Muon, I've been at home with my children pretty much most of the time as they've grown up. They're 4, 6 and 10 now and pretty rude, unfortunately (they have other strong points - they're confident, compassionate and intensely loving, just not at all compliant). I don't think children respect parents any more or less according to how much time they spend with them. If anything I would imagine that children who are less securely bonded with their parents would be more compliant, as they're more likely to be seeking approval.
That said, our children ADORE us (children in a generic sense) and would probably rather be with us than anyone else, particularly when they're tiny, where instinct apart from anything else encourages them to try to stay as close to us as possible. I know nurseries vary in quality, but I don't think that any nursery could have given my very small children the quality of life that they've had at home with me. I did have my dd in two nurseries part time as a baby, and as they've got older all three of them have attended nursery p/t at a children's centre.
My babies had a wonderful time at home. I took them to the park every day, and out to the shops and library, I kissed and cuddled them all day, sang to them, they saw their grandparents during the week as well as during the weekend, we went to the odd playgroup so they had a chance to play along side other children (not that babies play much with other children anyway), we listened to interesting music, we picked blackberries, and we just CHATTED, all day long. No nursery could provide that sort of consistently rich experience for my kids - even the very good ones. The child/adult ratios just don't allow it. And as soon as my kids were old enough to express a POV they were clear that they preferred to be with me most of the time to being at nursery (I sent them part-time from 3 onwards). Don't get me wrong - they enjoyed nursery once they were old enough to establish meaningful relationships with the other children, and to make good use of the equipment and expertise of the staff, but they always preferred being with me if they able to express a preference.
I think any adult who seriously believes that a baby would prefer to be in the care of a nursery nurse than their mother or father, particularly when they're doing a
10 hour day away from home, is kidding themselves. I don't think it necessarily affects the bond with the parent - the bond is too strong for that - but it's a bit of a crap experience for a very tiny child to be away from their mum and dad for the vast bulk of their waking hours during the week, just seeing them for an hour or two in the evening before bed, and for an hour or so in the mornings. Time passes so fast for us - a day goes in the blink of an eye. But for a baby time moves very slowly.
"however I do not understand how you can stay at home when they are back at school"
Getorfmyland - I only have 5 and a half hours a day between drop off and pick up, now all three of my children are at school. Other than working in a school myself, what full-time job would fit in with those hours, and give time off for school holidays, or when my children are ill? After school club for three children costs £9 an hour. And that's out of a TAXED income. Also - my kids want to come home after school, so they can relax. They're knackered and a bit overwhelmed at the end of the day, particularly my 4 year old. The last they they want is to have to mill around in a big hall with loads of other kids until I pick them up, even if there are games and computers for them there.
I think I get plenty of stimulation from my part-time evening work, my studies and my voluntary work. No need for full-time work really, not for myself!