Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

naked toddlers showering at the public swimming pool

214 replies

Danthe4th · 19/10/2009 21:25

At our local swimming pool it is glass sided and the showers are in full few of the veiwing area, and the car park at a push.

I take my 4 year old for his swimming lessons on a wednesday morning, they also have the mums and tots class. I sit watching my sons class and the previous class are using the showers.

Why do mums strip their children off so they shower naked. I'm at the point when i'm going to say something, but do I say it to mum or management.Several children do this.

There are often workmen, strangers, dads whoever wondering about. I just don't think its necessary to strip children naked, why can mums not leave their costumes on.

I find myself scanning the area to see if anyone is looking, it just worries me.Am I being unreasonable.

OP posts:
diddl · 20/10/2009 10:45

If the showers are in view, are they just supposed to be used before/after swimming, and not for a full shower?

lucygreen · 20/10/2009 10:58

probably good hygeine to hose them down when you take the swim nappy etc off, and its no diferent and if anything gets them ready for school showers wich are still oftern communal as are alot of public swimming pools well i know the one in camden is. and as others have said the beach or even at home. there is a massive diference between naked and depraved.

argento · 20/10/2009 11:44

Threads like this are so sad - people have lost sight of real safety in all this paedo panic.

Even if a paedo is lurking at the pool and sees a naked 3 year old, so what? Is the child harmed? This crazy fear is what actually damages children.

independiente · 20/10/2009 12:12

OP, I think you are being a bit ridiculous. Sorry.

madamearcati · 20/10/2009 13:00

HSSS - Report him to the police ? for what ?? As far as I know looking at somebody in any fashion isn't a crime !

Iklboo · 20/10/2009 13:21

Aren't more children the victims of sexual abuse from family members than a stranger?

tearinghairout · 20/10/2009 13:34

OP - although people have made some good points here about why it shouldn't matter, I think YANBU. I would feel uncomfortable with this too.

Where I live there is a grassed area where toddlers run about naked in the summer (in view of their own houses, and others). It always makes me feel uneasy. Maybe it's to do with one's upbringing? My mum wouldn't let me take my dolls outside without clothes on. she collects teddies and dolls for the Christmas Box appeal & always makes sure they all have pants on, at the least!

So, I can understand how you feel. Having showers open to view by people not also dressed for swimming sounds odd, anyway.

AllFallDown · 20/10/2009 13:40

"I know of people who have refused to work in swimming pools because they were so freaked out at having to go and fill holes drilled in changing room walls - at child as well as adult height."

Eh? First, who gets away with smuggling drills into public changing rooms, then using them to drill spyholes in walls? Don't you think the staff might wander over and ask, "Excuse me, why are you drilling in our walls?" Second, how many people do you really know who have refused jobs in swimming pools because of this? I think you've made this up.

And for OP ? the vast majority of child abuse, of course, takes place within the family. YABU and paranoid.

LilianGish · 20/10/2009 13:42

You'd better not move to Berlin - you'd be considered odd there for thinking it was ok to go in the shower let alone the sauna or steam room with a swimming costume (and that's adults - not just children).

mylovelymonster · 20/10/2009 13:52

Am confused by the direction of this thread - I thought the issue was that the showers were in full view of all and sundry? And that this is part of a growing trend to ensure groups of people and potential weirdos aren't protected by a subtle level of privacy that would make everyone comfortable with showering naked/+ cozzie, whatever they preferred? And that this is possibly linked to a trend in leisure centres which is sexualising our children to the extent that a 3yr old may not enter a pool without full coverage of her 'breasts'?

What I got from OP is that she is uncomfortable with showering her child naked in front of everyone - not just other swimmers, but anyone just walking by? Is that not a little bit understandable? I would happily go (and have gone) into a sauna naked in Austria, but I wouldn't if it had been glass sided and situated in a shopping mall.

mylovelymonster · 20/10/2009 13:54

mm - have re-read OP, and I think what I got from all this is a bit different to opening point....
As you were.

Gillyan · 20/10/2009 13:58

YABU you wouldn't be BU if there were people with cameras etc, if all these kids are with their parents then it's up to hte parents to be worried if needed and you just do what makes you feel comfortable with your own kids. I have to say if I was there with my naked toddler and some man/woman was looking at her in an odd way then it would make me very uncomfortable but I would probably say something to the person.

Lotster · 20/10/2009 14:02

I absolutely agree lovely monster.

Tis a bit of a witch hunt on what is a straightforward question. Some people will mind and some won't about this, doesn't make the OP "nuts" as some have said.

Personally (and assuming these see-through showers are the only option, with no private ones nearby) I would be concerned about not just the privacy of toddlers but also being able to take my own cossie off and shower! Some things are private and even if you keep your cossie on, some shyer people don't like eating in public for example, let alone rubbing themselves down

argento · 20/10/2009 14:09

Lotster - the OP isn't concerned about her own privacy, she's concerned about other people's children being naked in case men see them.

LillianGish - totally agree - and in the summer Berlin parks are full of naked children and no one bats an eyelid. I've even seen children stripping off in the garden of their nursery to play in the paddling pool and perverts could have seen them through the gate! I wonder if Germany has a much higher level of child abuse than the UK? Somehow I doubt it

Lotster · 20/10/2009 14:12

Hi Argento. I know, that's why I said "personally".

ImSoNotTelling · 20/10/2009 14:14

Who on earth designed this pool?

Is there a pic of it - can we have a look?

I wouldn't really feel comfy rinsing myself down with a load of people in a carpark with their anoraks on wandering past! In fact, I probably wouldn't go swimming if it was on view like that.

On weird showering situation, YANBU
On nude child thing, YABU

Lotster · 20/10/2009 14:16

ImSoNotTelling - Quite.

And why should children have any less rights than adults? Potential lurking pervs or no?

HeSaysSheSays · 20/10/2009 14:18

madamearcati, actually learing at children - if repeated and unmistakable as Katiestar puts it is a problem and the police would take it seriously - certainly seriously enough to check out a persons history on their database for a start. If the person were already convicted then they would be pulled up and told that they were raising suspicion at least if not fully investigated/checked out.

Allfalldown, I have not made it up I could evidence it however that would give too much of me away (and was in the deleted post above). One of the cases was talked about on here some time (several years) ago actually, I think it was someone doing work experience or something.. I can't quite recall the details of that one. As for smuggling in drills... well, yes, people have and do. If you go to an older style pool you will probably be able to see the filled holes in some stalls. It is a problem and a lot of the changes made to the way changing rooms are laid out and the way the stalls are built (materials and so on) are partly because of it.

NadiaWadia · 20/10/2009 14:21

Tearinghairout - your mother didn't let you take DOLLS outside to play with no clothes on them?!

I'm sorry but she sounds seriously neurotic!

minuscelsius · 20/10/2009 14:25

straight forward question....straightforward answer. You are being very unreasonable. If you said anything to me, I would probably stare at you for a few minutes then burst out laughing and walk away.

anonymous85 · 20/10/2009 14:29

They should have more private area for children to shower and dress. I would say something too.

Especially in viewing of the carpark, a pedo could just it in their car for all people know and watch from their parked car.

It any sort of thing whether it's a toilet or shower should be private in my books. Think it was last year or year before, police caught a pedo at a fair that was walking around taking photos of kids, it does happen - more so at pools, and more so at pools if it's so easily viewable from carparks and around the pool. I would def say something it should not be glass.

OP you are in no ways being neurotic.

emma1785 · 20/10/2009 14:29

I think you're all being a bit harsh on Danthe4th. Whilst it is unfair to assume every male is a potential sexual threat to children its easy to worry and think the worst. In this case I think it's silly of the swimmingpool to have been designed so open planned, where do adults shower? We do have to take child sex abuse seriously it happens and quite often a lot more than we actually hear about, and in places we wouldn't think of, for example the nursery school case. If I was to take children to the swimming pool in question I would be concerned for their privacy, thats the world we live in today. Better to be safe than sorry.

SCARYspicemonster · 20/10/2009 14:37

I wonder if it's precisely because of the risk of paedophiles and other dodgy going ons that they've made the showers public. Like I said, our brand new swimming pool just has a line of showers at the side of the pool. There are none in the changing rooms except for the school communal one.

I wonder if it's the same pool? OMG - I bet it is! It's a bit of a stretch to say you can see it from the carpark - not easily. But certainly from the viewing area.

HeSaysSheSays · 20/10/2009 14:42

Scary, it is actually likely that this is the justification, it is certainly one reason why there has been a move to communal rather than individual shower stalls (as well as easier cleaning, more showers to each area and so on). I do think open glass showers is a step too far though...mainly because it makes it seem a bit goldfish bowl like - as if they are there on display.

MadameDigestive · 20/10/2009 14:52

I have to say I find this a little suspect. If it is a new pool, then I find it hard to beleive that it would have been built with visual access to the showers. Local authorities have to be very strict on inclusion issues, so that means ensuring that women of certain religious beliefs have the right to swim without men being present or being able to see them, that means they have to plan the whole thing to ensure this.

Or maybe its just London that is strict. I don't know.