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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

for resenting having to look after friends child

491 replies

Kamikatze · 03/11/2009 15:40

I'm an older mum with two kids at uni and my 7 yr old surprise dd still living at home (kind of obvious?) Anyway, I've been thru the hectic young mum years when I never seemed to find time to just smell the roses and am now enjoying every minute of being with my dd, just chilling.
When my dd first started school I was approached by a mum with a son same age as dd. I had not made any effort to socialise at the school gate, been there done that, except for of course slight chitchat and making play dates and so on. ANYWAY(will I ever get to the point?)
This other mum, Jane, decided to get a part time job cos she was bored at home. Her dh works 9 to 5 and is always home to bath kids, make dinner. My dh is often away on business trips and hardly ever home bfore dds bedtime. I'm used to it and these days, don't get uptight about it.
Jane has started calling me several times a week to ask me to pick up her kid and keep him at ours until she or her dh comes to pick him up. I don't work away from home so feel guilty to say no, but I resent having to look after her son so many times a week. I want to spend this time with my dd and no one else. I wouldn't say anything if my dd was happy with the situation but she isn't happy specially cos she's in the "boys are yukky" phase. I feel bad for resenting this child and overcompensate by being extra nice to him which leaves dd feeling jealous. Can anyone come up with an idea of how I can get out of this very one sided arrangement, or should I just accept it and say nothing? Maybe I'm just an old kvetcher and should hang my head in shame for getting pissed off about small things? Please advice!!

OP posts:
Casserole · 16/11/2009 17:19

Tinkerbelle I think it's time to step away from the HomeDetective Channel...

Ignore it all Kami. MNHQ would have been in touch if they were concerned. It's just The Thing To Do on here at the moment.

justfornownamechange · 16/11/2009 17:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PercyPigPie · 16/11/2009 22:55

I can be a bit of a sucker for stories like this but I don't think she is making it up. Sadly I have come across a few people like Jane.

It's not the most exciting story is it? I'm not quite sure why it has grabbed our collective attention like it has and I think a troll would go for something a bit more dramatic than taking the mickey with playdates.

NonnoMum · 16/11/2009 23:18

Sorry - completely out of time and obviously only ready the first part of this... D'oh.

Kamikatze · 17/11/2009 14:45

I couldn't have said it better than the last few posts.
I also agree that this is a BORING and MINOR problem, and I'll be forever grateful if life doesn't get worse than this. My beautiful, sweet DD has her Mummy all to herself again, and I intend to enjoy every minute of our time together.

OP posts:
scaryteacher · 19/11/2009 13:41

Desolate knows nothing about the Royal Navy either Kami - far too many inaccuracies and inconsistencies in what she has posted.

FWIW, I have known women like Jane and have known people who have sent taxis and takeaways around to people they wanted to annoy. They were usually sixth formers. Jane doesn't seem to have grown up yet. Some people are just leeches and users and the only way to deal with them is to walk away. I found moving the other side of the channel helped as well.

StrawberriesandCherries · 24/11/2009 20:47

Just being nosy wondering how things are Kami?

Kamikatze · 27/11/2009 23:16

Wow, I'm surprised that the thread is still here and glad for the last two replies. I can't say much cos I don't want to sound far fetched but I'm now pretty sure that Jane has sent us a few things we never ordered. Nothing dramatic and I think she's calmed down cos JANE HAS AN AU PAIR!!!
I saw her the other day, she looks sweet and young (the aupair that is) and I can only hope that Jane doesn't treat her badly. Also, my DD has been chosen to be an angel in the Nativity play. I'm so excited, despite having to come up with some sort of angel costume.

Scaryteacher, I have to say I'm surprised that Desolate wasn't genuine, I felt really sorry for her.
Wishing you all the best Christmas and thanks again for all your help! I saw that there's an article in The Daily Mail about MNetters being nasty. Well, I wish they saw this thread and realised how helpful MNetters can be.

OP posts:
figrollinthehay · 04/01/2010 13:07

Any news on Jane OP

Kamikatze · 26/02/2010 23:52

Figrollinthehay...
Everything has been quiet on the Jane front, things have
thawed a bit between us...we say hi and force a smile and try to act civil to each other.

Jane's first au pair defected to another family and Jane now has an older lady who helps her out with school runs etc.

My DD and I are happy with our non eventful lives.

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 27/02/2010 00:00

Jolly glad to hear it

groundhogs · 27/02/2010 00:50

God I was only wondering about this earlier today... great news!

gtamom · 28/02/2010 11:10

Either say no, or never pick up the phone when she calls. BTDT.

gtamom · 28/02/2010 11:12

Just realized there are 20 pages in this thread...and I replied a bit late, lol.

StealthPolarBear · 28/02/2010 11:12
Smile
gtamom · 28/02/2010 12:09

Just finished reading it. So glad there was a happy ending.

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