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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that Brazilian waxes are NOT the norm. Or am I deluded?

314 replies

GetOrfMoiLand · 31/10/2009 16:02

Article in the Times basically saying that it is an expectation nowadays that women will have Brazillians.

women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationships/article6893826.ece

Is this the case nowadays? I have never had a wax job down below and have no intention of. Sod that!

Particularly at this quote: "There is something hugely irritating about being forced to conform to an aesthetic ideal instigated and perpetuated by the porn industry, but...it is now expected. If your boyfriend has been conditioned to expect a tidy Brazilian, he may genuinely find anything else very off-putting".

Really? Or in actually still having pubic hair am I the modern equivalent of the wild woman of Borneo?

OP posts:
Time2Hibernate · 01/11/2009 20:28

it's the pain...... I must admit to being tidy in that department but I fear it more than having my teeth drilled without anaesthetic.

The Times did refer to a reference from an accountant called Rodney...that's when I put down the magazine!!

nooka · 01/11/2009 20:45

Personally I really hate having a smear, and some of that is the whole indignity thing. I have smears because there is a case that it could save my life. Having a pubic wax every three weeks (as suggested in that article) just seems like a really bizarre thing to choose to do.

lionface · 01/11/2009 20:56

Had a Hollywood (i.e the full Monty front and back!) just once, but really didn't like that look as everything is so visible, and if it is not as neat and tight as a little girl's (or a porn star that has had a nip tuck!) then it can be a bit eugh.

Brazilian (the landing strip) is my preference, but you have to find a good beautician who can get an even strip, otherwise it can look at bit odd! And to be honest, most times I end up chickening out, and just go for the usual top and sides!

I'm considering having the whole lot done before I go into labour (is it not cleaner and easier if I have to have stiches?) Has anyone else done this? Is it normal? And will the beautician even be able to get down there with my big belly?

flowerlady2 · 01/11/2009 21:30

YANBU I for one have never been dictated to by the porn industry, and I ain't about to start now, actually if you read the replies to the time article much of the comments say the same; that the advice given to this lady is lame.

MABS · 01/11/2009 21:35

salon wax every 4/5 weeks, doesn't hurt if you have good therapist. full leg,underarm, brazilian and eyebrows.

bettykitten75 · 01/11/2009 21:53

Am I the only MN member with a (ahem) fuller labia that actually doesn't lend it's self to the totally shaved off look?
It would seem that way...oh dear.

happyharry · 01/11/2009 21:55

I think my ds 3 wants me to to have one. He commented that I was spiky but should be smooth.

dreamylady · 01/11/2009 22:00

can anyone tell me, if you trim the hairy bit with scissors, does it itch because of the blunt ends? I have my bikini line waxed (leaving 'undercarriage' and triangle intact) but would like to try and prune it back a bit, sort of like a flat top . - just don't fancy regrowth stubble itch (I used to get this when i shaved bikini line)

rosieposey · 01/11/2009 22:40

Bettykitten, your not I shaved it all off once and never, ever again ... it was not becoming and thats all i'm saying.

bettykitten75 · 01/11/2009 22:49

Thank you rosie. You have made me feel more normal. It was just that no one so far has mentioned that by shaving it ALL off you are revealing all your bits and bobs...not always resembling a little girl...

CarolinaGirl · 02/11/2009 04:43

In the states it's just called a brazilian. The salon will ask if you want a "half" (the underside) or a "whole" (everything).

Have had both done. Not too keen on the "whole." Very itchy growing out. Did feel very clean under, though.

Decided to stop when after the 3rd time she ripped a bit of skin off with the hair! OUCH!!!!!! Sore for days!

sarah293 · 02/11/2009 08:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

tatt · 02/11/2009 08:34

these discussions annoy me because I fear for the pressure on my teenage daughter. In a few years time it will be everyone has to have cosmetic surgery to make them look more like a porn star, otherwise you aren't "grooming" yourself properly. Perhaps by then men will be expected to have penile enhancement!

If you wish to undergo pain for something that makes you feel better that is your problem. But when you suggest this is just "grooming" or "makes sex better" then you are insulting. It may make YOUR sex life better but I don't need aids to spice up my sex life. I'm afraid I see women like this as lacking self-esteem and trying to boost it by belittling other women's choices.

In our house both children (one each sex) are told that they must not judge what is normal by porn stars and that you should not ask anyone to do something painful and unnecessary for your benefit.

bettykitten75 · 02/11/2009 08:55

Totally agree tatt. As the mother of two little girls it makes me sad and worried for them that they might inherit my "hairiness" gene and spend their lives feeling ashamed and humiliated. I don't want them to spend half their lives plucking and shaving like I have.

ErikaMaye · 02/11/2009 08:57

Not a bloody chance. Am wincing just at the thought of it.

A previous boyfriend once asked me to shave / wax entirely, and I found that down right disturbing in all honesty - like he wanted to be "doing" someone rather too young.

If you're doing it for yourself, for whatever reason, then fine, but not for me. And I disagree with the age thing - I'm 18, and the Devil will be ice skating to work before anyone puts wax down there thank you

Olifin · 02/11/2009 09:14

'In our house both children (one each sex) are told that they must not judge what is normal by porn stars and that you should not ask anyone to do something painful and unnecessary for your benefit.'

tatt I absolutely agree with this. I will be telling my children the same when they are old enough to worry about such things.

Nonetheless, I choose to have Brazilian waxing and there is nothing wrong with my self-esteem. I also don't belittle others' choices.

bellissima · 02/11/2009 09:24

Am now confused cos someone's talking about Brazilian blow dries in style and beauty - what you wax and then blow hot air on?!!

(Also always have another question to self. I understand that most middle class S American women have c-sections (maybe it's that rather than the external topiary that their men demand) - so how do they hide the scar till it fades if they are waxing it all off???)

Original poster
GetOrfMoiLand · 02/11/2009 09:26

Yay thread is on the discussion of the day - my first thread ever.

Knew that a thread about pubes would be more popular than my normal choice of thread title (grated cheese, clothes shops, spiders).

OP posts:
Rtuff · 02/11/2009 09:43

I can't believe how many people are against it..?

I am of the other persuasion and actually find it quite a normal thing for women to do.

Bellissima I also have a c-section scar (and will be having another in March)and don't feel the need to hide it, In fact i'd rather see my scar than be "over grown" so to speak. Also helps when actually having a c-setion as you don't end up with some random (in my last case man) shaving it off for you and growing back really itchy! So I will be at 38 weeks preggers be going for a brazillian...

SexyDomesticatedDad · 02/11/2009 09:47

By nooka Sat 31-Oct-09 19:58:03
Maggie, guys do have to shave (or wax if they choose I guess) before vasectomies. The resultant itching is a common complaint. My dh looked very peculiar at the time. However as sex is a no no for a while afterwards it wasn't an issue either way. I've never thought that sex woudl be better with him if only he shaved down there (I can't think why it would be) and to be honest even if he did prefer it for me I'd say "tough".

err - no they don't......

Morloth · 02/11/2009 09:55

Not to worry Riven my beauty "routine" consists of brushing my hair and sometimes I can't even be arsed with that and just wrap it into a twisty bun. Get it trimmed every 6 months and that is about my interest in salons.

If I am going to a party or something I might manage some lipstick, but probably not.

Much better/more interesting things to be doing with my time! (like dicking around on the computer, drinking coffee etc )

bellissima · 02/11/2009 09:57

Oooh no Rtuff I wouldn't have wanted a landing strip with a scar coming out at both sides. Or even worse, after my first section, an exposed 'National Health Service ridge' as the ob-gyny at my second (continental) section disparagingly put it...hair can have it's uses!

roneef · 02/11/2009 09:59

Riven I thought you were muslim?

Muslims remove hair. Not necessarily waxing. It's viewed as a basic requirement of cleanliness routine.

sarah293 · 02/11/2009 10:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MyCatsAScarierBastardThanYours · 02/11/2009 10:49

The one and only time I got the lady bits waxed the wax was too flaming hot and burnt me and then HORROR OF HORRORS - the hair grew back more bushy and further down my legs.

I had visions of a full ankle skimming beard if I wasn't careful so decided to stick with au naturel.

Never ever had any complaints from any boyfriends or DH so think I'll stick with it.

DH worked in Austria and Italy for several yrs and tells me that in both places hair sprouts all over the place and noone complians