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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that ginger hair

325 replies

Vallhala · 18/11/2009 23:51

is the most beautiful colour and those with it shouldn't be bullied or taken the micky out of but praised instead?

My twelve year old daughter has been bullied at school for the colour of her hair, so much so that she wants to dye it. This is breaking my heart as her hair colour is absolutely gorgeous, a golden red, and she should be proud of it. She's so upset by the bullying and she feels alone and "different".

So, come on all you redheads and Mums of redheaded children - don't you think that red hair is simply stunning? I want to show her that you might get unkind comments as a child by the ignorant people (she's been called a "ginger C" amongst other things) but when you grow up you realise how much good attention ginger hair gets you and how pretty it is.

OP posts:

ghislaine · 22/07/2011 21:09

Red hair is so beautiful - your DD is so lucky to have won the genetic lottery.

Red hair runs in my family, but I missed out and my sister is the redhead. I'm terribly envious and have had to resort to the bottle version - even then I've had total strangers come up to me on the street and the tube to say what a great colour it is. My sister was regularly stopped in the street by people admiring her hair and her hairdresser was always pestering her to donate her (waist length) locks for cancer patients as red hair is so in demand.

When your DD's schoolmates are older they will pay good money to have hair like hers!

edam · 22/07/2011 21:12

Time - and whatshisface who was in Green Wing and the Barclaycard ads. The on who wasn't Stephen Mangan. Strawberry blonde and lovely with it.

edam · 22/07/2011 21:13

one my e key is loose...

HattiFattner · 22/07/2011 21:13

my DD, 14, is a strawberry blonde. her name, fittingly, is AMber, she was born with a shock of auburn hair, like a duracel battery . Today we went to the supermarket to buy hair dye (her request, not my suggestion). I showed her the exact colour of her hair and told her people were paying good money to have an unnatural shade of her hair colour. She didn't buy any dye in the end.

Plus as she is fair, she has very little noticeable body hair and, it believe, matching collar and cuffs, . hopefully she will stop feeling the need for drastic changes to her gorgeously beautiful hair.

everlong · 22/07/2011 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ghislaine · 22/07/2011 21:15

Gallery of gorgeous readheads

ghislaine · 22/07/2011 21:16

Oh bother. REDheads.

ClaireDeLoon · 22/07/2011 21:19

My DN is the most stunning redhead with creamy beautiful skin. I get copper highlights put IN to my hair as I love it so (I have a reddish tinge to my hair when in the sun). DP loves it when I get the copper in.

All this rubbish spouted about ginger hair is just nasty unfounded prejudice from people who can't think for themselves.

Edam - Julian Rindt Something? Currently in The Hour.

therealmrsbeckham · 22/07/2011 21:24

YANBU I think that ginger hair is gorgeous. My best friend of 30 years has the most beautiful ginger hair and i've been jealous of it or as long as I can remember! I always dye my hair red but it never looks as good.

One of my DD's best friends also has ginger hair. He is embarrassed by it due to teasing but it's stunning as my DD is always telling him.

My MIL also has ginger hair and I was always hopeful that one of my DC would be a red head, DD and DS1 aren't but DS2 (aged 8 months) has got a distinctive ginger streak at the front i'm checking it daily and am so excited

AandK · 22/07/2011 21:28

I dye my hair ginger I like it that much.

I have just had a conversation with my 9yo ds and he is actually shocked that people bully because of the colour of their hair he has never known anything like this.

Maybe he's been well sheltered but I honestly thought this sort of thing didn't happen any more with how well schools deal with bullying. Or in case clearly not.

CheerfulYank · 22/07/2011 21:30

I have wanted red hair my entire life. I've tried to dye it but it just never looks right. It runs in DH's family and I wanted DS to get it, but he didn't. We're going to try for another this year and, it has to be said, I'm dreaming of a little girl with bright copper hair.

Of course I'll probably get a black-tressed little boy and won't be able to imagine it any other way :o

sleepindogz · 22/07/2011 21:32

red hair is absolutely beautiful

its not run of the bill like boring brown or mousy

i would love to have flaming red hair

Allinabinbag · 22/07/2011 21:36

I"ve just googled Barbara Meier the model someone was talking about, she is just stunning, her hair is gorgeous. I love red hair and wanted red haired girls, but I chose the wrong husband:)

I think the advice from Lying (?) though is good, it's best to treat these things lightly and not get too hung up on looks in general with children/teens. It seems a much more looks oriented world now, I saw lots of French/Italian early teens students in our town the other day, and they all looked nice in their jumpers and jeans, no heavy black eye make up and mini-skirts. Teens in other countries don't see so fussed about looking adult (and quite sleazy) quite so young.

But being red-haired as an adult is fab, everyone always remembers you.

Solo · 23/07/2011 01:29

I wonder how Valls Dc is coping now? does anyone else realise that this thread is from Nov '09? Great thread though :)

ThumbsNoseAtSnapewitch · 23/07/2011 02:50

Yes, I noticed it when I read the OP cos I remember posting on it back then.

I think the problems with teasing ginger-haired children perpetuate in part because some adults carry it on. Children then will pick up on it as being something to take the piss out of and so it carries on. What really pisses me off is when people like my DH, for e.g., go on about "not wanting a ginger son" - there was quite a high chance because I am ginger (although not strikingly so) and his mum was a redhead as well, but darker. WTF? I mean, the two most important women in his life have red hair but he still disses it? That's just stupid.
Mind you, I'm used to it - my sister's DD came out with what looked like pale ginger hair and she was all "oh no, not a ginga!" - yes, thank for that, sister mine. So you can see immediately that this attitude is going to continue down through her DDs (none of whom are actually redheads), but at least I get to stamp on DH whenever he says anything so DS won't have the same attitude.

It is far from being a "schoolyard only" situation. Sadly.

mathanxiety · 23/07/2011 05:49

Show me a 12 year old girl who loves the way she looks and goes nonchalantly about her days secure in the knowledge that no-one is looking at her, and I will buy you a lottery ticket, because clearly it will be a most unusual day.

I have 2 DDs who are redheads and 2 who are not, plus DS who is not. None of the DDs who have gone through the terrible twelves were happy about their looks. (Youngest DD, not a redhead, is still a blithely unconcerned 9 yo). There has been much more angst over the curliness (all but DD4 and DS are afflicted here) and enormous effort used to go into straightening until they got over themselves or decided sleep was a better idea in the small hours of the morning on a schoolday.

I think it's easier to embrace your gingerness in the US than in the UK or even in Ireland. Never met anyone who didn't fall over themselves in awe of The Hair in the US.

Loonytoonie · 23/07/2011 07:12

Excellent thread - first time for me to see it.
DN is a 5 year old red-head, pale skin and blue eyes. It has a gentle curl to it and is quite long now. She's also mad on running and her hair is like fire when she's in full sprint. I am totally in love with her. Her nickname is 'Red' amongst family and she always gets positive attention when out. I hope she can be resilient to hurtful comments when she's older.

RosemaryandThyme · 24/07/2011 20:21

My second DS was born with red hair.
It was a total shock - no other red-heads in close or extended family.
It took me a few weeks to really bond with him, on one memorably wobbly day another mum at play-group scouped him up showered him with kisses and told me later that in Cyprus where she is from red-heads are adored as special bringers of joy and luck.
A few days later at baby-check my GP told me that red-heads are known to carry protection from three types of cancer and two chronic illnesses.
Wow

MightyQuim · 24/07/2011 20:44

I can confirm that redheads are loved all around the Med. I went to Turkey and Italy as a teen and couldn't go anywhere without being propositioned by hoards of men. It was the same for the pale/blonde Scandinavian looking girls - I think you just stand out so much.
Very happy to hear I carry protection from some cancers too - woo hoo!

EyeoftheStorm · 24/07/2011 20:49

I have auburn hair - green eyes and pale skin to go with it - and have had nothing but compliments all my life. My dad is a Scot and a proper red head and was never teased about it up there.

DS2 is a proper red head. If he is teased about it, I will tell him that now he knows everything he needs to know about that person. Not worth any time or energy.

In fact, that's what I will tell my DCs if they are teased about anything they don't have any control over - glasses, accents, spots . . .

Solo · 25/07/2011 01:41

I don't have red hair, but have natural red lights in it, which I love. My Ds was born with strawberry blond hair that went to blond and has gradually got darker and darker. Dd's paternal Grandma had auburn hair as a young woman, so it was possible that Dd would get that from her too, but she hasn't so far...it was dark at birth, then went blond and now is going darker again. I'm not sure that red hair would suit her, but it's very curly and would look amazing :)

edam · 25/07/2011 15:54

Rosemary - there is a down side though, I'm afraid, red-heads are more sensitive to pain and actually require more anaesthesia when undergoing sugery. Seriously!

motherinferior · 25/07/2011 16:15

Yes. It is Very Important that everyone is nice to us too and provides us with flattery and cake.

carabos · 25/07/2011 17:09

Edam and Rosemary - also important to know that some redheads are "bleeders" - my red haired DS2 is one. You may find that if they cut themselves, have a tooth out or whatever, it can take time to get the bleeding to stop. They can bruise very easily and are prone to all sorts of weird skin things. As its a recessive gene, other issues can come out such as colour-blindness (got that too). It's a syndrome, not just a colour, with good and bad points to it. If you have a bleeder, make sure the school knows about it as they can get a bit panicky - kids themselves tend to be impressed though (especially the boys )

seeker · 25/07/2011 17:10

Absolutely
Because we are ver special people,favoured by the Goddess.

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