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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that ginger hair

325 replies

Vallhala · 18/11/2009 23:51

is the most beautiful colour and those with it shouldn't be bullied or taken the micky out of but praised instead?

My twelve year old daughter has been bullied at school for the colour of her hair, so much so that she wants to dye it. This is breaking my heart as her hair colour is absolutely gorgeous, a golden red, and she should be proud of it. She's so upset by the bullying and she feels alone and "different".

So, come on all you redheads and Mums of redheaded children - don't you think that red hair is simply stunning? I want to show her that you might get unkind comments as a child by the ignorant people (she's been called a "ginger C" amongst other things) but when you grow up you realise how much good attention ginger hair gets you and how pretty it is.

OP posts:
Ronaldinhio · 24/11/2009 22:16

vallhala
totally missed that this wasn't a piss take as I was pissed
so so sorry

i was a "sovereign" coloured child
my dd1 is a light ginger
my dh has a ginger beard
we are irish with many gingers in the fold and we are all gorgeous, different from the norm, high achieving and love our red headedness...much the same as your dd will end up I imagine.
Small minded poeple always try to find something to try to tarish beautiful things, please let her know that this will pass.

I'm so sorry I'm only seeing this now
sorry, sorry, sorry
(in my drunken state thought it was like the Catherine Tate sanctuary thing..so wrong, so sorry)

meltedchocolate · 24/11/2009 22:22

My DH is ginger. How much i wanted our baby to be...

When you are younger ginger hair is mocked but is loved as an adult

pinkteddy · 24/11/2009 23:25

madamearcati - I don't know what you mean? I think the people in those photos look stunning!

Original poster
Vallhala · 24/11/2009 23:34

Ronaldinhio, no need to apologise. I was pmsl!

I think you're very gracious though.

OP posts:
abbierhodes · 24/11/2009 23:42

Only read the first few posts, but can I recommend a book? It's called "Bullies, bigmouths and so-called friends" I don't know the author, sorry, but I've worked with a lot of teenagers who have been bullied. This book gives practical ways of dealing with it, and helps to boost their self esteem.

And red hair is the most beautiful. The losers bullying your daughter are just jealous!

thumbwitch · 25/11/2009 00:40

pinkteddy, are you sure you think the men with weirdy beards look stunning? really? Don't misunderstand me, I have nothing against men with red hair (especially not Julian Rhind Tutt in Green Wing)or red beards, but she sure chose some weird-looking ones for her exhibition.

Nicotinic · 25/11/2009 00:50

As a redhead with a redheaded son; I had some horrific bullying as a child. I can honestly say that I love my hair colour now, and the bullying has made it so that being ginger and proud is part of my identity (which sounds terrible when written down!)

Dying it really doesn't help - it makes the teasing worse - "What are you hiding?" and similar.

When she is old enough, let her listen to Tim Minchin's song "Prejudice" - I have an edited version my 5 year old sings (without all the rude bits in!) and he adores singing it.

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied · 25/11/2009 06:07

I haven't read all of these posts but wanted to show my support.

I have red hair, my DS has red hair and my family do. DP's family don't like red hair so they insist DS is 'blonde' which really upsets me. They don't say this now and again, they say it EVERY time they see me They often take the mickey out of gingers.

I love my hair and I love his hair. I have dyed my hair for the first time ever at the moment and I don't feel like me.

Please don't let her dye it. If she was getting bullied because of skin colour she couldn't bleach/darken her skin. Why should she have to change her beautiful hair for stupid people.

I don't even get what the big deal is? Yes it is a colour of hair.

It's like taking the michael because someone has brown eyes.

madamearcati · 25/11/2009 11:08

Pinkteddy -well beauty is in the eye of the beholder I guess ! And at a push No9 is Ok and no 4 .
But that baby freaks me out.Sorry!

SelinaKyle · 22/07/2011 13:37

I have bright red hair and was bullied mercilessly at school for it. Even now I will get comments along the lines of how I must have a stinking temper/be dynamite in bed solely based on my hair colour. To me this is a form of racism and until it's treated as such it will always be considered to be the "acceptable face" of racism. I remember Chris Evans donated a significant amount of money to Ken Livingstone's Mayoral campaign. Frank Dobson who was standing against Livingstone responded by saying "My mum told me never to trust ginger people". Now just try substituting the word "Ginger" with any other word and see how it works? Had he said that about black people, asian people, people with disabilities, etcetera his resignation would have been on Tony Blair's desk the next morning.

Now I always say the same thing to redheaded children that I see at the school gates or whatever, "You have beautiful hair and don't let anybody ever tell you any different".

SelinaKyle · 22/07/2011 13:38

Oh and my EX husband even once told me that if I had a redheaded aries girl he was going to put her back... ha ha funny fucking joke... oh and when I was researching selling my eggs on the internet "You'll need to offer a ginger discount"... can you see why he's my EX husband?

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 22/07/2011 13:51

I have ginger hair and got teased mericlessly when I was young. Then when I reached late teens suddenly everyone started saying how lucky I was to have such lovely ginger hairHmm I hated it when I was young, just wanted to be a boring brown like othersSad

When my SIL was pregnant with their first dc they were joking about hoping they didn't have a ginger babyHmm I never saw the humour myself and both I and Dh were proud as punch when ds1 was born ginger. Being ginger myself, it's nice to keep the gene going.

DS1 is the most wonderful shade of bright ginger, real carrot colour. I adore his colouring, blue eyes, pale skin, freckles and this mop of bright ginger hair. He's only 8 and has had a little bit of teasing but nothing serious yet. It will break my heart if he does get seriously teased for it. He is such a quiet, sensitive little boy, I don't know how he would copeSad

Psammead · 22/07/2011 13:55

This thread is older than my DD Shock

I remember it when it first came round.

worraliberty · 22/07/2011 14:09

Why don't MNHQ lock threads when they haven't been posted on for say a year or so?

That way people can still read them..or even link to them but at least they can't resurrect them Hmm

valiumredhead · 22/07/2011 14:11

Selina If you said that to my ds he would think you were a nutter! Talk about how to give a kid a complex if they didn't have one already!

TobyLerone · 22/07/2011 14:17

Poor thing :(

She probably won't appreciate her hair until she's an adult. I didn't. But she really will love it when she's older. Guaranteed.

TobyLerone · 22/07/2011 14:18

Oh, bugger! Must look at the date!

sellcrazysomeplaceelse · 22/07/2011 14:23

YANBU. Red hair is utterly stunning, and it mystifies me why there is a culture in this country that is so prejudiced against red heads. All my great loves, including DH, have been red heads. Red hair with green eyes is my favourite combination, it is just so, so beautiful. I'm a bit sad my DCs have got my dark colouring, I'd have loved them to be a bit more like their dad.

feckymcfeckedoff · 22/07/2011 14:23

As a fully paid up member of the ginger club I have to say I didn't like my red curly hair as a teen, who does? So I dyed it all sorts of colours, pink, blue, green, black, shaved bits off and had dreadlocks too. It took until I was in my mid 2Os to appreciate what I'd got and thankfuuly it' still red in my mid 40s. If your daughter wants to change just because of the bullying then try to support her through that, but if she fancies a change then let her go for it, the red will always be there underneath for when she's ready for it.

JanMorrow · 22/07/2011 14:26

I love having red hair, the only thing I don't like is burning like a biaaatch in the sun after about 1 minute. I never really got bullied, just a few "ginger" comments but they're all like totally jealzo now. IN YOUR FACE.

noddyholder · 22/07/2011 14:28

I have red hair and it is always commented on esp by the opposite sex which was fun when I was younger. I have never understood the negative attitudes most redheads I see are gorgeous Wink!

Riveninside · 22/07/2011 14:28

Neither of my green eyed ginger children have everr been bullied. Bot once about their hair.

stretch · 22/07/2011 14:28

Why the hell should it not be ressurected? Perhaps by the title it could have old thread but we are free to post on whichever threads we choose.

BlueKangaroo22 · 22/07/2011 14:30

Me and my DP have blonde hair, but DP does get ginger in his beard when it grows long, and our daughter was born with the most gorgeous shade of strawberry blonde. Lots of it too. :)

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 22/07/2011 14:31

I love red hair!

Actually, since this thread has come up again, it's a good place to mention that horid henry film that is being advertised.

Now, in the cartoon and books, henry is a redhead.

But this film - brown hair.

Is that 'gingerism'?

I just wonder why they made such a change, instead of keeping to the character.

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