky fuck are you doing' at the computer last night. I love swearing. But 'blimey' and 'cripes' are most often heard when DS is around/awake.

Not a question of loving or hating it. Any more than I love or hate any other normal and essential activity. I am prepared to accept that many people are offended and I will always bear context in mind.

BTW swearing does not show a limited vocabulary. Or a lack of imagination. Claims that are frequently made by those who live their lives sans-oath. I have a very wide vocabulary and an incredibly vivid imagination but there is nothing more satisfying than a well-timed and preferably inappropriate 'bollocks'.

UQD - I suggested 'frelling' and 'fracking' as substitutes to DH once, but because he knows what they mean he doesn't want to hear DS say them either

Fanny Bollocks and Arsehat are my favrites of the moment, although not so great when in Panto rehersals last night iswor loudly on stage, it was a big tech and dress rehersal and everything was so proper, i have just had an op on my hand and i fell off a bench on stage and hurt myself i shouted 'oh Shitbags' quite loudly, luckily our director has a sense of humour......

Arthur Smith is very good on the myth that swearing is symptomatic of a limited vocabulary.

I think I probably swear too much - fo example

Taking to ds (2.5) about the rain, asked him what we say to make the rain go away. (was thinking "rain rain go away come back another day")

His reply?

Rain, PISS OFF.

I do love a good swear. Am desperately trying not to do it in front of DS (1.10) but I fail miserably when in the car. This morning's commentary went something like this:

"oh come on then you fucking dick, you're halfway out already.."

"oh jesus fucking christ you idiot fucking prick.."

"no no don't worry arsehole we'll all fucking wait for you while you decide which pissing turning you want...."

"oh for fucks sake. Are you cocking kidding me..."

I do try to mutter it at least. And he hasn't said any of it yet (and he's saying quite a lot..)

Mumofapickle - I'm afraid you're kidding yourself there - you'll be mumofacockingpottymouth before you know it

geordieminx!
And I've added a few juicy ones to my already very long swearing vocab list thanks to this thread. I'm looking (over horn-rimmed spectacles) at you nannynobnobs. And the Tucker link has had me sniggering all afternoon.
It's all amunition for the swearing conversations DH and I have where we try to pack as many swearing insults into each sentance as possible. It's our idea of fun now we've moved to the country . After the little ones are tucked up in bed, of course.

PerArduaAdNauseum - nope, it really doesn't follow. My little ones seem to have just picked up the idea that there are 'mummy words' and other words, and that they really must never, ever say 'mummy words'. ...although I'm expecting a torrent when they hit 15 years old.

Oh I do love a good FUCK - but only in private......

I don't swear when others are around - not very classy.

I overheard this shouted on Union Street in Aberdeen at pub-closing time and almost wet myself laughing:

"Aye! CUNTY-BAWS!!! Ah heard yew think yewr hard as FUCK!!!Hard? HAAAAARD????? Ah've SHAT harder things than yeeeew, yew skittery wee SHITE!!"

swearing in RL is very common...

it's ok on here...but only in small doses.

I LOVE swearing. However, I heard dd (nearly 2) say 'bum' when she dropped something yesterday so I have decided to try to stop naughty words in front of her from now on in case she comes out with something worse (because it will be embarrassing and people will think I'm a bad mother. It probably would make me snigger a bit as well though).

The non-swearing reminded me of the old Harry Enfield (or Fast Show?) sketch;
"You fun my wife? You fun my wife you muddyfunster??"

Bessie, you are much nicer than me! I've taken to saying 'oh, bum!' when I drop something on my foot and ds is around in order to avoid saying something worse...

Watching The Thick of It has a really bad effect on me, I have to hold myself back from using a string of swearwords the next day.

I have never written a swear word on the internet and never will and never in public, in front of children or women.

However, I used to swear all day long when I worked on a trading desk in the City. It was part of the culture and I still swear at my computers now I do it from home.

There is a town near here called Whaley Bridge which works very well at volume in situations when you know you really musn't swear.

aw, Abetadad, bless your cotton socks. But I'm not sure a halo really suits you.

Do you always give up your seat to ladies? Hold open doors? All the other gentlemanly stuff? Or is it just swearing? (Hint - giving up seats/opening doors etc. etc. earns brownie points.)

YANBFU