to be really cross that NO ONE can be arsed to help at PTA fayre

[nicefleece]

I have volunteered to help out at the PTA Christmas Fayre. A note was sent out last week in all 410 book bags, asking for any volunteers to help set up / man the stalls.

3 people replied, one of them is the chair of the PTA

What the feck? Shall I ask the heads to mention it? Why are people so sodding selfish! I know people work, have other kids etc etc but really....

What next? Megaphone of shame in the playground? Sooooo cross and disappointed!

I am chair of our joint-PTA (for the 2nd time)as there were no other volunteers. I enjoy getting involved in things; other people don't and you can't make them. We have problems getting people to run stalls but it usually works in the end, Our Year 6 run a stall and sometimes help on others,it makes them feel more involved. You have to be sensitive to the mood of the school and if there are not enough people to help at an event then you can't run it, the parents can't complain about that if they didn't volunteer to help. We run a lot of fun and social events, as well as helping the school to buy things, we also maintain the adventure playground. The discos, bingo, easter eggs hunts etc are free to the kids so noone is excluded, but we can only do them if we raise money through the other events. If there are no volunteers we can't do these things and I think the social side of the school would be a lot poorer. We all moan about the number of fundraising things as well, the school had a non-uniform day (£1)and a coffee morning on the same day raising money for two different charities!
Most people support a charity that they hold dear and we have to spread our time and resources as we see fit. If you make people feel guilty for not giving to your charity, they never will.
Must go now and plan the Wildlife Club meeting, think about the Monday evening meeting for the Christmas Fayre...Oh and do my job as well. I love it really!!

LOL riven,

Havent read all-became so enraged and insulted by moondogs 'truism' that teachers cant be arsed with the children of parents that dont get involved....

BOLLOCKS

if this really is your experience than there are much wider issues at your school than the feckin PTA.
Never heard such a load of shite spouted by a parent in my 12 years of teaching

Re: the external charity thing (rather than PTA events) - it did get a bit much one term at our school - 4 different charity events in the first half of the term. A number of us pointed out that it was a bit much, especially considering we're in a catchment which has a huge spectrum of income levels.

School was really good about it and now they have one official charity each term (that the kids pick) and have just one event that term to cover it. It's made a big difference and I think we all enjoy that event and support it a lot more more knowing that it isn't just one of a steady stream we're going to get inundated with.

Maybe worth suggesting at your school if you're feeling a bit overwhelmed?

re. the idea of working parents 'just' taking a holiday now and then to help the PTA - I have 25 days holiday a year. That does not even cover the summer holidays. So I can't afford to waste a day's holiday to run a fayre. Its not as simple as that.

And I know people without paid jobs also work hard. But I have to work hard to do my paid job in order to keep a roof over our heads. Then we have all the housework, paperwork, laundry etc to do during the evenings. Plus of course spending time with DC and DH. So I do think its harder for me to do PTA stuff than a SAHM.

Rereading through the thread, I think it's really easy to get into an us and them scenario in your head - regardless of which "camp" you fall into - and it really isn't helpful for anyone. All it does is make both sides feel resentful and unappreciated.

Life isn't black and white, it's shades of grey. To nick Ben Goldacre's slogan and completely misuse it "I think you'll find it's a bit more complicated than that!"

I think if people see you having fun then some more will want to join in (I know a lot of our PTA do it for the social side - they genuinely enjoy each other's company - and that's far more attractive than a bunch of martyrs destroying themselves for the cause). There'll always be a few standing in the corner mumbling about cliques - the trick is to not take it personally and work with what you've got.

The attitude of PTA members getting pissed off with lack of help / working parents would just completley put me off volunteering - i work hard and do things in my time off which i enjoy with my family- which wouldn't be running a stall being bitched about by members of the PTA for not always being able to help out. perhaps if you changed your attitude you may get more helpers....

Blimey, I'm shocked at this thread. Didn't realise there was so much hatred towards PTA's! That will explain why our school has to beg so hard for help at any event.

Absolutely shocking. Everyone is busy, everyone's time is precious, if everybody offered to man a stall at the xmas fair for just 20 minutes then the whole thing would be a massive success, and the few that do run it at the moment wouldn't have to do the full 3 hours!

The parents who don't bother are quite happy to see their kids on the cycle track with the new mountain bikes, or using the newly decorated and filled library, or improving their IT in the computer room, or playing on the new playground equipment, or at a gardening club at lunchtime tending the allotment ..... I could go on and on. Maybe it's ignorance, maybe a lot of parents seriously believe that the Government would pay for all this.

Offer a bit of help and see if you enjoy it, you might be pleasantly surprised.

' Then we have all the housework, paperwork, laundry etc to do during the evenings. Plus of course spending time with DC and DH. So I do think its harder for me to do PTA stuff than a SAHM' - Fimble, believe it or not, SAHMs have to do some of this in the evenings too! It's not easy to do all that stuff and keep your children stimulated & interested. Often you need to be out and about with them so that they do see their peer group and get a little more stimulation than watching their parent do a pile of paperwork!

Sandyballs - I agree with everyone doing 20 mins - but it doesn't work like that. I have just offered to do some voluntary stuff while my son is at nursery and intended to only do a little bit. In reality, there is a lot to do and you end up getting sucked (or pushed) into it. It has put me off offering again.

I am a teacher. Attending PTA events at my DS's primary school is a buswoman's holiday and we don't go to all the functions but support when we can.

Our secondary school doesn't have an active PTA anymore and no has ever made a concerted effort to resurrect it. TBH I think the relatively prosperous area we live in means that the school's income through the Governor's fund is pretty substantial and lessons the need for everyone to run round like headless chickens at Christmas Fairs etc. I honestly believe busy parents would rather give in this way - even if it doesn't promote community relations .

In my experience my teaching colleagues who have been on PTA cttess really don't like the long meetings talking about raffle prizes when they really need to be at home with their families after a long day at work or marking / preparing for the next day. Unfortunately some PTAs get a reputation for being cliquey / power driven and this undermines the good work they do in raising funds for goodies for the school. I agree with Northernlurker's comments on the first couple of pages of this thread.

Thanks mumsnetters this thread has helped to resolve a potential dilemma.

Our local hospice fair is on 5th December. It is within walking distance, we go every year, last year they had a professional photographer taking photos of the DCs with santa at a very reasonable price, they always have yummy homemade mince pies and a great tombola. Plus its Marie Curie, a friend is the fund raising manager and all in all it's a great community event.

However got note in nursery folder today and discovered it clashes with PTA organised school fayre.

Pre this thread I would have agonised about which to go to, but now I know that if I dare to go to the school one and spend more than half an hour there I will be looked at and commented on unfavourably, we shall definitely be taking our cash to the Hospice fair.

Oh and dyaknow what I still care about my DS's development and well being.

people are totally selfish and lazy!
Some of our biggest contributors to our PTA do have full time jobs.
It helps all the children though, and I know those people are massively busy but ime they so often will only make an effort if it's directly for their own child.
But some FT workers manage it, it's just modern times.

A friend of mine had a year off work when she was studying and career changing and would not do one single hour of voluntary work ( I actually thought it would really help lift her spirits and get her into her community and contribute ) she comes from a family who just look after number one.
It sucks imo!

Mudandmayhem - completely agree with your comments, if everyone could do 20 minutes it would all work a treat, but in my experience, you end up getting roped in for loads more. That is exactly what happened to me, mainly because there are so few volunteers. It's a vicious circle, lack of volunteers = too much work for too few, word gets around that you have to do loads if you are on the PTA and nobody comes forward.

Needless to say, I do not volunteer anymore for PTA stuff (though I do bake cakes, send in money on non-uniform days and donate stuff).

suspect a lot of the bad feeling is because people feel guilty. Many of those who do nothing also contribute nothing financially. If you really don't want to be involved put the PTA on your christmas gift list.

hi

i was in charge of finding volunteers for the parents' association christmas fair last year.

ime, book bag inserts were one of the least effective ways of finding volunteers.

other things you might try:

• find out who did it previously and ask them if they are willing to help again (this was the single most effective method of getting people involved!)
• ask people running each stall to find their own volunteers (they will ask their school mates who are more likely to oblige for a friend than for a faceless note)
• canvass in the playgrounds at drop off/pick up time
• put a sign-up list somewhere, e.g. outside school office so people can put their names down there
• keep plodding on with the book bag inserts, you will need to do more than one

people are more likely to volunteer nearer the time.

some people just aren't interested - that's ok - find the ones who are!

hth and good luck.

btw, if you have a PTA committee or class rep system then i would expect all of those people to be volunteering!

so the conversation will go more like, "what shall i put you down for?" than "please can you help."

What about the children in all of this. Which is better for them, having parents who work all day, paid or not, and then are absent constantly through PTA etc, or parents who are there physically and mentally for their children after a long day at school. Some of the people who help at our school are the prima dona sort who like to be seen to do things for their own reputation, but I think their kids see very little of them.

keep forgetting to use question marks! Maybe I do need to get back to paid employment!

YABU

This is subject is a bore. People have not replied as they don't want to help.

I have been to many school fairs at different schools and all there seems to be is a load of old over priced tat from some wholesaler that parents buy because they feel they should.

Shitty candles. Crappy mugs. Secret Santa shite. Musical ties. Horrid mince pies. Parents hate it. Teachers hate it.

Keep it simple. Don't fret over grottos and the like, a cake sale in the playground is sufficient.

I think this whole fundraising schools thing is total and utter bullshit.

Why as parents we have to raise £ for a school we pay for anyway is beyond me.

If I have to gift any £, which I do releuctantly, I rather give £5 without all the bloody PTA Mothers hoo haa and be at home with my kids ot go somewhere wuite frankly better and part with my money!

Gosh I cant get over the spitefullness of some comments on here (and I am only on page 2 )

From my perspective:
If the Christmas Fayre is on a Saturday I, as a single mum, working full time, would do my absolute best to go along and help, just as I do at the Church Fete and the local community Coffeee and table top sale
However if it is 2.30 on a Tuesday afternoon I would struggle horribly and probably not go

I agree with whomever said be very very clear what you are asking for, and what would be useful- if you arent at the school gate all the time, the implied stuff passes us by IYSWIM? (like saying the harvest festival is on Wednesday at 2pm- translates to 'You need to get out of work and come to the school 20 mins BEFORE 2 pm on Wednesday to come and sob your eyes out and beam with pride watching your amazing kid and all his buddies sing and tell a story. I didnt know that and only just managed to get there, but arrived at 2pm to the chagrin of the collective crowd It still rocked tho )

I dont know the PTA yet, but I know they must work hard cos we have a gorgeous new play ground full of equipment that the school has agreed to keep open for 20 mins every day after school so even the nursery children can play on it. I cant imagine it was cheap or that it came out of state funds... Not that it will help DS get into Oxbridge of course but then I dont suppose it was ever designed to, and it does make him so so happy

I think you may be BU to EXPECT everyone to help, but not to hope that more than 3 from 400 would be able to find some time, and I can understand your disapointment

So Carocaro - ever offered to help improve things, offer some ideas or advice ? No ? Thought not....