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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in thinking that if we have monthly income of £3700 net we could spare £120 to spend on a cleaner?

769 replies

effedorf · 01/11/2009 20:03

3+ years posting here, namechange for obvious reasons.

But, seriously, what do you think?

The income all comes from dh and I am sahm. We have two primary school age children. I truly hate cleaning and I do 95% of the food shopping and cooking and 100% of the laundry and 95% of all the other things that makes a family tick over.

Or am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
SCARYspicemonster · 01/11/2009 21:25

If you want to have a cleaner, have one. Just adding to my mystery as to what SAHMs with school age children actually do all day long though ...

DreamsInPyrotechnics · 01/11/2009 21:26

YANBU

As an earlier poster said, having a cleaner has stopped a lot of arguments between DH and I. I find cleaning soul-destroying, too. How many hours for GBP120?

giddykipper · 01/11/2009 21:27

That's why I want to be one spicemonster!

Mutt · 01/11/2009 21:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StephHaydock · 01/11/2009 21:28

I HATE cleaning.

I would put having a cleaner way above lots of other luxuries on my list. It's the most necessary luxury for me, if that makes sense. If you can afford it, all the better. Nobody actually likes cleaning the loo, do they?

SCARYspicemonster · 01/11/2009 21:29

What - a cleaner or a SAHM?

I've been a cleaner - it's easy money in most houses

thesecondcocking · 01/11/2009 21:31

we havent't got a lot of money,i pay someone to do my drying and folding (can't justify getting them to wash it too) purely because doing the washing takes over my life and house and i can just wash it all on a monday and pick it up dry and folded ready to go away on a tuesday...
i didn't give up work to wait hand and foot on everyone. get a cleaner

giddykipper · 01/11/2009 21:31

Especially at £120 per house

MarshaBrady · 01/11/2009 21:31

I don't get why women are so keen for other women to be stuck behind the hoover just because they do not do paid work.

Who cares what sahms do all day, probably have a great time... not cleaning.

StephHaydock · 01/11/2009 21:35

Totally weird that people are against having a cleaner!?!

I take it all you naysayers feel the same way about employing gardeners, window cleaners etc?

lilolilmanchester · 01/11/2009 21:37

not sure why you need to ask that question on here tbh...if you can afford a cleaner and want one, do it, don't feel guilty about it. Just remember there are people posting on here who are trying to make that amount stretch for a month's food bill. Not to say you can't ask the question, of course you can, just be careful how you phrase it.

TheBolter · 01/11/2009 21:38

Have to say I agree with VioletHill. I have a cleaner but it's because I work p/t and still have a child at home on my days off. So I really struggle to find time to do the bathrooms etc...

In fact my cleaner can only do term time so I still have to do the cleaning during the hols. Also my cleaner only does 2.5 hours a week - enough to do all the essentials but I still seem to be on a never-ending cycle of washing and tidying etc.

I'm not saying you should be a martyr but if my dh was at home with 30 hours a week to himself (sounds like bliss) I would expect him to facilitate the running of the household by doing the cleaning.

Inghouls2 · 01/11/2009 21:39

3700 a month isn't that much... your dh is self employed and as the economy isn't that hot right now you should be putting money aside incase work dries up.

SCARYspicemonster · 01/11/2009 21:48

I care because I think a good relationship should be about both of you making an equal contribution. If one of you is spending most of their time watching jeremy kyle/at the hairdressers/fannying about/drinking martinis then you're on a bit of a sticky wicket. It goes hand in hand with the 'expecting men to pay on dates' thing I think.

MarshaBrady · 01/11/2009 21:50

Do you not think forfeiting the ability to take a decent job to be around for the dc after school is not a contribution?

SCARYspicemonster · 01/11/2009 21:55

It's a contribution. I don't think it's equal (unless you have agreed between you that there is no way on earth you want to put your children in afterschool care). Having said that, I'm a WAHM so I am probably horribly biased about the value of having a smiling mummy spending 6 hours at home a day so she can be standing outside the school gates at 3 though.

EdgarAllenPoo · 01/11/2009 21:58

although having seen on another thread some people think it is wrong for a SAHM to hire a cleaner, i say - why not if you can afford it?

MarshaBrady · 01/11/2009 22:03

All added up, I'd say it's equal.

The husband can be rest assured that he can fly o/s at drop of hat, or stay late not worry about getting home on time. Concentrate on progressing career.

Sahm probably cooks, picks up dc, homework etc. No cleaning.

And this works for EITHER gender in my mind.
My friend runs her own business and her dh cooks and does more childcare. They still have a cleaner.

It's an awful relentless thing to have to do day in day out, and it improves the mind to not have to imo.

If the sahm does get bored but still wants to be around, well develop something new - a new flexible career. I too am a wahm, and do love it, have a cleaner so hardly any cleaning!

TheBolter · 01/11/2009 22:03

Marsha, that's a good point but I don't believe that's always the case.

I know several women who have no interest in going back to work. They will quite openly admit that they gave it up because they could afford to and that they feel no loss or sacrifice whatsoever. (I'm not saying that is necessarily the OP's prerogative btw).

And that's fine, each to their own. I was a sahm for several years before I returned p/t, (although I never got to experience the luxury of five days off a week) and it was great, but I saw cleaning as part of the job. I hate it but there are shitty things to do in almost every job.

I actually think it's something the OP and her dh need to resolve but I can understand why he'd feel pissed off that's all. She needs to respect his thoughts too.

Heathcliffscathy · 01/11/2009 22:03

good god woman, ignore the guilt trippers and the naysayers and get a cleaner woman!!!

Ronaldinhio · 01/11/2009 22:03

or you could worry less about having a clean house and hope that one day aggie and the other one will arrive for a cleanup

I annoyingly like to do bits of organised cleaning and do a room a day roughly
we used to have a cleaner but this works better for me now tbh

Heathcliffscathy · 01/11/2009 22:03

sorry about the double woman there...

TheBolter · 01/11/2009 22:04

Marsha that was in response to your penultimate post. My brain is too slow.

Ronaldinhio · 01/11/2009 22:05

in the end though it's your money and you should spend it how make you both happy
if you think life is too short for you to scrub floors and bogs pay a cleaner to do so

stop worrying about it

Original poster
effedorf · 01/11/2009 22:08

Tbh, the question is purely about finances and cleaning. Which is why I put the sums in the op, to get it all out in the open.

Very interesting opinions. Many thanks all. I am going to try and find the money from somewhere because, tbh, cleaning makes me miserable and living in chaos also makes me miserable. However, I still want to be at home for my little dc for a couple of years yet.

OP posts:
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