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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in thinking that if we have monthly income of £3700 net we could spare £120 to spend on a cleaner?

769 replies

effedorf · 01/11/2009 20:03

3+ years posting here, namechange for obvious reasons.

But, seriously, what do you think?

The income all comes from dh and I am sahm. We have two primary school age children. I truly hate cleaning and I do 95% of the food shopping and cooking and 100% of the laundry and 95% of all the other things that makes a family tick over.

Or am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Swedes2Turnips0 · 01/11/2009 20:49

I think you should get one if you feel it's worth the money to you. I really hate having a cleaner as deep down I feel I'm a failure not being able to do it myself. I am grateful for the help and think it's really worth the money.

Georgimama · 01/11/2009 20:49

"I'd rather spend my time doing something I want to do".

Well, as it appears the OP has the money to pay someone to clean for her, I can't see why she shouldn't. Not one person has come up with a reason why she shouldn't, other than that their own lives are crappier and they have to do it.

MitchyInge · 01/11/2009 20:49

what is the point of this thread, do you struggle to find the £120 and want to cut down on other expenditure so that you can 'spare it' more easily or are you not sure whether you want a cleaner badly enough?

confused

brimfull · 01/11/2009 20:50

god if you can afford it get a cleaner

housework is so tedious

MitchyInge · 01/11/2009 20:51

sorry, missed your post

yes, just get the cleaner - you could get run over by a bus tomorrow etc

we were cleanerless for ages and the place went to ruin, never again

PoisonToadstool · 01/11/2009 20:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsFarmer · 01/11/2009 20:52

Go for it.

Not sure that there needs to be any deep or between the lines issues other than wanting a cleaner to free up some time. Not sure why if you and DH/P have decided between you that you wish to be a sahm you no longer have equal rights either but I guess there are loads of threads to take that one up.

I was v lucky to inherit a fab cleaner from the first MrsFarmer who actively enjoys the jobs I hate and I would give up sauvignon blanc before I gave her up

Lizzylou · 01/11/2009 20:55

Definitely get a cleaner if you can afford it.
Gawd I hate cleaning.
I need to clean and tidy before I could possibly let a cleaner in this house though

Original poster
effedorf · 01/11/2009 20:55

Mitchy and others - point of thread is to guage whether others in my situation would think £120 monthly on cleaning is reasonable or not. I can see that opinions vary widely so maybe I should have kept my trap shut!

In a way it has nothing to do with income. I bet there are sahms on half our household income who employ cleaners (for their sanity) and sahms who have double or more to spend who don't because they actually like cleaning .

OP posts:
MitchyInge · 01/11/2009 21:01

aha I see

well I think it's worth it and will hang on to the company I've found recently for dear life for as long as I can afford to - do it, don't understand why you haven't so far

yappy · 01/11/2009 21:02

I have less income than you and I have a cleaner once a fortnight, so go for it there's only so much you can do and it means you have spare time at the weekend to do the things you enjoy.

violethill · 01/11/2009 21:05

Still don't understand why you're posting on this thread.

Surely you need to ask your DH if he minds spending £120 of his earnings on a cleaner. Explain to him that your energy is taken up with doing the laundry and 95% of the food shopping. See if he bites.

But be prepared for him to laugh in your face, and tell you to go get a job and pay for one yourself if you're that fussed

cat64 · 01/11/2009 21:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

OrmIrian · 01/11/2009 21:07

£120 ??

Fuck me! What will she be cleaning? The drive with a toothbrush

violethill · 01/11/2009 21:11

Thanks for asking the question I wanted to ask cat!!

£3700 isn't in the realms of seriously well off, and tbh if I was sole earner on that income to a partner who was home all day with two kids in school, I don't think I'd be wanting to spend on a cleaner - I'd expect my partner to be doing that. Or getting a job themself to contribute towards a cleaner.

That's why I think the OP needs to ask her DH if he's prepared to pay. This isn't a huge income for a family of four - I would also ask what the hell is the OP doing all day!

junglist1 · 01/11/2009 21:13

If you want a cleaner, get one. You don't need anyone elses opinion. If you have a big house especially, SAHM or not that's hard work. I am though not in a bad way, I'd love a cleaner. We could do a cleaner share

smokinaces · 01/11/2009 21:14

I'm with cat - what are you going to be doing all day? I mean laundry is not that exhausting (guessing you have a washing machine and arent doing it by hand) and food shopping is like 3 hours a week. How big is your house?!! If you are a sahm with 2 dcs in school is it really that big a deal to do the housework? I mean its only a bit of hoovering, dusting, washing up maybe?

Sorry but IMO YABU. If you worked etc and still had all the housework etc to do, then I would agree - but I can see why your husband wouldnt want to pay for a cleaner.

EyeballsintheSky · 01/11/2009 21:16

"Surely you need to ask your DH if he minds spending £120 of his earnings on a cleaner."

WTF happened to SAHM being an equal part of the household and the income being joint regardless of who does the job? Or have I stepped back into the 1950's?

If you can afford it and you think it would help you then go for it. And FWIW we earn much less than you and I don't give two tosses about you stating your income. I don't see why people have to be so resentful about other people's money. I'm not going to benefit from your income so it doesn't bother me.

I'd have a cleaner like a shot if we could afford it. I work Mon-Weds and cannot keep on top of the housework. Sick of it looking like a tip so go for it.

MarshaBrady · 01/11/2009 21:18

Why should it solely the husband's decision?

As effedorf said it is hard for her to get a decent job as he is often not around or home late.

Effedorf is facilitating his career by being home for the dc (given that that is a joint decision - wanting to be home for the dc, doesn't always have to be of course).

The income is family income and surely they can decide together.

junglist1 · 01/11/2009 21:18

If you do get one, don't tidy round before they get there, either!

Longtalljosie · 01/11/2009 21:19

Oh for god's sake. Her husband - who sounds like he's out of the house a lot - seems to think she should do it, even though it's shitty work and he (presumably) gets to do a job he enjoys.

Her DH probably spends £120 a month on sandwiches. Why shouldn't she get a cleaner? It's a luxury, sure, but are we saying as a SAHM she's not entitled to buy luxuries? And if she is, why not this one?

Iggi999 · 01/11/2009 21:19

OP sounds like you are being left alone way too much by DH - now that in my opinion is unreasonable. Forget cleaning and spend the cash on going away with the kids at the weekend, or something else a bit more concrete for you. Most people do way too much cleaning anyway.

Janos · 01/11/2009 21:21

YANBU

I bloody hate cleaning/housework and would pay someone else to do it if I could afford it!

Is there another reason why you can't, or feel you shouldn't?

violethill · 01/11/2009 21:21

Eyeballs - my point was that as the OP's DH is the sole earner, then surely he should have a say in whether he wants to spend some of his earnings on a cleaner?

BTW I didn't give a toss about the principle of the OP stating her DH's income - it was simply the fact that for a family of four, 3700 isn't a huge amount, and it seems to me that if the OP is prioritising staying at home, even though the kids are both in school, on a fairly ordinary family income, then the least she should be doing is taking responsibility for all things domestic.

If she was married to someone earning megabucks, who didn't mind having a wife staying home and didn't mind paying a cleaner, then she might have a point. But it seems a bit OTT given that they're not rolling in money.

That's why I suggested she ask her DH.

giddykipper · 01/11/2009 21:24

If I were lucky enough to be able to be a sahm then I'd be doing the cleaning.

Horses for courses though isn't it.

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