to think that ginger hair

[Vallhala]

is the most beautiful colour and those with it shouldn't be bullied or taken the micky out of but praised instead?

My twelve year old daughter has been bullied at school for the colour of her hair, so much so that she wants to dye it. This is breaking my heart as her hair colour is absolutely gorgeous, a golden red, and she should be proud of it. She's so upset by the bullying and she feels alone and "different".

So, come on all you redheads and Mums of redheaded children - don't you think that red hair is simply stunning? I want to show her that you might get unkind comments as a child by the ignorant people (she's been called a "ginger C" amongst other things) but when you grow up you realise how much good attention ginger hair gets you and how pretty it is.

I really should know better and leave this alone, but here goes. You used the word despise, that expresses a far stronger feeling than a simple preference.

I don't regard it as a 'crime' to have an opinion, but at the risk of repeating myself, on a thread where parents of red haired children are responding, you are likely to find some opposition to your views.

I think both my children are beautiful, of course,I am their Mum. I also happen to think more importantly that they are wonderful people, perhaps I don't set such a store on looks as you do.

We will have to agree to differ on this matter, the tone and quantity of your posts suggests you feel rather 'got at', I apologise if I have made you feel this way, I simply have a different view from you.

My dad was a flaming red-head, with a temper to match. He hated being called "Ginjy" as a child and would retaliate with both fists and a very sharp tongue. (He now has just a little grey hair, still has a temper, but has far better slef-control, LOL)

At that time, in E Europe where he was born, red-heads were very rare and it was definitely considered a bad thing as it was believed that Judas had been a red-head.

In his teens he emigrated to Israel and got one of many culture-shocks: ginger was good! People would call him "Ginjy" as a compliment and girls flocked after him, totally wowed by his red hair.

Dh and I deliberately call our ds1 "ginger" and similar names, so that he won't feel that ginger is an insult or a bad thing to be. OMG I can hardly think of a handsomer child or colour of hair! (Except, perhaps, brown...like my other dc )

Agree with KurriKurri
A mothers love should be unconditional. You are right, I don't know how you parent but I do know that you come on a parenting forum telling the world you despise the colour of your childs hair.

Poor child.

I understand how horrible it is as a child. I was really tall too so stood out both ways. However, these days I would do anything to have my ginger status back. My hair has got darker and darker over the years. I was really upset the other day to be told I had BROWN hair.

Tell your daughter to hold her head high and be proud. I am now the odd one out in a family of ginger hair.

Kuri, its o.k. yes I do feel got at. But I guess that is my stupidity for posting on a thread about redheads.
"I think both my children are beautiful, of course,I am their Mum. I also happen to think more importantly that they are wonderful people, perhaps I don't set such a store on looks as you do."
I love my children immensely. I do think they are nice people. ds1 is a sweetie, he can also be a pain.
if you read back on my posts, i also mention that dS2, (who is the one who is ginger), is a total poppet. a real smiler. loads of people comment on what a sweetie he is, many of the mums on the school run love him. as do it. he is a very nice looking boy. he is lovely looking. he is only 1. saying all that you are wrong. actually i don't place that much importance on looks. dh and i are no stunners thats for sure !!!
yes, he has ginger hair. i an not keen on it.

but it doesn't take over my life. my perception of him. if i made it sound on this thread that it does, then i have worded my feeelings wrongly.

waiting , you really jump to conclusions don't you.

I love my son unconditionally. yeah o.k. I'm not that keen on ginger hair.

I LOVE MY SON UNCONDITIONALLY.

O.K.

I love my sons.

Oblomov - where did I ask you to apologise to other mums ?!

No, you didn't ask me to. I wasn't responding to you, as if you had.
I was just saying that I am not apologising for not liking something.
I didn't like it before. before i had children. its just the way it is.

My daughter has my DHs sticky out ears. I wish she didn't but I don't despise them. I suspect it was the use of that word, usually reserved for strong feelings of disgust that has caused the reaction.
However, when my son was born I was glad he was blonde, not because I hate red hair on boys, but because I do think people are harder on Ginger boys than girls ( as you have proved!)

o.k. maybe the word was too strong. sorry. maybe it would have sitted better with you all if I had just said, i really don't like it.

I posted on another thread today:
"I think flim has a point. sometimes someone has a valid point. but they phrase it badly and then the only thing that is discussed is the words used rather than what the person has to say.
Coming from a bad 'phraser' myself."

How apt that now seems.

Actually this is the thing. I wonder if we did a mn survey. do you have a trait/physical thing that you really don't like, maybe about yourself that you hoped your child wouldn't inheret.
Do you have sticky out ears, a big nose, wirey hair, etc etc. how did you feel/ were you disappointed that your child did inheret these characteristics.

I think lots of people would say they were.

ob, my dh was ginger, and grows a ginger beard.

i am not allowed to say dd4 is ginger in front of him. he hates it. but she is really. and getting more redder every day.

I have to respond to this......

My dd is a strawberry blond and that is not me trying to run away from the red head label, she truly is as she has streaks of blond in her red hair that looks like she has highlights, she is 2.

Myself I am a redhead naturally but for several years have been a blond.

Recently I showed my dd a photo of me when she was a baby and i had red hair, because during pregnancy i did not have it coloured, and dd did not recognise me. Therefore, I have chosen now to revert back to being red so that we can be reds together so she can see I am not ashamed of being a red head.

Also a mum asked me the other day how I felt about the Catherine Tate sketch about redheads. Myself I was 50/50 because I was bullied at school for my hair and this sketch hit a nerve but also I thought it had an element of joke in it to be funny.... how do others feel about this sketch?

ok my hair and dd4's

interesting article in the guardian about ginger prejudice. If you click on simply red under pictures there are some stunning photos of red heads.

Right, I haven't read all the threads but I have to say this -

Oblomov, how dare can you compare ginger hair to warts on noses? I could understand your regret that your DS is ginger if it is because you feared he will be bullied as my DD is, but your comment is very unkind.

I have an extra weapon in the celeb stakes, which I've just been reminded of. One of my contacts in the charity work I do is a beautiful woman with long red hair. She's also a rock singer in a band well known in our area, who has performed with Pink, a performer my DDs love. I'm going to remind DD of this lady tomorrow and show her some pictures of M's stunning red locks. I think that the combination of the music connection, the lady's prettiness and that she works alongside me in a charitable capacity which DD also is passionate about may well be a good thing.

Also, come on ladies, what do you think of the idea of me having my hair coloured in a similar shade to DDs? i'm naturally very pale, was a strawberry blonde until age/pregnancy/cancer took their toll and am now a blondish colour in summer with red tints and a dark blonde/mouse with a touch of light red in winter. Will it help DD? Will I look like a total freak? Will I love it?

Or will as DD (14) said may happen, the bullies from school who know us as we all live in a small town continue to call DD1 a ginger cunt and just call me one too, so adding to DD1s distres rather than making her feel less alone?

dunno Vallhala, that's a tricky one. I mean, the lowest form of response would be "I'd rather have a ginger c*t than just be a c*t like you" but clearly that is deeply unhelpful.

one of my cousins said I was foxy and stank of piss - now you see, that's just basic bollox - and I was fairly brutal in my response (but he was a cousin so I could be )

I think showing some solidarity with your DD would be ok; and pointing out that many of the twats she has to consort with are likely to be dying their hair some shade of red in the future will help too; plus finding all these great red-headed role models!

You could join the ginger nation; you could also let her read this article from a couple of years ago; you could also look at the red and proud website.

I doubt the red gene will die out, any more than the Rh negative blood type gene will die out (also a recessive gene). And nor should it! It's ridiculous that a few bullies' petty-minded bigotry should be allowed to continue without check.

I have red (ginger) hair. I was not bullied really at school, I can't believe people would call your daughter those names. I tend to play up the stereotype that I have red hair and a bad temper, so no-one dare say anything!!

You have to adopt an attitude and mine has been, I like being different, who wants to be like those thick, stupid c**ts anyway. I have never dyed my hair for those reasons.

i have to say as I got older I got lots of attention from older men who thought that red heads were 'wild'. Not so flattering and annoying.

I find slurs make me mad inside, but I don't let it show at all, as that is what they look for. Be proud to be different, think Christina Hendricks!!

Pinkteddy - I don't think those photos help your cause.

the bearded ones in the photos certainly aren't the greatest! However, the children are lovely, that little baby in the main article is so sweet.

I saw a tv show the other night here in Australia and discovered a "new" term for redheads - one of the people on the panel was a ginger (although you couldn't really tell because he had the really short hair of the embarrassedly-balding man) and someone from the audience thought how hilarious it would be to yell "ranga!" at him (it took me a couple of minutes to work out that this was short for orang utan). The bloke took it well, after all, he is a comedian and a public figure - but what a nob in the audience.

I think one of the biggest problems with having some types of ginger hair is the lack of eyebrows and eyelashes, which can make you look a bit odd - I spent many years refusing to leave the house without mascara on, and using eyebrow pencil in the summer when my eyebrows were bleached into non-existence. I don't bother now because I don't care - why live to other people's expectations?

Of course I meant lack of visible eyebrows and eyelashes - we still have them, they are just very pale!

I am going to keep this thread and show it to my gorgeous red headed DD when she is older (She is 5 months)

rose, make sure you remove some of the less kind comments first then!

Anyway, she might not need it - by the time she is old enough to notice, there might have been a ginger revolution...

YANNNNNNBU!

I am a flaming redhead and have never ever dyed my hair (although I do dye my eyebrows and eyelashes now to give my face some definition). I have never really been bullied for it - I had the odd Duracell comment - my sister was but she was a big personality who didn't cow to the majority to fit in, so if it wasn't her hair that she was bullied for it would have been something else IYSWIM.

But I love my red hair and I couldn't believe it when DD turned up being blonde! It's so strong in my family that I just assumed that she'd be a redhead too.

A male friend of mine says that redheads are 'by far the hottest chicks of all'

Thumbwitch, I'm there with you for the ginger revolution!! We'll keep the red flag flying high!

I love my red hair, but I do think that, depending on your child's temperament, it isn't always fair to ask them to stand up and be proud.

A friend of mine has two daughters whose hair is bright ginger- very beautiful and striking. One of them is loud and proud, the other struggled with it once she got to 13ish.

Her Mum took her to the hairdressers and she had a colour put in which still let some of the red shine through, but darkened it to a more auburn shade.

It is lovely as she hasn't lost her red identity and the colour still works with her skin tone, but she doesn't feel so 'different'.