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AIBU?

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Original poster

naked toddlers showering at the public swimming pool

214 replies

Danthe4th · 19/10/2009 21:25

At our local swimming pool it is glass sided and the showers are in full few of the veiwing area, and the car park at a push.

I take my 4 year old for his swimming lessons on a wednesday morning, they also have the mums and tots class. I sit watching my sons class and the previous class are using the showers.

Why do mums strip their children off so they shower naked. I'm at the point when i'm going to say something, but do I say it to mum or management.Several children do this.

There are often workmen, strangers, dads whoever wondering about. I just don't think its necessary to strip children naked, why can mums not leave their costumes on.

I find myself scanning the area to see if anyone is looking, it just worries me.Am I being unreasonable.

OP posts:
piscesmoon · 20/10/2009 19:49

I was using one woman's opinion. If you forget religion (which I didn't bring into it)I am saying that a woman's clothing shouldn't be used to keep men from temptation. The man should have self control. Forget that one, if it is causing so much trouble,have instead that a woman (an athiest, if you like) should be able to go out at night in a short skirt and not be responsible for the thoughts of a man-he is the one who needs self control. A toddler in a pool isn't responsible for anyone else.

MadameDefarge · 20/10/2009 19:59

Apart from the perceived rights and wrongs of women covering up for religious reasons (and it is not restricted to those of the muslim faith) the fact is that many women practice their religion according to these restrictions. therefore they should be catered to.

IMO it is more important for women to have access to leisure and health facilities than argue about the rights and wrongs of women covering up for religion.

So lets not go looking for fights where there are none, eh Roneef?

seaglass · 20/10/2009 19:59

It's posts like this that make me think this country is totally fucked up.
It's a wonder all men aren't locked up just in case they might be a paedophile
YABVU! Get a grip.

roneef · 20/10/2009 20:01

Agree with you and as I already said to the OP - none of her business.

There are perverts in this world unfortunately. If anyone wants to cover up their dc that's acceptable imo.

I probably wouldn't though and if I caught anyone leering etc they would get a real mouthful.

PeedOffWithNits · 20/10/2009 20:03

i dont agree with the OP at all BUT at our local pool you are NOT ALLOWED to strip toddlers for their showers. you are also allowed ONLY to use water - no shampoo, soap, conditoner AT ALL

roneef · 20/10/2009 20:07

Okaay madame...I'm not looking for a fight. I made my views known.

But you go girl..

IMO it is more important for women to have access to leisure and health facilities than argue about the rights and wrongs of women covering up for religion.

You should get a mn award for most pc,bollocksy statement. Once you work out what you are trying to say - give me a shout.

alfiesmadmother · 20/10/2009 20:08

AM quite shocked that people think it's wrong to shower TODDLERS naked. And I quite happily let my 2 year old run around in the garden/on the beach naked, supervised obviously. It never crossed my mind that this could be wrong. FGS they are toddlers. What next?

MillyR · 20/10/2009 20:12

This all seems straightforward to me.

There are women only sessions to cater for women who, for religious or other reasons, don't wish to swim in mixed sessions.

In most pools, children can shower naked.

In most pools, children can shower in swimwear.

None of this should cause any reason for anyone to complain. The OP is mad to want to say something about it to the management.

Why any of this is an issue I don't know. What madame said was quite clear, I thought. Not sure why that is an issue either.

dittany · 20/10/2009 20:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadameDefarge · 20/10/2009 20:18

You see Roneef, that kind of aggression is just pointless. I live in an area surrounded by women who by virtue of their culture (and I do not specify it) are particularly vulnerable to being excluded from public services. So anything that promotes their independence is good as far as I am concerned.

If wanting women who are oppressed in some ways to have equal opportunities is rabidly pc, well, yeah!

roneef · 20/10/2009 20:23

Madame, you pissed me off because you waded in and accused me of 'looking for a fight'.

You probably didn't even read my posts.

I am from 'that culture' and find you to be a bit patronising.

nooka · 20/10/2009 20:29

Roneef, Piscesmoon original post was about the use of the burka, not the hijab, and there is a lot of debate within the Muslim world about whether covering the face is cultural or a religious requirement. For example in Canada the Muslim Canadian Congress is campaigning for the niqab and burka to be made illegal. Their spokesperson said the practice of wearing the burka and niqab is more rooted in Middle Eastern culture than in religious teachings. She added that there is nothing in the Qur'an that stipulates women must cover their faces. Likewise in Egypt the Sheikh Mohammad Sayyed Tantawi, the Grand Imam of al-Azhar has issued a ban on women wearing the burka, or face veil, at any schools affiliated to al-Azhar, the world?s top Sunni Islam institution.

Not that these actions are uncontested mind, but certainly debated.

I think the wider point about whether as a society we should be swayed by the idea that because a small group of people have a problem (whether prudish or sexual) with nakedness (whether or face, or ankle or body) everyone else should make changes - and even take responsibility for what are essentially other people's problems is a very valid one.

As for the OP, she should calm down. It's not her responsibility to be checking the scene for "someone looking". The most likely people to be looking are relatives after all, and if they are also abusers than what happens in the swimming pool is going to be fairly irrelevant. If she thinks there is a design problem, then she should take that up with management. As to why? The costume is taken off because it's no longer needed, it is wet and cold and chloriny, and showering with the costumer on is fairly pointless.

MadameDefarge · 20/10/2009 20:31

Roneef, I read all your posts, and the context of this thread I found them both aggressive and illogical.

As I have not specified which culture I am referring to, I would suggest you stop making this all about you and your splatter gun contempt for those who do not agree with you.

roneef · 20/10/2009 20:41

I suspect many non muslims don't have a clue about hijab, niqa, burka and jilbab differences.

I think it soo ironic that in trying to protect women from muslim males oppression via the burka shaikh tantawi seeks to ban it.

this man is depised by the majority of muslims I have met in this country and regarded as a sellout.

No one has a right to tell another human being how to dress including this prize nobhead.

roneef · 20/10/2009 20:44

ok madame. When was I aggressive?

Just busy running back and forth to pc. I am blunt by nature though

MadameDefarge · 20/10/2009 20:50

well, one example is that you assumed I was talking about muslims, I wasn't.

Just try not to get personal, disagree with the idea, not the person, it makes it more productive all round.

roneef · 20/10/2009 20:54

No Picesmoon/nooka were talking about muslims. You were being all mysterious

DailyMailNameChanger · 20/10/2009 20:56

Only on MN could a ruck on open plan showers become a ruck on religion in under 200 posts

LaDiDaDi · 20/10/2009 21:02

The showers at my localpool are a bit like this, open to the poolside which is in turn open to the viewing area/cafe and only tinted glass between the pool and the shopping area outside.

I don't strip dd at the showers, it would take longer, but I wouldn't think that anyone who did it was odd or not protecting their child .

MadameDefarge · 20/10/2009 21:04

I was simply saying that there other cultures and religions that prohibit women being seen by men while wearing little clothing (according to their standards)

If you need to know, I was referring to an area where there are many very orthodox Jews. I am happy that there are seperate sessions for women, and that local planners have taken into account the whole swimming experience in being respectful of their culture.

MadameDefarge · 20/10/2009 21:07

Not because I give two hoots (or not) about the validity of those cultural rules, but simply because in a pragmatic way, I think all our services should be available to all sectors of society.

nooka · 20/10/2009 22:15

Sadly roneef I think you are absolutely right about people not appreciating the differences in the different headdress/clothing types. I'm not sure that a ban is a sensible way forwards either. But just wanted to raise the fact that there is debate. Oh, and totally agree with Madame, lots of religions have dress codes of one sort or another. Where I live now I'm more likely to see a plain dressing Mennonite than any other distinctive religious group, but I don't think I've ever seen this group in the UK.

nicm · 20/10/2009 22:35

i think it's really sad. was in europe in the summer with ds and thought it was good to see a small child running round the park naked. no one even batted an eyelid.

onebatmother · 21/10/2009 11:59

I think your point about the wider question being the respective rights of the offended vs the rest of us is a very good one nooka.

ginormoboobs · 21/10/2009 17:52

I shower both of mine naked at the pool. How else would I wash all of the chlorine off them.
If some dirty paedo gets a kick out of seeing my children naked then so be it.
It will not harm them.
A crazed paedophile will not run over and snatch them from the shower.
I worked in a swimming pool with showers like this. You walked out of the pool and they were open. You could have a shower and look out of the huge window at the same time. There was a lovely view of the river.
We never had paedos lurking outside to try and sneak a glimpse of a naked child.
We did once spot a man with an obvious erection. He was watching 2 pre teen girls.
We knew who he was and called the police as he was following them around.
Lifeguards watch out for weirdos. They can spot someone acting suspiscously and will ask them to leave.