to think people should offer some help to a person travelling alone with three children?

[emkana]

I finally lost it when I tried to get off the bus at the longstay car park, trying to stop ds from running off, trying to unfold the pushchair, poor dd (6), bless her, trying to lift out the suitcase for me - and a bus full of people was just sat there, watching us. So I said to dd, but really to people in general "would you believe it that people will just sit and watch a six year old trying to lift a suitcase" to which some w*er replied "well it's not my responsibility is it"

ffs

i get the bus a lot with dd2 in pushchair and three year old dd1 floating around, we always get help offered. i must live in a better area than you.

This was at Gatwick Airport, luckily I don't live there.

I anticipated this problem when I took the DC on a plane recently, so spent the extra money on paying for valet-parking for the car. Bloody bliss.

I'm shocked nobody helped you, emkana.

YANBU
I had to fly to Morocco via Gibraltar on my own with DS and far too much stuff (formula for 6 weeks etc, very bad planning on my part) and easyjet made me take DS out of the buggy to fold it to get on the transfer bus - at 6am, he was asleep, with two big hand luggage bags. They also refused to help me carry the pushchair onto the bus for 'health and safety'. The woman actually said the words 'If you can't manage to fly alone with a baby you shouldn't do it'.

About 5 seperate people offered to carry my pushchair and bags. If nobody had offered I would literally have cried right there and then.

Later in the journey people also helped me with the suitcase on and off the ferry. Couldn't have done that journey without the kindness of strangers. Learnt my lesson about travelling light with babies though!

Mayor,You sound like Dick Cheyney circa lateish in Bush regime."I can neither confirm or deny..." LOL

Are you a legal bod?

true. i do think that someone would have helped if you'd just asked them nicely, em.

a legal bod with a politics degree.
needless to say what is a far more pertinent question is how my learned opponent propose we move on dynamically from while keeping an eye on the past but by no means being bound by the ties of history.

*dynamically from here...

{bangs head against wall}

I was incapable of asking because I was too busy trying to simultaneously contain ds, unfold a pushchair and get the luggage off the bus. By the time I got sarky all that needed doing had been done, apart from lifting off the last suitcase.

This is one of my pet-hates. Is there no sense of community these days?

I can't beleive the roasting you're getting

Selfish passengers deserve nothing more than what they got

They should hope when they're old or infirm that they are perfectly capable all the time; after all, what goes round.....

I dont think you should have to ask & I cant see how people dont notice that others need help.

What are you meant to do - shout out loudly 'will someone help me?' or do you just approach people individually, one by one, nearest first, and if they refuse, move on to the next one until you get a yes?! What if they all say no?

I never used to ask for help & just hoped someone would offer. One day, many years ago, when I was really struggling, I asked one of the station staff (at station referred to above) to help me lift my heavy buggy up the stairs & was told no, that wasnt his job & I should have gone to the station 2 miles away which has level access. Nice.

A lovely lady assisted me from the Post Office to my car last week and I've only got 2 DC !! She offered without me saying anything and helped us cross a busy road. I could have managed on my own but seemed churlish to turn down an offer kindly meant.

I'm a northern though, can you fly out from up here instead of that there London in future??

don't bang your head against the wall, i just don't understand why doing all those things affected your vocal chords so. or your pleading eyes.

We should forget about above aforementioned arguement and perceive it as my defendent having had a shit day and cut her some slack.

(Speaking as a humble nurse with no legal background who is chav enough to regularly use public transport with young children, one who has sn)

Failing that I will manfully shake your hand and agree to disagree,lol.

yabu

Well, I don't know if muttering loudly and sarcastically was the right thing to do, but it is what I would have done in your situation emkana.

I think emkana showing her frustration and dissatisfaction is a lesser crime than the people who sat and failed to offer help.

hatesponge at our tube station the bloke who mans the big door next to the little ones - you know the thing they are supposed to open to let people with suitcases, pushchairs etc through - he buggers off as soon as he sees anyone approaching who might need it opened. Every single bloody time.

but aitch, I was trying to stop ds from running off, so I was actually outside the bus which made it very difficult to ask people inside the bus for help. Ds is very quick on his feet, but not very risk aware. In the meantime my beautiful dd's were trying to manage the luggage for me inside the bus, and people did nothing. Once I had caught ds, unfolded the pushchair and strapped him in I went back inside the bus to help dd with the suitcase, and that's when I made the comment.

jesus christ!!!
is this really mumsnet???????????

i think it apalling that no one helped you. but i find it more apalling that people on here think you shouldnt have travelled with three kids on your own.
to the twat who thinks it isnt his responsiblity to help a six year old? perhaps if he was an amoeba, it wasnt, but as a member of the human race, it was.

i am simply too horrified....

Alone with a dc or more it is nice for other people to help - if they think that they might get to their bloody cars sooner then they may well have done.

Had this in the past with BA flight, on the return flight was alone with dd, she didn't stand then and not only did everyone (i was last person on plane but first at the gate ) push in front of me and push me out the way, when I got to the plane with buggy and hand luggage and small child was asked for my ticket, at the bottom of my bag by then. Air Hostess offered to dig around in my bag (I'm sorry but ) for it and when I declined and asked her to hold dd, she told me it was against their policy to help in this way and that if I didn't hurry up the plane would lose its slot. Fortunately a very nice man (who obviously didn't want to get delayed) said OFGS and glared at the Air Hostess and offered to hold my child.

Was then ignored the whole way back by all the air hostess'. Know how frustrating it can all be and feel for you. I also could not refrain from sarky comments!!!!!!

Basically people sat and watched a 6yo girl struggling with big suitcases and felt (rightly apparently) that there was no need to offer a hand, as she hadn't asked.

Emkana - I would have undoubtedly helped you.

You cannot, however, expect that people will help you.
Someone who has been in your situation is far more likely to help than someone who hasn't got a clue how difficult things can be. I often find that it's the little old ladies who offer a helping hand more than anyone!

I agree with what others have said on this thread though - it is pointless being a martyr and struggling on, you should have opened your mouth and asked for help, and if you weren't prepared/able to do that, no way should you have reacted with sarcasm. Your children aren't their responsiblity - they're yours. You have no idea to the other passengers circumstances, or even if they're in a position to help even if they wanted to.

So, by and large, YABU. But I do feel your pain, and yes, I dearly wish we could live in a more altruistic society.

YANBU, I would have helped you and I'd have been embarrassed and thoroughly ashamed if my dh or adult dds had ignored someone struggling like you did. Not that they would have dreamed of it.

What a self-centred and unhelpful society we have become and