to be really cross that NO ONE can be arsed to help at PTA fayre

[nicefleece]

I have volunteered to help out at the PTA Christmas Fayre. A note was sent out last week in all 410 book bags, asking for any volunteers to help set up / man the stalls.

3 people replied, one of them is the chair of the PTA

What the feck? Shall I ask the heads to mention it? Why are people so sodding selfish! I know people work, have other kids etc etc but really....

What next? Megaphone of shame in the playground? Sooooo cross and disappointed!

Golgi - Lol @ 'time to be on MN, time to run a grotto'
I have not time to do lots of stuff I would like to be able to do, so choose my volunteering to be with the cubs, don't have time for PTA also.
When I told this a few years ago to pushy PTA person, she went into a great monologue about all the commitments she had but she still did PTA. Irrelevant to me how busy SHE is , she was asking me to volunteer and I know I am too busy. End of.

i got to this post from moondog:

"So am I.

I don't have patience with disengaged folk.

As I said, teachers generally look at a kid, think of the parents and go
'She can't be arsed ,so why the fuck should I be?'

Beleive me, I know."

and I just can't read on. I'm furious and deeply offended. I get up at six and do chores, before taking my dd to school, then dash to work (at the centre of government mind, working on helping some of the most disadvantaged communities, mind) where I work incredibly long hours, dash home to see dd, put her to bed and do some more work then collapse into bed. alone. because I am a single parent.

Around this, I tutor, make birthday cakes, and help out a local charity. I can't physically do anymore. I do a lot for my local community.

How dare you judge me. You know nothing about me and my priorities and my choices. You owe me, and all the other parents working to keep their heads above water, an apology.

The idea of a person who works - oh, sorry, "paid works" - taking "a holiday" one year to help out with the PTA Christmas Fayre has to be one of the saddest/funniest things I have ever read on here.

Anybody who is actually in touch with the real world of work knows who preciously and jealously holiday days have to be guarded - especially when you work in a team and are fitting in around everyone else. And some parents are teachers - and therefore can't take their holidays when they choose.

I have tried to be sympathetic to nicefleece's predicament above, but this sort of uninformed rubbish doesn't help.

HOW not WHO

It's complete nonsense of course

But if it helps you to feel useful

Then go ahead and enjoy

Not good to castigate others for having more things to do IMO

If that's Your Thing, then just do Your Thing. don't expect everyone else to want to do it as well.

I do hate this sanctimonious bollocks, I really do. I've been swerving it for years. I do voluntary work, but I don't stand on street corners trying to conscript other folk into it.

And as for the officious PTA cow that shouted at me in the street that I should get involved- fuck off! I spend enough time in school as it is, and so do my kids.

YABU.

"The idea of a person who works - oh, sorry, "paid works" - taking "a holiday" one year to help out with the PTA Christmas Fayre has to be one of the saddest/funniest things I have ever read on here. "

I agree. I do help with the PTA but only in relation to events that are either useful in themselves (2nd hand uniform sales - disseminates cheaper uniform and good for planet) or at least harmless fun (quiz night). Turning the school into a screechy sweet shop with throwaway plastic tat changing hands briefly before going into landfill(so called "Christmas Fayre")? I won't cry if that's cancelled, frankly. Yes I want more sports equipment, but not at any price. I'll keep my opinions to myself in RL though, and I'll also start trying to change the "Fayre" a little this year by volunteering to play live Christmas Carols for charity so the kids get a bit of exposure to live music. If in this way money is diverted away from new sports equipment targets into a charity for bereaved children, then I will celebrate that frankly.

More applause for Lignette

Yes, my idea was to scrap the stupid Christmas Fair!

Instead, suggestions are:-

Book Fairs, educational and raise money for school and gets books

School Disco - £2.50 per child, raises over £750 at our school

School Nativity - donation of a £1 per head

Toy fairs - Jumble Sales - enterprise week with kids

Sponsored sports, for kids and parents

Totally happy to get involved in the above and have done FWIW.

Much better than a gaggle of pompus PTA's getting in a flap about tinsel and shitty gifts!

So Sassybeast, you were saying?

You sound likme one of those people who shout from the rooftops they help all the time, to get some sort of personal validation from the masses to boost your already fragile ego.

'Poor old us, the only one's who care about the poor little children, we are the only one's who help or care, the other selfsih parents are lazy and don't care, but we must carry on' GET OVER YOURSELF. PATHETIC.

I however, do what I do because I want to do it, not because some PTA member gets her knickers in a twist about some crap event.

And I don't feel the need to tell everyone about it either.

Cleaningsucks, can understand why you're offended, you already give a lot of time, can't do everything.

Have to be careful here or people will get the hump and not turn up to events if they feel the 'bossy monicas' (that's me I suppose, still run dd's pre-school committee - I was badgered persuaded into doing it!) are being judgey.

I have a friend who works part-time and can't bear the thought of committing to meetings in the evenings or giving any of her spare time when she recovers from her part-time nursing shifts. That's to be respected IMO, she will turn up though to anything with the children, xmas fetes etc.

People's antipathy to the PTA seems to blind them to the usefulness of fundraising in a cash-strapped environment. My children are lucky and have lots of books and access to play equipment. Some children at their school don't. Our school fairs raised money for a new kitchen so that all the children could have a healthy freshly prepared meal at lunchtime instead of reheated turkey gizzards. For some children on free school meals that's their best meal a day.

If people don't want to volunteer, they shouldn't. If they prefer to volunteer for something else, fine.

Beyond all this, the Christmas and summer fairs are major social events in the lives of the school, and a chance for lots of old pupils and local residents to come in and listen to the choir, have some tea and cakes, and pick up a few donated presents.

I've read to pg 9 of this thread, and I'm quite shocked at the dismissive attitude to what a good PTA can provide.

I was going to have a rant, but I thought better of it. OP, you are NOT unreasonable to be disappointed, but try not to get too cross. I rarely get letters sent home via DC's book bags, they must take them out and eat them or something...

Our PA always tells parents what we are raising money for (Last year it was interactive whiteboards, this year it's a playground shelter as our playground is quite exposed. Christmas cards are in aid of a local hospice trust) Try approaching parents you see at pickup time, since they are the ones who probably have the spare time. At the worst, they'll give you a good reason why they can't, and you'll feel better about it than the "oh I can't be bothered" that you seem to be imagining (and probably is, in a lot of cases, but they won't say that to your face and you'll have them! )

carocaro - so what you are saying is that only the events you like should be run?

My experience of book fairs is that the books are vastly overpriced. I used too run school link instead but sadly that has been taken over by expensive red books.

A Christmas is both second hand book sale and toy fair but open to those who can't afford 2.50 for a school disco.

Siiigh.

Do people actually like Fayres?

Cos I would say I'm of the 'liking fayres' type but.... I don;t think I really like them....

Agree with above - think of stuff people like doing..

Nothing to do with parents not wanting to support their PTA just a choice in how they do it.

I am our college's music teacher and find that putting events on at convenient times, making sure all are fed and watered, giving them something in return [some fun, looking after theirs kids etc] works wonders and that money is raised.

I'd rather spend £2.50 on a school disco that be forced to spend at least a £5 if not more on Christmas TAT.

No I am saying I will support things that I think are usefull, simple and make money for the school minus all the PTA hysteria as previously mentioned. And therefore don't need, as OP put it, a 'megaphone of shame' to those parents who don't want to be involved. She was getting in a flap as she presumed all parents are lazy, and 'sodding selfish' and don't want to get involved in anything, which is not AT ALL true.

RE: book fair, as it bring any old/unwanted books from home, not those organised ones from outside companies who rip you off at full price.

a practical suggestion for the OP - we used to have a stall or two run by "professionals". People who sell books/woodentoys/hand made cards/jewellery are sometimes willing to pay to have space at your events. This can be a flat rate or percentage of profits, although that requires trust on your part. The stalls mean that a Fair is not all "tat" and you need fewer helpers. It does mean that some money may be diverted from your stalls but maybe gets people to turn up who wouldn't come otherwise.

Also if you go for the personal approach to people you can tailor your request to the individual. So someone with not much money may be enticed to help by the opportunity to avoid an admission charge / get first look at what's available. The more competitive mothers may respond to pointing out that you can learn a lot about the school from parents with older children.

Good luck.

Our PTA is running a fair on a Saturday, and have asked people to help out for half an hour - they have listed all the activities as well so people can pick e.g. manning a stall, setting up etc. Maybe that would be a more successful tack to try? You need to mkae it as easy as possible or people simply will not help. I'll happily give up half an hour or so for a specific task, I probably wouldn't be so keen on just turning up for 2 hours and mucking in.

I absolutely HATED the peculiarly exclusive yet screechingly demanding way that dss's PTA functioned at both their primary and secondary schools - the same Monstrous Regiment transferring along with all our children! I particularly detested the assumption that you had to defend why you weren't able to man the hand-woven Christmas yoghourt stand or whatever. Work not being a valid excuse. Strangely enough, making sure that someone in the family came along on the day and spent money didn't count as any sort of involvement either.

Nowadays I'm involved in a couple of community-based sort of activities. On the committees of which we have, at last, reached a sensible conclusion:- if it is necessary to have a fit of hysterics over the lack of help at a forthcoming event then the event itself isn't worth trying to put on.

welcome to the club!

thats my life since last year when sasa started school. faced with mummy maffias/bullies - name it! i call them scarecrows to make me feel better

What I've often wished is that the PTA could be about more than fundraising.... Of course I appreciate the fundraising is useful and valuable and a huge part of what we do, those of us who want to get involved (and it's fine by me if others don't )

But in the meetings I've been to so far it all seems to be about blow-dried alpha mummies huffing and puffing over fine details of events. I appreciate that this is a necessary evil but it takes up the entire meeting and has made me feel a bit intimidated as a newcomer trying to get involved with the school 'community'.

I was initially hoping that going to PTA meetings would be a chance to get to know other parents, let off steam a bit about the stresses and strains of school/home balance and a chance for school issues to be discussed... how do we feel about this or that aspect of school policy? how is this or that aspect of the national curriculum affecting your child? what things would we like to see introduced here, etc. I assumed it would mean that I'd be more involved with DCs life at school and informed about what goes on there.

But no. It's all about who's doing what at the fete and ticking off items on a clipboard. I'm realising that volunteering as a classroom helper is a much better use of my time.

Still persevering with PTA, though. Maybe it'll get friendlier?!