to be really cross that NO ONE can be arsed to help at PTA fayre

[nicefleece]

I have volunteered to help out at the PTA Christmas Fayre. A note was sent out last week in all 410 book bags, asking for any volunteers to help set up / man the stalls.

3 people replied, one of them is the chair of the PTA

What the feck? Shall I ask the heads to mention it? Why are people so sodding selfish! I know people work, have other kids etc etc but really....

What next? Megaphone of shame in the playground? Sooooo cross and disappointed!

I'm further confirmed in my opinion, especially after annasui. PTA fashion event? Surrounded by people like you? Hah. No.

'Mainly I am reacting to some of the responses from some PTA chairs/members/volunteers on here: really unpleasant responses. It is not hard to see why they have a hard time getting people involved!'

I know

shame people like inmy assume that because one poster was a bit- erm, [hmmm]- then we all are though.

I used to be part of a PTA. We knew all the parents at the school between us so we knew those parents who had genuine reasons not to help (like dying of cancer), those who could spare time if they actually cared to do so and who needed to e.g take tickets at the door because they needed to be sitting down and couldn't manage a stall. Some parents helped in advance by making things to sell. Almost all of the community pulled together and the school benefited from that sense of community. There was an expectation that parents would help and most did so.

Now at a different school I don't get involved because I don't like the people who do. The PTA is a social club for a few parents and doesn't try to be inclusive. The head uses it as a way of selecting who they would like as governors but it serves little purpose apart from that. It's a shame as I know what a good PTA can be like but I've given up trying to change it.

I really get pissed off with those who cannot be arsed to help with the PTA. I have a full time job and three young dc's, but i still manage to volunteer for the PTA. I couldn't care less about cliques, i help because my dc's benefit from the money raised.
The Summer Fayre at my dc's school was cancelled because there were not enough volunteers. There was an uproar at the school from the same people who cannot be arsed to help.
Parents who cannot be bothered to help, have no right to complain about the lack of books etc.

I've read enough of this to be pretty shocked at how aggressive and dismissive some of you are, bigged up with your self-importance. Take no notice nicefleece and co, their bad karma. Bet you can identify the parents from the kids too, you know, the nasty little pushy-shovy ones steeped in a vat of their own entitlement.

I have perfectly nice kids and am not bigged up in my own self importance - I just am not available. I would prefer that I was but I'm not. I rarely get to fairs or events that the kids go to - DH usually takes them and the PTA in this locale would wet themselves at a man being involved so he can't either. No one has managed to answer me on how I "make time" with juggling 3 jobs and 50+ hours with kids and caring for DH. I am only at home in bed on MN at this time because I'm ill. I would love a different life but I'm stuck in this one.

Riven I was shocked too! I thought I would be baking a few cakes to suppy Football kit or somesuch.

I am very intrigued at all the smug PTA'ers out there. For the most part our PTA is tired, resigned, and feel a bit trapped. I think we all feel that if we left, then others wouldn't step up.

beingabitch I am appalled

I am totally with you nicefleece. And some of these comments on here make my blood boil similarly. I do appreciate that people have paid jobs (please don't say "I work" as if those of us at home aren't "working" just larking around looking for something to fill our time - we work, we just don't get paid for it). I know that lots and lots of people have very valid reasons they haven't volunteered for the Fair. And also the events organised by the PTA, such as Fairs, aren't essential to the fabric of school life. But they are great fun for the kids, and the money they raise also goes towards buying other things that make the children's experience at school more fun. And more fun at school makes children happier to be there. Happier children learn better. All these people's children benefit from the hard work of a few people, and generally they are not remotely grateful for it.

The sad fact is that the people who do help generally are the ones who don't really have the time to do it. The ones that do often are the worst at not bothering. A lot of the people will simply assume someone else will do it. And eventually someone will. This doesn't make it right. Saying you are "too busy" is very rude - what you are saying is "my time is more important than yours - you may be able to fit in this event into your less important life, but I certainly cannot change any of my plans to help out as mine are simply far more important".

Some people do have genuine excuses. Paid work can be, but frankly not always. Maybe just one year you could take holiday and help out? Just for a change? I'm getting babysitters so I can help out with our fair - as my non-paid work has to be covered too, you know. Maybe you can't come on the day. Can you do something to help set up? Wrap presents? Help take it all down again afterwards, perhaps? Christmas is a bad time to be trying to get time off - but what about at least offering to help out at the next event at a less busy time? At least say thank you to the people doing it, explain why you can't help, and ask if there is something you can do which fits in with your reason.

Perhaps we should move towards a situation where only the children who's parents do actually help out are allowed to benefit from all the little extras provided by the PTA. Then we might see a bit more effort put in. "Sorry, you can't play with this new piece of equipment in the garden, your parents have never done anything to help out the PTA in anway, so you can't use it".

Of course I'm not serious. However, on a serious point, you should publicise everything the PTA has provided, I bet half the parents have no idea. And you should provide opportunities to help get ready for the Fair which are not during the working day, and ask working parents to help out then. And just get used to it. I've been on committees at playgroup and now school, and it's just the way things work. Very few people do all the work without any thanks from any of the majority of the parents, many of whom simply can't be bothered. A limited few simply can't help for genuine reasons - and, paradoxically, they're the ones who feel bad about it. Hope the Fair goes well!

I helped out for 3-4 years when kids were in infants. Totally awful task as it basically involved pressganging people to help on stalls and having to ignore my own children for hours at the fairs etc whilst watching all the other parents take their own children round activities....volunteering for an hour on a stall always meant getting lumbered with the hour after as there was never anyone else to take over. i was sick of it by the time both DCs left and vowed to stay away from the PTA at junior school. i feel i've done my bit tbh and the bit of spare time I have had since stopping PTA stuff I spent working with a very disadvantaged section of the population and felt it was of more immediate value.

Plus i'm never that clear what they spend all the money on and often I hear about things they've bought that really don't benefit the children in any way so I feel quite reluctant to contribute now. But then I guess it's different at each school.....

My understanding of some of these posts is that if, as a parent, you do not help out on the stalls, then it would be preferable if you didn't bother turning up to the event (with your purse) either...

But my original post was the disappointment in lack of community, through lack of availability or lack of interest.

Please come to our 'fayre' with you purse.

5049emma - you weren't Head Girl when you were at school, by any chance?

nicefleece - people have to want to give their time however little of it they might have, but I reckon there's parents who won't have the heart to say no if they know no other mug will do it (meaning that nicely!)

I was persuaded to set up a fundraising committee for dd's pre-school, there were no parents who would get involved for a year, so the pre-school lost money on the school trip. I wouldn't have done it if anybody else had volunteered. I have avoided the school PTA so far, but I am happy to help out on a stall at xmas if someone else will take dc around.

There's also got to be parents to attend all the events, on a hot summer's day there's plenty who'd escape to the beach instead of the fair, so at least beingabitch supported them.

Tee hee - InMyLittleHead - no I wasn't, but I see what you mean. Just years of absolutely no help and people being rubbish has got to me, I'm afraid. Apologies for sounding so headgirlish!

Saying "I'm too busy" is not saying PTA/your time is less important than me - I am saying that paying my mortgage and keeping my family together is my priority. There is a recession and a dead housing market in case you haven't noticed. I don't want us to be another statistic in the repossession lists. If attending or helping at Christmas fayres has to be dropped then so be it. I would do more if our circumstances changed - I did in the past and if I was given more notice I would do baking in an evening rather than get annoyed by judgmental people on MN.

Interesting, will have to mark this and come back to read all the comments in the next few days.

One project I've been working on is to put 90% of profits from a directory (competition for Thomsons/ Yellow Pages) into funding local projects, and the PTAs are to be the first destination for cash.

When it succeeds it should pump amounts from 500 to 5000 pounds for almost any project (my ex-head sister and my other sisters who each have had children may be vetting ideas, rather than me, so I can help them out as they're all older than me). Smaller sums would be queued, first in, first paid, larger amounts would be drawn at random, hopefully no more than a few months before projects were funded.

In return, I'd ask that PTAs publicise their local school's page on the website (increasing page hits, and if it was made the 'home page' for families, would show them a few local company adverts - ie the ones funding the cash fed back to the PTAs).

Anyway, early days, but later would want upwards of 20 full time WAHMs, so there'd be regional specialists with local geographic knowledge...

I understand that PTAs (presumably higher figures might be in the London commuter belt areas) generate upwards of 50million a year in England, and can, for the OP, only wish for success for the fayre, with a few more volunteers willing to assist.

mollybob - hope you feel better soon, and quite understand your priorities and committments.

Don't run it then. I get involved in some voluntary stuff locally and to be honest, I hate it. I promised a small amount of time and have ended up doing about 4 times as much. It is very difficult once you start these things to get out of them. I would honestly rather pay £20-30 not to go the event being organised. Even when I wasn't helping with it, going to it was a pain to be honest and I did it out of duty. I imagine that people are busy with Christmas shopping etc. With smallish children, so much time is taken up feeding, cleaning up after them etc that 2 hours is quite a significant part of a week-end.

I also meant to add that I am sure most people realise the good stuff that PTA raised money is spent on, but I am also sure that a number of people would rather just hand you over a £20 note.

I work and went to the occasional parents association thing if on an evening and the kids wanted to come too, the xmas bingo tea was usually a laugh. I'd rather just give a donation than get involved in some of the stuff though, I do see it as an optional extra for parents who have spare time and are into that sort of thing though. I never feel guilty if I don't go to the dos, I do other stuff with my time instead that i consider equally worthwhile.
If only 3 people are interested in doing stalls then maybe doing stalls was a bad idea.

I dislike the PTA my daughter is only in recpetion and already we have had two non uniform days (at £2 each) a day where we were told to bring in A NEW toy (specifically told it had to be new) and soon there is a teddy bears picnic (at £2.50) and a no uniform day where they have to dress as a rainbow.
I always found it annoying but I have a friend who made me realise it can be a problem as I found her nearly in tears outside the school because her daughter wanted to go to the teddy bears picnic and she couldnt afford the ticket (she also couldnt afford the school branded book bag).

I am all for asking for asking for donataions but at this school the donations are expected and the children left out if parents dont pay.

Nicefleece, some people are just sad old cow bags that see school as free childcare and do not get involved at all, sad for their children really.

Interested to see lots of people referring to the fact that they work. Is it meant to be easier to help with the PTA if you don't work but have a house full of pre-schoolers?