for resenting having to look after friends child

[Kamikatze]

I'm an older mum with two kids at uni and my 7 yr old surprise dd still living at home (kind of obvious?) Anyway, I've been thru the hectic young mum years when I never seemed to find time to just smell the roses and am now enjoying every minute of being with my dd, just chilling.
When my dd first started school I was approached by a mum with a son same age as dd. I had not made any effort to socialise at the school gate, been there done that, except for of course slight chitchat and making play dates and so on. ANYWAY(will I ever get to the point?)
This other mum, Jane, decided to get a part time job cos she was bored at home. Her dh works 9 to 5 and is always home to bath kids, make dinner. My dh is often away on business trips and hardly ever home bfore dds bedtime. I'm used to it and these days, don't get uptight about it.
Jane has started calling me several times a week to ask me to pick up her kid and keep him at ours until she or her dh comes to pick him up. I don't work away from home so feel guilty to say no, but I resent having to look after her son so many times a week. I want to spend this time with my dd and no one else. I wouldn't say anything if my dd was happy with the situation but she isn't happy specially cos she's in the "boys are yukky" phase. I feel bad for resenting this child and overcompensate by being extra nice to him which leaves dd feeling jealous. Can anyone come up with an idea of how I can get out of this very one sided arrangement, or should I just accept it and say nothing? Maybe I'm just an old kvetcher and should hang my head in shame for getting pissed off about small things? Please advice!!

OMG Well done you.

KEAWYED - are you from Westhoughton? I haven't heard that expresssion in years. And unlikely to in Oz, but you never know.

By the way, OP; I've been following this thread. How splendid you stood up to her, and how predictably she behaved.

Yes I am echt. OMG no one normally has a clue!!

Are you from this neck of the woods?

Well at least she has fallen out with you and now will never ask you again, ever!!!!! you did well

at her
well done

If you spot her trying this on with some other poor unsuspecting mum, please rat on her. People like this are serial users.

what expression? "well done you"?
[nosey]

Wow Kami you are a solid sort -- congratulations a million times. What a dreadful, dreadful, appalling, ghastly, hideously ungrateful, deluded, selfish, shameless witch you've dealt with.

You must have been so shaken up. The fact that she went off on one means a. you have absolutely no doubt you've done the right thing and b. you will never be asked again in "an emergency".

Trebles all round. You are a star.

Yes, I am, KEAWYED, a Leyther, but now transplanted. Lots of Poms in this neck of the woods, though few from t'North.

Is that my well done you. there was meant to be a comma between OMG and that.

Wish I had OPs guts!!!

just read the tirade again

box of frogs

you are so well rid

I can't believe all the amazingly kind comments from you! I wish I could thank each one of you individually. Chocolates, champagne and flowers is what I'd like to give you.
To think that I was so deluded that I thought I'd get answers like: why are you moaning about looking after the child, since you're not working? etc, is proof that I let myself be brainwashed into believing that Jane's expectations of me were normal.
FABSTER: It's so crazy it's funny. He called and said he'd heard that I take a cab to school, and how stupid that is, since school is just a 15 minute walk away. I told him then that as he's not paying for the cab, he shouldn't worry and that they use their car every day despite living as near school as I am. It was truly bizarre how disturbed they got cos of my taxi habits. MUTT: You seem to know just how I'd react, that I'd start dwelling on her comments sooner or later. I'm really going to try my hardest not to.
So far, no call from her DH. And yes, I will rat on her if she tries to snare some other unsuspecting mum into her childcare trap.

Don't waste a minute dwelling on her nasty comments- just keep thinking how nice it is to have your dd to yourself from now on. The woman and her husband both sound like crackpots to me.

I'd rat on her anyway, tbh, after that very public scene. Although anyone who saw it will be thinking 'what a loon'.

Not far away then, I take it you mean Leigh. See you escaped haha

Am in awe of your bravery in standing up to her! That took some guts. Well done, she is a complete nutjob, enjoy your time with your DD.

Well done you!

Have a nice drink and remember how your dd's face lights up when you tell her it's just you and her....

Forget the cow and all she's said.

Well done for standing up to her and putting a stop to it!
I can well believe that people are like this, it happened to me though to a slightly lesser extent than the OP.
The only way I could stop it was to give birth!
Let us know if anything else happens.

Well done Kami, ignore the comments and carry on enjoying dd with the certain knowledge Jane sure as hell isn't getting the same pleasure from her ds and it is her ds who is missing out not yours.
I'm icing biscuits with my dd tonight another little girl who has a doting mummy who loves every minute they spend together.
Find something fun to do and forget her.

Very well done indeed. You told her your reasons very clearly and you took the high ground when she flipped at you. You should be very proud of yourself and what a fantastic example you were to your daughter. You are so worth having as a mother. Very inspirational.

She sounds completely self centred and nuts. She was obviously just using you, but the unpleasant tirade was completely OTT.
You're clearly well rid of her, just a shame it had to end so unpleasantly, suspect I'd be shaking a bit if someone yelled at me like that when all I was doing was stopping doing them a favour.
The personality attacks were completely uncalled for.

Well done You handled that brilliantly!

Well done Kami. Don't worry about what she says about you, anybody sensible will either already have her measure or will see through her very soon.

Both she and her DH sound like classic emotionally abusive partners who have somehow not managed to marry someone they can bully and are reaching out to bully those around them instead. The whole rant (in private) about how she was doing you a favour is very odd indeed, and her DH trying to tell you how to live your life WRT taking taxis is shocking.

I can't believe this woman... Mind you, if the husband does come back, she's given you the most terrific "out"...

"Well, it all seems to have worked out for the best - Jane says your DS doesn't much like my DD anyway - so he obviously wasn't happy with the arrangement. Perhaps you can now find somewhere he's happier..."

Well done.

They sound like a family of loons tbh.

If the wine hasn't helped yet try a scotch. In several years you'll be able to look back on it and laugh. Plus you will now actually have some after school time where your dd can have friends around if she chooses!