to think people should offer some help to a person travelling alone with three children?

[emkana]

I finally lost it when I tried to get off the bus at the longstay car park, trying to stop ds from running off, trying to unfold the pushchair, poor dd (6), bless her, trying to lift out the suitcase for me - and a bus full of people was just sat there, watching us. So I said to dd, but really to people in general "would you believe it that people will just sit and watch a six year old trying to lift a suitcase" to which some w*er replied "well it's not my responsibility is it"

ffs

Goodness! Guess I really, really shouldn't have taken that 7 hour trip to cornwall a few years ago lovechoc. I mean I had a 7 year old and a 2 year old and yet I travelled all on my own. And I was actually helped with my bags and DCs a couple of times!

Next time i think about going on a long distance trip or a holiday, I really will pause to consider the feelings of those who might feel obliged to help me beforehand. I know, in future I'll ask someone to accompany me before stepping out the door, or better still, not take any journey that may result in my needing any help at all. Obviously, to ensure that doesn't happen, I will need to consult my horoscope in advance first. But hey, I wouldn't want to actually rely on my fellow humans for help, despite the fact that I do it myself! That would make me presumptious and selfish.

Gosh does no one actually understand? No one is saying that the people were right not to help. No one is saying that they themselves wouldn't help. No one is saying that they don't teach their children to help. What we are saying is DON'T EXPECT THAT YOU ARE GOING TO GET HELP. And the OP proves that it is perfectly sensible advice.

Isn't it amazing how when you are pregnant for the first time, people treat you so nicely? Yet the more you have the more they clearly think "more fool you then"!!

I remember the world palpably feeling about ten percent meaner again after the pregnancy, and initial tiny baby stage with my first!

No that's fair enough lovechoc. I will call my widowed mother in Germany right away and tell her I'm not coming to see her anymore because I just shouldn't venture out far with my three children, silly me.

And I think all of you on here who are having a go at me are completely bonkers.

"Gosh does no one actually understand? No one is saying that the people were right not to help. No one is saying that they themselves wouldn't help. No one is saying that they don't teach their children to help. What we are saying is DON'T EXPECT THAT YOU ARE GOING TO GET HELP. And the OP proves that it is perfectly sensible advice."

this

I posted earlier on the thread but honestly the logical extension to what some are saying is that women should not invade the public space with very small children.

Perhaps we should all hide away until we can be sure that we won't need help from anyone.

Maybe I'm a bit off the wall but I feel strongly that people with small dcs have as much right to travel as everyone else in society.

And that the powers that be should be making an effort to make it as easy as possible to do that.

Because the subtext of the authorities not doing that is saying that women (or men) travelling with young dcs are really not that important in society.

But the op didn't say she expected to be helped, she said should people offer to help.

Yes people should offer to help.

Exactly hazeyjane. When planning my journey I made sure it could be done entirely without help (I planned how many bags/suitcases I could take etc), all I'm saying is it would have been a nice touch to have others' help.

Excuse me for being cynical, but it's a mean world out there, and you shouldn't expect help, that was actually my point. obviously certain posters are jumping on the bandwagon at bashing those with a difference of opinion.

Good for you OP for trying your best to travel out to visit a relative with three children, it is not a surprise though that many people didn't offer to help.

It is unfortunate that when you struggled a bit coming off the bus no one offered to help out. I think that's just typical of this day and age. In general, it's a selfish world we live in and only occasionally will some kind souls prove otherwise.

How terrifying smallwhitecat So glad that somebody thought that it was her responsibility to help.

YANBU emkana.

wow, i can't believe anyone would think you shouldn't go places with child/children if you might need help!

fwiw, shortly after i had my ds i had to go alone to Great Ormond St Hospital with him (so, not exactly a "pleasure trip" and one i had no choice in making) and had to go on trains (then tube) from Cornwall (to London). however, i am pleased to say lovely people helped me at every stage - and i knew i'd have to rely on the kindness of strangers for stairs etc.

it made a difficult experience so much easier and i think lots of people really enjoy having the opportunity to help others in general. don't let a bad experience put you off.

I help where I can, but would not if I had heard the peron make a rude comment about it!

OP - next time, book the valet parking service. It will be worth every penny.