Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that ginger hair

325 replies

Vallhala · 18/11/2009 23:51

is the most beautiful colour and those with it shouldn't be bullied or taken the micky out of but praised instead?

My twelve year old daughter has been bullied at school for the colour of her hair, so much so that she wants to dye it. This is breaking my heart as her hair colour is absolutely gorgeous, a golden red, and she should be proud of it. She's so upset by the bullying and she feels alone and "different".

So, come on all you redheads and Mums of redheaded children - don't you think that red hair is simply stunning? I want to show her that you might get unkind comments as a child by the ignorant people (she's been called a "ginger C" amongst other things) but when you grow up you realise how much good attention ginger hair gets you and how pretty it is.

OP posts:
carabos · 22/07/2011 14:36

DS2 is a proud ginger - he knows he's one in a hundred and that he's special. His friends tease him in a loving way and he thrives on the attention. Wherever we go abroad people comment positively on his colouring, especially if its somewhere where people tend to be more homogenous. Kids will always pick up on anything a bit different, and it is sad when that turns negative.

Pixieonabroomstick · 22/07/2011 14:40

I spent most of the last year dying my hair "ginger". I loved it , other people loved it and many assumed it was natural.
Im slowly going back to blonde now , my natural colour but sometimes still miss my strawberry blondness.

CotesduRhone · 22/07/2011 14:44

I find it so sad. Bullies will always pick on something, of course. I dislike the word 'ginger' though, because there's a whole spectrum of gorgeous red-headedness. My lovely SIL is a stunning redhead and I am quite sorry my nephew is more auburn, he would be gorgeous with red hair.

I absolutely adore Viking-y red-haired men with beards, I think I went through a half-dozen of them, one after another, when I was a teenager. Much easier to do here in Ireland! Grin

One of my auburn friends is pregnant at the moment, and her partner is a terribly sexy redhead, we are so hoping they'll have a beautiful red-headed baby.

I simply don't understand where this 'ginger hatred' came from. It has started to spread in Ireland too, whereas years ago it wouldn't have caused anyone a second thought.

itisnearlysummer · 22/07/2011 14:51

My DS has red hair. A gorgeous dark strawberry blonde. I would love hair that colour! He has everything from dark auburn to white blonde hair. I've never seen such 'multitones'. He wears it shoulder length because it would be a sin to cut it!

People have tried to tease him about it, but he always gets in their first and when he went to secondary school people told him how cool it was.

His friends love it, we can spot him in a crowd and everyone comments on it.

He's beautfiul!

I'm soooo jealous!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/07/2011 14:52

I think these threads are a bit artificial really; of course a parent is going to rave on about their child and its eye colour, hair colour and so on, especially if it's a colour that is often mocked. Lots of physical attributes are mocked - glasses, different colour eyes, freckles, being thin, being fat, being tall, being short... it's all part of growing up. Lots of people don't like ginger hair, so what? Lots of people love ginger hair, so what?

I don't see much benefit myself in going overboard to bolster a child's ego about their hair colour or whatever else is being mocked. I think a no-nonsense approach is better really. If somebody comments on a physical attribute, why can't the response just be, "It's a hair colour, so what?". If people stopped rising to the bait of the jibes, they'd stop.

Bullying during schooltime is something else but it's in the nature of most kids to call names at some point. If the worst they can call you is something to do with your physical makeup and not something defective about your character, I'd say that's a 'win'. You can't zoom back and forth to the school just because somebody's made a joke about your DC's hair. Where it isn't a case of bullying, kids need to develop a little bit of a tougher skin and not blow stupid comments up in their minds as something even bigger.

Adults don't generally call people names, it's a 'kid thing'.

itisnearlysummer · 22/07/2011 14:59

I think you're right, to a point, LyingWitchInTheWardrobe, unfortunately, I think ginger hair is one of the few things some adults think they can still take the piss out of.

CotesduRhone · 22/07/2011 15:02

I agree, the number of adults I've pulled up really stroppily for insulting red-haired people is just ridiculous.

CotesduRhone · 22/07/2011 15:02

Ooooh, my first strikethrough! Grin Sorry, I'm being lame, I can't imagine how excited I'll be when I give someone my first biscuit.

worraliberty · 22/07/2011 15:05

I don't think anyone's said people aren't free to post where they want to stretch?

LyingWitch I totally agree and most kids don't believe people when they 'gush' about how lovely anything is...they think the adult is just saying that to make them feel better.

A more neutral approach is probably better.

valiumredhead · 22/07/2011 15:06

Actually the only negative comments towards ds's 'gingerness' haas been from adults.

issey6cats · 22/07/2011 16:21

as others have said i hated my light red hair when i was at school due to the name calling (still hate the term ginger, its strawberry blonde), my mom said all the women pay pounds to try to get your colour hair, didnt belive her wanted lovely long black hair like the asian girls, never happened obviously, now is a different matter most people love my hair and iv efoun that by having some blonde highlights in it enhances the red parts of my hair, would it be an idea to let her have a few blonde highlights, its fuuny though i work at a cat rescue and the ginger kits are always the first to go to new homes because everyone perceives ginger cats as been georgous

startail · 22/07/2011 16:39

withinthewardrobe a) relentlessly being taunted about sometime you can not change is sole destroying for some children.
b) Toughening up can have unfortunate consequences. The older girls at a friends DDs school have all been told by their parents "Toughen up and ignore Xs nastiness". The head now has a several irate parents to deal with, because X has turned on the infants instead.

theminky · 22/07/2011 16:40

My baby has red hair and he is a stunner! People are forever commenting on how beautiful he is and I totally agree - ginger rocks

pingu2209 · 22/07/2011 16:45

There are different shades of red. There is the beautiful strawberry blond. The rich alburn. However, there is also the bright orange. All those red shades are natural and as God intended us to be (it would be very boring if we were all the same). Yet, just as some of us prefer blonds to brunets, bright orange hair is not an attractive shade of red in my opinion.

Solo · 22/07/2011 16:45

I had 3 red haired boyfriends as a teen and I loved their locks...

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/07/2011 16:46

Some people would pay a lot of money at the hairdressers to get ginger hair; a lot of people wouldn't. The same as for black hair, blonde hair, brown hair. It's all down to personal preference. It's fine for people to have a preference for one colour hair over another. There have been quite a few comments about 'blondes' on this thread. Men prefer whatever colour they prefer, each is different, no universal 'best'. I get the impression that some just say 'the right thing' for a quiet life.

If ginger hair is really considered beautiful then there is no need to keep trying to 'sell it'. It sounds very false. The sort of thing you'd say to a child that receives an encyclopaedia for their birthday when what they really wanted was an airplane. Is there a need for that? Kids are not stupid as Worra says. It's a bit patronising, I think.

One of my dogs is orange, he's beautiful. I don't go around referring to him as 'strawberry blonde' or somesuch. He is what he is and I couldn't care less if he was sky-blue-pink. I don't have kids with ginger hair but, whilst it wouldn't be my personal favourite colour hair, I'd barely notice as it's my child. I'd be more concerned at the colouring that goes with ginger hair (sun sensitive), but the colour is really immaterial. I think that's the message that needs to be repeated, not endless platitudes.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/07/2011 16:53

Startail... If you're talking about 'relentless taunting', that probably falls under the remit of the school needing to tackle it (if it's happening at school). It's no good to keep telling a child that everyone else is wrong at not liking a hair colour because you don't have control of them. I'd be telling my child, "There's room for everybody, with every colour of hair, eyes, skin, whatever. Accept them as they are and they will accept you". If a child is being taunted then that is to be addressed until they stop.

In your second point, are you saying that X child cannot now bully the girls she was taunting because they are now sticking up for themselves and that X must now resort to going down a level to the next class for victims? If the Head is allowing it then there is something wrong there. X should be being tackled. If I've misunderstood your point then I apologise but it doesn't detract from the good advice that the first lot of girls received to ignore 'X's nastiness', it's spot on advice.

ramade · 22/07/2011 17:10

The other day we were in the car (hot day, traffic jam) , when a woman turns the corner (wearing nothing special) with long (very long) ginger hair. Both of us stopped talking and looked at her. It was THE most beautiful hair I've ever seen. She was walking along in a serene calm way with all this hair, I remember thinking "bloody hell her hair looks beautiful!".

Tchootnika · 22/07/2011 17:13

Yep, ginger hair is extremely beautiful.

pigletmania · 22/07/2011 17:18

There is a teenage girl next door with Ginger hair, she is so pretty. Lots of lovely long Ginger hair. The documentary this week about Kellie a girl with a facial disfigurement, she had beautiful Ginger hair, was very pretty and a lovely persinality

joric · 22/07/2011 17:26

Vallhala
my DD ( blonde ) absolutely loves red/ auburn/ ginger hair and wants hers to be that colour- she says it is beautiful.
The most beautiful person I know has red hair and my DD is transfixed - insists on brushing my friend's hair whenever she visits. My friend is v kind and humours lets her!!

joric · 22/07/2011 17:28

Ramade :)

TimeWasting · 22/07/2011 17:32

Riven, weren't your kids mainly home-educated? Of course they weren't bullied! Grin

Lyingwitch, ginger-bullying is totally different to just some people's dislike. I remember being at a party, rough part of town, and two of our friends who happened to be ginger had to stay upstairs as they genuinely didn't feel safe.

It's only as an adult that DH was able to embrace what is the most glorious coloured hair I've ever seen. Ginger, bearded, pale and slim. He's my golden god. Smile

Funtimewincies · 22/07/2011 17:34

Another ginger fan Grin. Ds2 (19 months) has fabulous fiery ginger hair and we get a lot of comments ranging from 'isn't it brilliant' to 'never mind, poor love' Hmm.

FreudianSlipper · 22/07/2011 17:37

ds has beautiful golden ginger hair. it is not red, ginger or strawberry blond and now has lovely blond highlights in (natural) and he has very big dark brown eyes. he is beautiful :o

it was orange when he was born, strangely the lighter it goes the less comments he gets on how lovely his hair is and i think it is a nicer colour now as it is so unusual