to be really cross that NO ONE can be arsed to help at PTA fayre

[nicefleece]

I have volunteered to help out at the PTA Christmas Fayre. A note was sent out last week in all 410 book bags, asking for any volunteers to help set up / man the stalls.

3 people replied, one of them is the chair of the PTA

What the feck? Shall I ask the heads to mention it? Why are people so sodding selfish! I know people work, have other kids etc etc but really....

What next? Megaphone of shame in the playground? Sooooo cross and disappointed!

THEN DO THINGS THAT PEOPLE WANT TO DO AND MAKE IT EASY AND PLEASANT FOR THEM TO GIVE WHAT LITTLE OF THEIR TIME THEY HAVE AND DON'T TELL THEM THEY ARE USELESS PLANKS FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO ORGANISE CATERED EVENTS OR WHATEVER IT IS.

I am angry that the govt doesn't fund education enough. Perhaps some of the non-PTA-ers have no time for it becasue they are politically active, trying to change that lack of funding. Or perhaps they don't want to facilitate it by contributing to a grossly inefficient alternative source of funding. Or perhaps they would rather bite the bullet and bwe asked by the school for a voluntary £30 a term, instead of freneticising their own and their children's lives.

Our PTA is super cliquey. I like the meetings from a people watching point of view because it is quite hilarious sometimes. All the playground style politics of who has fallen out with who, the arse-lickers, the devils advocate, they're all there.

I offered to help at something once, got accepted, booked afternoon off work, turned up and was told I wasn't needed. So you can imagine how much I will not volunteer for in future!

AND ACTUALLY PEOPLE ARE PISSED OFF AT THE RIGHT PEOPLE - WE ARE TALKING ABOUT OBJECTIONABLE PERSONALITIES HERE NOT THE GOVERNMENT

We also give towards school trips - so EVERYONE can go - we do things like second hand uniform sales, because there are alot of families in our school who cannot afford new stuff.

We have a talent show - fine its not curing cancer, but I am very very proud of it because many of the children who participate do not have the luxury of going to Theatre school etc etc. This gives them an opportunity. It is important!

Grr - this topic gets me

Can you tell...

I know some PTA's are cliquey - but I really don't think ours is, and we really really welcome newcomers. Actually, I think we nearly scared someone off because we were sooo happy to have them. I am the chair, and I hate for anyone to feel left out, so I MAKE SURE everyone knows they are appreciated.

Thing is - (about the clique-y-ness) - people often join with a friend because they a feel shy about it. Then they work with those people and other PTA members on events, so friendships get formed. Sometimes (i think anyways) its not that they are excluding others when they "all stand together in the playground" - they are just hanging out with people who have become their friends.

I can see and could argue all sides of this issue. I have been, at various times, a teacher appreciating the money raised and spending it on exciting new things for the school, a parent eager to help on the PTA (though more for the social contact and involvement in the school than for the money raising benefits), a non-PTA member nevertheless willing to attend events, and latterly a parent who ignores all those letters asking for help and tries to avoid the events too.

I loathe school fetes and fayres - someone asked earlier what a fayre was: it's a collection of stalls selling the biggest load of tat or 3 minutes of dubious entertainment, eg splatting a rat or kicking a football into a net, all for the highest price and school can reasonably expect to get away with. I would far rather pay £20 at the beginning of each year which is a scheme the first school I ever taught in had. That said, that school was an absolute disaster area and I left after completing my obligatory year of probation so maybe that says something.

These ghastly school events are popular with the children (mine always want to attend) and I think they do contribute to the community of the school. I think it is sad that some parents don't appreciate or want to be part of their children's school community, especially the primary schools. There is little enough community spirit left in this country as it is and we all deplore the lack of community today but do nothing to contribute to our children's communities.

To be honest nicefleece I think that you have to ask people whether (a) they want a fair and - crucially - (b) enough that they are prepared to help out at it.

My experience is that the PTA seems to find Christmas fairs indispensable but can't provide enough people to run the thing effectively (and PTA insiders tell me that the same names volunteer every year, they also tell me that some people just seem to like 'being on the PTA' without actually doing much). So then the PTA asks the forms for help from parents, and again the same few people volunteer year after year. (And if I am slightly cynical about all of this then maybe I have the right as I am one of the names who has helped out in the last 3 yrs). Cue more 'reminder' notes asking please please for more help, in the end it's all just about okay and the thing goes ahead and everyone declares it a success - and the whole effort is repeated the next year.

It's no good saying 'the children love it' and 'we raise all this for the school/charity' if it just creates resentment and grudging support. There are other ways to entertain the children and raise money which are far easier to organise - mufti days/ sales at sports day and so forth.

Forgot to say: I have found the happy medium that works for me. I don't actively participate in the PTA, but I am one of those parents the PTA members know about who they can approach in the playground to ask for my help for events. I make a point of not always saying yes as I do not want to be committed to these events I loathe so much, but I help out often enough to feel I am contributing, and I always make cakes etc because that is done in my own time and I enjoy it. I think most people are happy enough with that level of participation and indeed, for most people, that is all that is required, but it took some years for me to work this out!

'jumps up and down to point out that out PTA also runs/mans/organises/collects uniforms to sell second hand'

And seconds whoever siad get arsey with the government, not the PTA...

I do want to part of the school/local community.
I quite simply do not want to be looked down on for not having the skills and confidence needed to be a jolly and useful part of the PTA. Some people work FAR better on small scale contributions, like helping pupils with Eng as a second language to read better, or donating materials to the library or gardening club.

I find it abhorrent that the contributions that are (sometimes grudgingly) valued are dictated by a small group of people who have a clear preference for big-deal, public-face catering or theatrical events. And I do not want to spend my time with people who place no value on things outside their own sphere.

DG - some people on this thread would see that as a pretty lukewarm contribution! Personally I think that's great and more people could be encouraged to contribute on a small scale if they knew it was valued and they wouldn't have to publicly man the stalls and then be pressured into a committee position.

Oh yes, it is a pretty lukewarm contribution, I agree, but if everyone contributed in the same lukewarm way (and I appreciate some can't but just saying...) then that would be enough, wouldn't it?

Bellisima is right ime: it is always the same people who volunteer or are roped into helping. Some parents are never ever seen (I only found out that one of our local swimming teachers is a parent of a child in ds2's year when they turned up for the Year 6 Leaver's Service in July!) and I have often thought if everyone contributed a little, the burden pleasure would be shared.

At last year's Christmas fair the PTA asked for volunteers to look after a stall for half an hour (fair ran for 2 hours). They got so few volunteers that the ones that did mostly ended up looking after 2 stalls each for an hour.

Funnily enough there were many many parents that managed to come to the fair and sit and gossip to their friends for half an hour or more ...

Some parents are at work, some have younger children to look after. Fair enough. But not being able to offer a small amount of help at an event you were at anyway is pretty selfish in my book.

Bellisima - kinda sounds like our school!

We used to have a Summer and a Christmas Fair - we had to drop one because it was so much work, and we didn't get enough helpers. We got SO many complaints - mostly from parents who never help.

Its a bit of a catch-22. People do seem to enjoy the Fairs, but we always struggle for the help. They are also a huge fundraiser, so its hard to drop them - we'd have to do many many other things to make up the cash.

We have asked many times for ideas for activities, and people just don't respond.

I honestly don't understand how people can complain (in our school I mean) about what we do-but then they don't have any good idea of other things we can do.

Thats just it redsky - if everyone did half an hour, then manning the stalls etc wouldn't be such a huge burden.

Most of our PTA have NEVER been around the Fairs - because they are so busy running it

'for some parents it's just take, take, take...'

What fucking nonsense. Some of you really are up your own arses with a sense of self-importance. You are busy making life better for your own children, and children very like your own children. I'd be more impressed if you were complaining about those who do nothing for the people around the world who are MUCH worse off than people in Britain.

stop trying to take on the world VW...

you come across as a bit of a bore

just help your community....

Luckily, someone with a mouth like yours being impressed, is not high on my list of priorities sweetie

Personally I think that everyone should do some kind of volunteering somewhere. Having a job and bringing up children is not enough (unless you have SN children or other extra commitments). Communities need help. It's usually those who do nothing who complain most.

Do PTA, run a village playground, help in a church, visit old people, or whatever. But do something that's not work or children.

My God what a foul thread.

Our pa used to get a classrep system- named person in each class (didnt have to attendeverything) to drum up help 1-1

Only way ime

What a fab idea peachy

OP yanbu. I am on the pta, and I read all these threads about how the pta are pushy etc... yet nobody objects to a white board in every class room, it's a difficult school to get into because the pta's efforts really improve the school.

A while ago, I was trying to sell tickets for a fashion night we held. I asked one woman if she wanted to buy a ticket and she said 'it's not my kind of thing'.

right. Even though she owns her house outright and could afford to support her two children's school, it's not her kind of thing.

I do get f**d off sometimes, running around making the effort for all the other people who just assume somebody ELSE will do it, but yet, they wouldn't dream of sending their kids to the other school which is the 'rough' school. 3 times as many pupils.

I've said to the principle that when he sends out perspectivey booklets and application forms, he should put in the bumpf that because it's a small underfunded school, fundraising is part of the ethos and parents to be should be aware of that.

I miss being able to do PTA (snu one too faraway for popping in and out orseeing anyone, Juniors doesn't have one- Head has banned it. )

I was on Infants one, but now I read weekly with a class and I woulddefyanyone to say this is worth less, visible or not