in thinking that if we have monthly income of £3700 net we could spare £120 to spend on a cleaner?

[effedorf]

3+ years posting here, namechange for obvious reasons.

But, seriously, what do you think?

The income all comes from dh and I am sahm. We have two primary school age children. I truly hate cleaning and I do 95% of the food shopping and cooking and 100% of the laundry and 95% of all the other things that makes a family tick over.

Or am I being unreasonable?

Kitty: your statement "Of course a SAHM (with school age children) should do the childcare, laundry, cooking, shopping, etc".

Why should she? Even if her dh is out at work, it doesn't mean that some of the household tasks shouldn't be split. Are you suggesting that she never gets any time to follow her own interests? My dh plays sport every weekend for a whole day. I take time during the week to follow my own interests - and we share some of the jobs on your list.

As merrylegs says it doesn't really matter what you've got coming in, it's what you've already got going out and how much is left over would decide whether you could afford a cleaner or not.

get one

I hate loads of bits about my job. Still have to do them though.
Maybe DH could help more with the stuff you really don't like.

kitty, the lady 'needs' a cleaner for the same reasons many MNers 'need' a mechanic. Not because she doesn't have time to do the work, nor because she doesn't have the ability to do the work/learn to do the work, but because she just doesn't damn well want to waste precious time doing something she doesn't like. So following on from that, how many of you employ a mechanic when your car needs an oil service instead of doing it yourselves...?

OK, Ok, I know that Dealer servicing is necessary for the upkeep of warranties but you must surely get my drift.

I repeat... lifes too damn short, if you want to employ a cleaner effedorf, go for it!

depends on your overall income and expenditure and onyl you and your dh kow that.

Get a cleaner. If you can afford it. Life's too short.

(I have just asked for an extra morning at nursery for DD1. She is 2. I am SAHM)

if you want a cleaner and can afford a cleaner then get a bloody cleaner!

why should OP be forced into doing work she hates just because she's a SAHM.

Ok, so the kids do go to school but she can spend that time doing laundry and tidying and shopping and cooking and baking and other jobs less mind-numbing than cleaning.

Just because some people choose to do their own cleaning despite looking after ten children and working 80hrs a week or becuause some people have no choice but to do their own does NOT mean that it's somehow morally dubious to pay someone else to do it if you can and want to.

Get one if you can afford one. With school-age children and you a SAHM (so no childcare costs) it sounds like £120 a month is affordable. I'd much rather clean my house and get a new bag every month, but there you go

OP you're going to have to explain why it isn't a no brainer for you. You hate cleaning and your income suggests (although I understand this may not be the case) that you can easily afford it. I don't understand where the issue arises?

If someone was on income support, nobody would bat an eyelid about that person mentioning their paltry income.

The OP was just stating income, not bragging. Sometimes it feels like that only the poor are allowed to advertise their situation.

As for OP question, it is up to you to spend your money how you like. However, if your children are at school and you are at home, I don't understand the big deal about cleaning. It is not as if it will take you all day everyday. Why not put Radio 4 on whilst doing ait nd that will make the time pass more pleasurably plus you will broaden your mind. Cleaning should only take about an hour a day if that!

Are you talking about actual cleaning or tidying up? If tidying up, make sure your DC tidy up after themselves because it is usually children's toys strewn everywhere that causes stress.

PMSL Mutt. And I couldn't agree more!

I hate loads of things about my job too and if I could pay someone else to do them for me I would, its the same thing isn't it? I don't see the problem

I work part time. I have a cleaner. I wasn't working part time so that I could spend the non-work days at home cleaning: I wanted to be at home spending time with my DD. DH is not the best at cleaning up TBH and it def makes life easier when the only thing I need to think about is washing and ironing. It does keep me tidier though: in the periods when we haven't had a cleaner, the house just gets messy as we don't feel the need to clear the clutter away and we do clear the clutter so that the cleaner can "clean" (I do not pay her to tidy). However, there are def implications for DD - when will she learn how to do it . ..? I was brought up with working parents and both my sister and I were expected to look after the house and cook (when old enough) - so it's not as if I can't do it - but not sure when to get DD to start chipping in and we can get rid of the cleaner!

Littlefish- when I said childcare, I meant childcare during her DH's working hours. There is plenty of other time during the week to do the other jobs on the list and still be able to pursue your own interests during the day. The OP hasn't mentioned anything about her DH not being involved at the weekend or playing sport all day (as you have). She just doesn't like cleaning.

Look, housework is miserable shitwork and it's far better to pay someone else to do it, if you can afford to. You'd be giving someone else income which they need (cleaning another person's house for money is far less depressing than cleaning your own for no recognition or pay). Go ahead.

£120 is absurd when you have the time to do it. If you don't like cleaning I suggest you go and work outside the home and then spend your salary on a cleaner.

"I'd rather spend my time doing something I want to do". Wouldn't we all! I don't think it is entirely your time if your job is to be SAHM. BUT I think the SAHM job should add up to (eg) 35 hours a week, you shouldn't be working 24/7 at home, no-one working outside home does that much!

People are weirdly moralistic about cleaning. If you can afford it and you don't want to do it, pay someone else who wants a job. How is that a bad thing?

Dh thinks I have time therefore I should do it. Whoever it was who said "why do you hate it?" its because it is a thankless invisible task that goes round on a relentless loop. DH works long hours, often out of the country, but entirely unpredictably. He is self employed. It is the unpredictability of his hours that makes it difficult for me to find a job of my own. He is never home before 7pm, and works at least one day, often two, of every weekend.