to be really cross that NO ONE can be arsed to help at PTA fayre

[nicefleece]

I have volunteered to help out at the PTA Christmas Fayre. A note was sent out last week in all 410 book bags, asking for any volunteers to help set up / man the stalls.

3 people replied, one of them is the chair of the PTA

What the feck? Shall I ask the heads to mention it? Why are people so sodding selfish! I know people work, have other kids etc etc but really....

What next? Megaphone of shame in the playground? Sooooo cross and disappointed!

i have helped the PTA out when i can....it's only a few hours every 6 months....who can't spare that...?...plus i think it's good for my dc to see me getting involved.....i care about our school..

Haven't read the whole thread - just beginning and end.
I don't do much for the PTA, but I do a bit - usually small things like packing up harvest festival goods for half an hour, or wrapping some prizes, etc.
Nothing massive that takes up more time than I can manage - more of a small contribution, several times a year. I'm not into the politics of the PTA, but have no issue with those who are - I just make sure I don't involve myself with that side of things.
I think the PTA is a link between home and school, in the setting of the community. My (v small!) contribution to the activities of the PTA is my way of saying that I think its an important link - and if the PTA is the mobilising force that gets a new playground/equipment etc sorted, all well and good.

I want to say up front that our PTA is fabulous. They work really hard and are constantly working out ways to be more accessible - they've just started having a coffee morning one day a week straight after drop off to a) help them seem more accessible but also to have somewhere dry and warm to natter to your mates rather than just outside the school gate .

I don't do enough to help really. I was full of good intentions and then every evening meeting they did, dh was away or the kids were ill ... there was always something coming up. I do bake when necessary and attend/spend money at the events, but this thread has got me thinking about other things I could do which isn't public facing, so I'm going to ask the next coffee morning.

BUT

"A while ago, I was trying to sell tickets for a fashion night we held. I asked one woman if she wanted to buy a ticket and she said 'it's not my kind of thing'."

This really ticks me off. Maybe it JUST wasn't her kind of thing. Why should she buy a ticket for something that she wasn't going to enjoy attending? If you're not getting support for that sort of event then maybe it's the wrong event.

Our PTA spent a lot of time asking what people actually wanted to ATTEND. And you know what a lot of people valued? A couple of extra hours childcare. The "cinema" nights they run once a term are really really popular and a good money maker. The kids get a hotdog, some popcorn and a drink, and an age appropriate film (it's split between keystages). The parents get 2 hours peace/time to spend with the other sibling/whatever.

Best.PTA.Event.EVER

Anna, that's quite rude, you know. I could have been that woman. A fashion night is my idea of a bad night out. Sorry that I don't want to do something you've organised, and all that. But can't you see that that sort of response is exactly why people are saying they don't want to be part of it??

Cross posts with RUbberduck. I LIKE the sound of your PTA.

What is making me really cross about this thread is that many the people who clearly work hard on their PTA seem to be putting a lot of energy into things that THEY might like, and then doing down people who a) don't want to spend their little amount of free time doing those things; and b) don't want to get involved with people who criticise others for not wanting to do precisely what they want them to do.

Perhaps it's a case of never the twain shall meet, but really, a bit of nous....if you make it hard, socially unpleasant, or unenjoyable for people, they will run a mile!

eg if you are aware that standing in the playground talking to your PTA chums makes people feel it's a clique (however silly that may seem to you) then why not try not to do it? If you know people DO NOT want to volunteer to man a stall and then be pressed into becoming treasurer, find another way. Etc.

'I am angry that the govt doesn't fund education enough.'

What a pile of horse shit.
More than enough money is spent.
It just generally goes on useless activities and resources that have no measurable effect on academic achievement.

Not all do that though, Prunerz

Our PTA was quite good, the last chairwoman got it from a one woman nightmare (NOT the fault of the lady herself, she was great but bad things had happend before i think, she got lumbered with a small committee who then ended up with other things on their paltes....). we weren't cliquey. how do I know this? becuase I am not in cliques, ever, I am alst one standing at PE girl, the original. But they worked to find ways for all to help- I can't do seling,I can however make letterheads and rite letters/ take minutes, so I did that.

Our events were popular also; minimum number so as not to be annoying, and always well attended.

We used to mett weekly for coffee in the mornings, as it suited most of us (my Dh worked nights,chair was a Vicar who diod evening metts, etc etc)..... so people complained we alienated them by holding daytime meets, we arranged one (my Dh took a night off- and no show).

I do think when it comes to PTA's the problem with somepeople is guilt; they're so convinced that they should be doing it they find amyriad of excuses why they don't, be far better if people could just feel fine about what they *do contribute and get on with it

Afterall, whats the point ofa fetewith 200 stallholders and no customers?

Do what you can, and feel positive about it

Ooooh, a boring old potty mouth like mine. Clearly, you won't need me on the PTA committee then.

Since I don't fit in, and have a different opinion of what is valuable, and all.

That's me told.

Such as Moondog?

When I was teaching, I remember begging for funds for basics such as books. I don't know if it is still the same, but by about April the school would have run out of sugar paper (apart from boring mauve) and I was forever buying things out of my own pocket so that I could teach interesting lessons. It astonishes me now that the PTA at my children's school seems to spend the money on subsidising trips and going to the panto each year. Maybe funding has improved?

Ours went on peripheries- nice play areas, toys for breaktimes,that sort of thing

Each teacher wopuld put in (orr be invited to put in) a wish list that would be debated at a meeting.

I'm bewildered by some of the hostility on this thread. Each to their own, no need for warring factors, surely?
If you can help, you should, if you can't fair dos. but don't slag off those who can.

I work, have 2 kids at different schools, and have other voluntary commitments, (and weave my own lentils), but I can spare an odd hour on a sat to help at an event which my children clamour to attend.

our PTA has provided the cash to build new toilets for the reception children nearer their classroom. Sorry, that's probably too much a luxury for some folk to want to support

It has also provided extra stuff like play equipment for the playground which previously was a concrete wasteland.

How is this a bad thing?

I do think it's a shame that more people haven't responded, but at the same time, you can't force people.

I'm busy applying for schools for my daughter at the moment and my first choice has an active parents and friends committee. I will be working 4 days a week (as a teacher) and I am looking forward to getting involved with PFC as I simply won't be there for drop off and pick up 80% of the time.

My parents (both teachers) did the same thing. My mum even attended a seminar on how to teach children to read as I'd asked her to go. (Class teacher had told us it was really important).

If people genuinely haven't got time, fair enough, but it's the children who miss out in the long term.

Wow Anna no wonder that woman was keeping her distance!

If it's not her thing then it's not.

Whether she owns her house blah blah..what on earth has that got to do with it? How do you know what she can afford?

OP we have similar problems with our Christmas fair - never get quite enough helpers, but the place is mobbed on the day. Then it winds me up when non-helping parents say things like: ''oh it's not as good as previous years is it? Not many stalls....I had to wait ages for a cup of tea....etc''

Or what she is interested in? I own my house too but I have never had the slightest interest in fashion and would have no interest whatsoever in attending a fashion evening.

Mollyroger - yep - and maoning that there aren't any cakes left on the cake stall

Peachy, that sounds just fab to me.
Mainly I am reacting to some of the responses from some PTA chairs/members/volunteers on here: really unpleasant responses. It is not hard to see why they have a hard time getting people involved!

FWIW I have been involved in the nursery PTA and I do understand the frustration of not being able to chivvy people into helping, but fgs, saying "People are so apathetic, they don't care, they don't want to contribute" - it's generally not true, it does get back to people (really, it does, people gossip about the PTA all the time), it makes them view you with hostility, and it makes the situation worse.

I completely agree that people should do what they CAN but bear in mind that some people are just not going to be able to man stalls (lack confidence? can't do arithmetic? have fallen out with another parent and are scared to face them?), much less ring round caterers etc. If you have a list of jobs that need doing before a fair, and include some which are quiet, behind the scenes jobs, you are going to get a better response, and though you might think 'bloody hell that would take me 5 mins to do', if you get someone else to do it and make them feel valued, you have made a connection which has promise.

If you take a high-handed head-girl type approach, people will gladly leave you to it! It's elementary psychology, really.

STOP PRESS
CHRISTMAS FAYRE GOES ON

We've had 4 more volunteers, tahts all we needed - so not so disappointed by overall apathy.

Yes I know we have jobs, family, other priorities, dogs, other committments, but now 7 out of 410 can find some time, I feel much happier that the people who are available do want to join in a community event.

Thanks for the non-sneery support & ideas(some of you) chaps!

Love Bossy Monica, Brown nosed, Head girl.

OK, just got to the end of this thread. I am currently a PTA Chair (to give perspective on my comments).

PTA ask "what kind of events would you like to see?" no reply. So PTA tends to go with what has always worked in the past. Often to do something different is a huge risk - not every event needs to make money, as many people have said on here it's also about community - but you don't want to be making a loss.

I feel very strongly that we should NOT charge exhorbitant amounts for tat, or 3 minutes of fun. We do our best to keep prices to a minimum so that those who do come along and support our events feel they have got value for money.

I quite understand those who don't want to work on stalls. Happy if people tell me "no". Not so happy at those who look me up and down as if to say "How dare YOU come and ask me to do THAT". A simple "no sorry" or just "no" would suffice!

I'm trying to build up a database of email addresses of parents on our pta mailbox (email addresses volunteered willingly!) - and that is working really well. People can ignore completely or offer to do any job it's entirely up to them - and the non face to face seems to take some of the pressure off.

Yes, rota's are always hard to fill - and it does always seem to be the same few.
We too utilise some of the children (who are VERY keen to be involved).

Nothing will please everyone. There will always be those who weren't happy with things you have decided to do (had to snigger at the comment about Father Christmas outfit when grotto/photo/pressie free) - but that's life! (and yes, it does tend to be those who don't help and often don't come along who complain).

What is the answer? Not sure there is one. If you're going to be on the PTA you have to be fairly thick-skinned. But you also have to be accepting of everyone's decision to do what works for them.

Glad to hear it Nicefleece.

Flatmouse - are YOU my PTA chair whose name comes up as a rude word on predicitve text?

Don't think so... cause we've only just started looking to fill our rota for xmas.
(that and i've just tried to make a rude word out of my name using predictive txt and failed)

Phew - no accusations of cliques then...

wish i could make a rude word out of my name using predictive txt - i'd find that funny

I never went to a PTA meeting or helped out in any way

shape or form, except for when it came to the actual

event,

when I'd spend money on the different

stalls on offer. After all these years of bringing up kids

I have reached the conclusion that it matters not one jot

if you get involved with PTA or not. I totally agree with

SolidGoldBangers. So many of the PTA parents seem

like smug, self important busybodies.

Now that my four kids are safely installed at university,

I'm happy to announce that having avoided PTA for all

those years,

my kids still turned out successful and content.

I