in thinking that if we have monthly income of £3700 net we could spare £120 to spend on a cleaner?

[effedorf]

3+ years posting here, namechange for obvious reasons.

But, seriously, what do you think?

The income all comes from dh and I am sahm. We have two primary school age children. I truly hate cleaning and I do 95% of the food shopping and cooking and 100% of the laundry and 95% of all the other things that makes a family tick over.

Or am I being unreasonable?

let's hope gordon brown is reading this thread..I might be tempted to employ a cleaner if it were tax deductible! sounds a great idea to create jobs and get us out of the recession!

Now I am intrigued.

Why is it necessary to wash walls in France? I haven't ever. Do you mean internal walls or external walls or (quiver) both?

If getting a cleaner will make you a happier person to be around and it will free up time for you to pursue other activities that will fulfil you more, then I say do it!

You could try it for a trial period and see how it works out. I don't mind you posting your income on here at all, I can't see you, I don't know who you are, what difference does it make? I wouldn't be at all surprised if there were many people on here adopting other personae anyway; it is the internet. In the real world of fleshy, visible people, talking about income would, I admit, be a bit off though.

Personally, I would have a cleaner more than once a week if I could. Unfortunately I don't find cleaning therapeutic in any way, I'm just a stressed out bore when I feel like a drudge.

I think the BRitish are more houseproud than a lot of other nationalities. I live in a country where the majority of mothers are SAHMs, and therefore for some reason I expected the houses to be neater and cleaner (I know, I know!). But they're not at all. Standards here are generally lower.I feel quite OCD here sometimes, whereas in the UK I am considered messy.
I can't work out if this is a good or bad thing. Are the British too preoccupied with having a clean house? IMO British houses are the most beautiful in the world (inside and outside). Is it because the British perhaps don't spend as much time on food and cooking?

This thread has had some truly bizarre statements on it. Senior jobs that aren't senior if there is no travel involved. Apartments (not even houses!) that need 12 hrs of professional cleaning...

When dh and I were both working full time we had a cleaner, she came once a week for perhaps 4-5 hours, was totally wonderful and an absolute luxury. At the moment I work and dh is a SAHD. He does all the domestic chores (I cook a bit), looks after the children after school, and still seems to find time to play computer games for several hours a day. He doesn't seem to find it terribly difficult, and I do my best to be appreciative. When I had a short period of stay at homing I did very little and found it horribly depressing. dh did a lot of the domestic stuff after work and at the weekends. It wasn't a very good set up, but my stay at homing wasn't voluntary, and we both knew I wouldn't enjoy it much. When dh gets a job (fairly soon I hope, as we could really do with more cash IMO) we will look to get a cleaner, have more meals out etc, because time will be much more limited, and we will want to spend it having a nice time as a family.

I think the OP is in a slightly different position because of the long hours and working away situation. She is effectively forced to hold the fort, and I imagine has very little flexibility (for example being able to go out in the evenings, do her own thing at the weekend), so the deal isn't so great for her. It's not really about the time, of which I imagine there may be far too much of, but about horizons perhaps. So having a few luxuries of her choice seems a very reasonable deal. But also perhaps they should look again at the way that his job affects the family as a whole - I suspect this is more than just about getting a cleaner.

I hate cleaning for myself (although had no problem working as a cleaner as a student) and have paid a far larger percentage of my income in the past. No need to feel guilty, I haven't read all of thread so don't know how old your DC are but if you have a couple of hours free in the day, and are suffering guilt about it why not find some voluntary work to do? There's so many opportunities about.

Just tell your DH cleaning makes you feel unsexy and you'll be more up for it if you have a cleaner - next thing you know, he'll have hired a full-time butler

You need to wash walls in Paris because, living in apartments that are right on the street, the walls around the windows (especially) get filthy dirt with soot/car fumes. We have fantastic double glazed windows, but inevitably the walls get very grimy indeed and need washing down a couple of times a year.

It doesn't happen when you have a front garden!

Bonsoir quick hijack.I know that lots of families live in appartments in europe rather than th uk obsession with house owning.Dp and I have df decided that when ds is 18 we are going to buy an appartment and live it up a bit while my health is good.It will be city fairly central prob Any pros and cons? xx

Lots of pros to living in an apartment if it is purpose built and properly managed ie in the UK if you live in a mansion block with a proper management company, because then you will have no maintenance to do, which is a big time and hassle saver. Don't live in a house conversion as you will lose all the benefits and gain none of the advantages.

Must haves, for comfortable apartment living:

• purpose built, with a decent floor plan that separates living and bedroom quarters (not always as easy to find as all that - far too many flats have bedrooms next to kitchens)

• good management, so that communal areas are kept nice and clean (daily cleaning essential) and that repairs and maintenance are dealt with promptly

• a lift

• decent soundproofing

• a garage in the building or nearby parking

Thanks it won't be for a few years but most of my friends think we are mad as they are very house focussed but tbh most of the appartments we have seen are bigger and lighter than our house.Do you feel like it isn't 'yours' as it were or once in the door is it ok?Have never done shaerd communal areas as you can prob tell!

at the French for their tax-deductible cleaning. Wow.

I feel totally at home once the door is shut - no question.

The biggest downside to living in an apartment is, of course, no garden. You can get fabulous apartments that are just as nice as any house - often much nicer, because high up you get lovely light and views of tree tops . You will probably need somewhere to escape to in the summer months for some outside air - could be friends and family, or a hotel, or a small second home.

We have viewed a top floor penthouse which has a terrace.Lovely views you're right and no maintenance!It is early days but am quite excited feels a lot more grown up and tbh I want to move away from the ara we are in which is full on family

Sounds lovely, and I am a great believer in changes of lifestyle for refreshing the neurones and enjoying life more!

Thanks for your advice lots to think about!Sorry for the hijack xx

Noddy where I come from people tend to live in apartments as well. I second everything Bosoir told you. Yes the downside is the garden but if you will not have children around it won't be such a big deal I think and being in england you might not even have to avoid the heat like in my country.

I have lived in a flat all life prior to coming to england and I can assure you it feels as yours as a house.

Another downside I can think of is the fact that you share an awful lot of things with a lot of other people, i.e. all the maintenance of the communal area, and unless the maintenance company is very good and reliable and honest it can be a pain. So I'd carefully check that.

Overall I'd say go for it.

We lived in an apartment, pretty much as Anna describes, in Brussels for 2 years. It was lovely. Only downside was that we faced the wrong way and didn't get the evening sun on the balcony. So sunbathing out there was impossible after about 2pm. We moved only so dd could have access to a garden/be able to ride her bike without us going out.

I personally like SOME outside space. But without kids, room for a bbq and table chairs is essential. Plants and sunlounger nice to have. Oh and don't forget the satellite dish - ours had to be within our "property" and we weren't allowed to hang washing out so a tumble drier was a must too.

Given so many (only 20% through the list of posts) seem to query
(a) whether DH would be happy (seems unlikely)
(b) whether you'd "achieve" something by having more time (as if having some "me time" for your sanity and enjoyment would be bad, but study to "progress in a career" would be acceptable) and
(c) so much condemnation/query about net salary/ disposable income

I'd suggest a compromise - 2x 3 hours @ 10GBP/hour, so get a cleaner alternate weeks. See if DH notices any difference, have some free time for yourself, and only go "half way" so those who have been pretty damning can "hush their negative comments"