to discipline my 13 month old?

[meltedchocolate]

He is my first DC.

He undertands when i am asking him not to do something (I say 'no' firmly) and knows fine well when he is being naughty. (He waits for me not to look and then runs over to whatever it is) If I have said no on several occassions and he still isnt listening i gentely slap the back of his hand (not that this seems to bother him in the slightest ) I also do the no and maybe slap hand bit when he throws one of his (unbelievable and reletively common) temper tantrums.

Sometimes I feel like I am being too harsh on him and sometimes i deffinately feel my mother thinks i am too harsh on him but he has such a temper (no idea where he could have got it from ) and he does know he is being naughty.

AIBU to discipline him like this? I hope I am not doing too much but I dont really know how to discipline him at the age he is at when he cant talk yet. How do you all discipline a child of this age?

Things keep changing. Ds always at the DVD player, then he just moved on to something else. Usually he gets a new interest just after we've worked out how to babyproof the old one!

why should I move the dvd player? I am not the OP, I don't have a problem with discipline or what happens to the dvd player and I wasn't asking for advice aitch.

I am happy to say no to my DS when he he does something I don't want him to do. If it wasn't a dvd player it would be the cat's tail or him banging on a glass door. Don't do that - it's just stuff he has to learn.

that book Dreamy linked to is interesting - would also recommend How Babies Think. Fascinating and entertaining read - written by experts but they talk about their own kids in a very light hearted way and confess to their own mistakes, it's not talking down to the reader at all.

Finding out about child development is important as it helps you to avoid having unrealistic expecations. And it's just interesting, anyway.

i know you weren't, mrsboogie, you're being veeery linear in the way you were reading my post. i was repeating my other post in light of your really kinda revolting one, as it happens.

revolting in what way? what did I say that was revolting?

ho-kaaaay, if you think that calling a little baby doing what babies do 'the little bugger' then, whatever.

oh I see. Right. Say no more.

ROFL that you came back to post a in case i thought you were being reasonable and pleasant. (which i had).

I dunno, it felt somehow incomplete without the

although I suppose I should really have done a

oh well...

lol, it was funny, wasn't it?

nothing wrong with teaching children, even babies, that some things shouldn't be touched. As long as you are prepared for them to ignore you. DS likes to poke things in the video slot on the tv. I can't really move the tv so I have to tell him 'no'. Of course he still does it, but each tim I say no it sinks in for that moment and will sink in for longer each time.

There is also nothing wrong with calling a child a 'wee bugger' if said with affection, as a joke. I describe DS as a little poohead if he won't sleep or something. Doesn't mean I don't love him. Or that I'm going to emotionally abuse him as he gets older.

I took 'wee bugger' how I think it was meant to be taken and don't mind. Unfortunately i cant move the Dvd player, but would have taken the advice if it had been possible.

I dont mind saying no to him but it will now be said gentely and followed by 'because LOOK what IIII have over HERE. Oooooooo!!'

precisely, melted.
if someone called my BABY 'the wee bugger' i would be highly pissed off. esp as mrsboogie could hardly have been saying it with affection as she's presumably never met him. personally i think that affectionate or not, it's innappropriate to call your child by negative nicknames. 'the wee bugger' not so long ago was outright swearing, and of course does mean a sodomist, as it happens.

'because LOOK what IIII have over HERE. Oooooooo!!'

remember not to have too high expectations of yourself either melty. And give yourself lots of praise every time you get it right!

meltedchocolate . I think some people are being a bit hard on you . I've a 13 year old and back then you were told that children learn the most in the 1st 2 years , you would have been told to gentle hit them on their bum as they are wearing a nappy so they didnt feel it , you cant sit down and tell a child what they are doing wrong. I have gentle hit my child a few times , sometimes it worked but the thing that did work was to take them and put them out of the room and then bring them back in after a minute. Our own parents would have slapped us all and it did no harm , I dont think its right to smack a child and hurt them and this is were the problem comes because children have been abused , but there is a different from a gentle slap and hurting a child . Hope you find a way that works for you .

I've just thought actually. I suppose I do smack my child if you're going to get pedantic about it. I pat him on the bum through his nappy as if i am playing the drums because he thinks it's hilaaaaaaaarious.

nappyaddict, me too, and we all play drums on each others stomachs for a giggle at bathtime.
Someone saw me pat DD1 on her bum once and said 'I thought you don't smack'
I don't, there is a world of difference between a little pat when you are both having fun and a smack/tap. I do think too hard about these thigns soemtimes.

I heard the other day someone preaching about how they don't smack, but then went on to say their little darling gets a spoonful of marmite or mustard when they are naughty Yeah cos that's so much better than smacking!

good lord are you for real aitch

Firstly the " wee bugger" I was referring t as my own child - not the OP's.

Secondly, it was used affectionately and anyone with an ounce of common sense would have understood as much. Sodomist indeed!!

You presumably do realise that people use terms like "little monster" and little devil about children in a flippant in a humorous fashion? and don't actually seriously mean that they are such things. If you take such throwaway comments literally you must go about being offended a lot of the time.

How is a spoonful of marmite a punishment

marmite has such a reputation that i am too scared to try it

I also 'play drums' but that is in total affection and often accompanies lots of tickling.

I call him 'cheeky chops' and 'chunky monk' that is OK isn't it? I don't actually say words like 'bugger' myself but dont find other mums saying it when talking to me offensive (over the internet anyway)

I have had such a great day with him. So much difference in me just realising I dont need to get stressed or upset. Only problem is when I told my sister how I didn't want to be slapping at all and didnt want harsh 'no's she started judging and ranting!

'Oh but he DOES understand!' (I did try explaining why and how he doesn't - no difference)

Anyway i have told her now. She has no children and hasn't a clue how to look after them at ALL so I don't know where she thinks she got her baby physcology degree from!

dreamy i like that - mabye i should shorten my name to melty

i am for real, you didn't say little monster and you weren't talking about your child. it's a crappy way to refer to a baby, your own or not. plenty of research indicates that if you label your children at an early age they go on to live up to your labelling, it's something people should be wary of doing, even if they think it's a term of affection. maybe you were unaware of this?

Agree with Aitch

'the little bugger' is only a whisper away from my pet peeve, 'the little shit'. Extremely disrespectful way to refer to a child, and I also didn't think you were talking about your own child. You're trying to soften what you actually said when picked up on it, mrsboogie.

Imvho, obviously.

he is just a little baby.You dont discipline babies!!Even a tap on the hand is abusive imho-sorry I just think that makes me feel a bit sick.You distract him,pick him up,give him a cuddle,a tickle,a toy you do not ever hit a baby.