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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

naked toddlers showering at the public swimming pool

214 replies

Danthe4th · 19/10/2009 21:25

At our local swimming pool it is glass sided and the showers are in full few of the veiwing area, and the car park at a push.

I take my 4 year old for his swimming lessons on a wednesday morning, they also have the mums and tots class. I sit watching my sons class and the previous class are using the showers.

Why do mums strip their children off so they shower naked. I'm at the point when i'm going to say something, but do I say it to mum or management.Several children do this.

There are often workmen, strangers, dads whoever wondering about. I just don't think its necessary to strip children naked, why can mums not leave their costumes on.

I find myself scanning the area to see if anyone is looking, it just worries me.Am I being unreasonable.

OP posts:
lilyjen · 19/10/2009 22:38

YABU..that's all I can say as other posters have said the rest-which is cool cos I kinda felt it needed a response but it's soooo annoying that it's even a post!

macdoodle · 19/10/2009 22:44

You are barking
I always strip my toddler naked for a shower after swimming - I'd strip myself too but think that everyone would run screaming from my naked body

hobbgoblin · 19/10/2009 22:47

ffs

i wasted my energy on my mother talking abiut this so think i'll decline to do so on you OP except to say me new made up phrase

pervery is in the eye of the beholder.

Olifin · 19/10/2009 22:48

Aye colditz. Peados in Speedos.

Plonker · 19/10/2009 22:55

Bonkers attitude

How sad that you worry about this ...

crankytwaaaaaahhhhnky · 19/10/2009 23:04

olifin you bugger, I just sprayed water over my keyboard loling!

Olifin · 19/10/2009 23:59
Grin
onebatmother · 20/10/2009 00:18

roffle at paedos in speedos..

i went with my 3 yr old dd for a swim and had forgotten her costume - we were turned back poolside bcs she wasn\t allowed to wear her (sturdy) pants. And it wasn't a hygiene thing (although that woud be rather wtf too) it was specifically that walking female children had to have their non-existent breasts covered.

Shortly afterwards my (just) 7yr old ds was not allowed to swim with me bcs it was a women-only session. And that annoyed me as much, because it sexualized him by ascribing to him adult sexual feelings.

LadyEvenstarsCauldren · 20/10/2009 00:54

Hell where is this pool??? You mean you can get an eyeful of anyone who decides to strip off for a shower??? damn i have seen some of the muscular men swimming in my local pool!!!

Ok on a serious note, YABU I don't think any normal sane person looks at a child a see's someone sexual...they see a child. If we were to worry about every person who could be a potential nonse then we would wrap our dc up in cotton wool (more than we already do) and never venture out, who knows if the guy serving you at sainsburies is a paedo even if he is not in speedos

nappyaddict · 20/10/2009 01:57

YABU. There are showers at the poolside at our local leisure centre and I always strip DS to use those.

mummygirl · 20/10/2009 02:57

onebatmother are you serious about your d not being able to swim without covering her breasts????

Madness!!!! My DD has never asked to buy the top of a suit, only the bottoms and I can't remember using mine until I had actually started growing reasts and was all self-conscious about it.

Seriously, this kind of thing makes me really angry. To make a little girl feel that they have to cover up their BREASTS (!!!!!!!!??????????!) at such a young age... and thirty years later try to convince her that BFing in public is perfectly acceptable.

Oh, and OP... barking mad

mummygirl · 20/10/2009 02:59

"your dd", "growing Breasts", I really have to start proof-reading...

cory · 20/10/2009 07:36

HOW ON EARTH WOULD A CHILD BE SAFE FROM A PAEDOPHILE JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE WEARING A SWIMMING COSTUME????

sorry, but stupidity makes me shout
I can't help it

I think you will find that in most cases of paedophiliac abuse/abduction etc, the child was wearing something when it attracted the paedo's attention

paedophiles are not people with no imagination whose sexual urges are inhibited by a small piece of material

This is just one of those ways in which anxious parents reassure themselves that It Couldn't Happen to Me, because I'm performing the right kind of mumbo jumbo/wearing the right amulet/never taking my baby's swimming trunks off.

piscesmoon · 20/10/2009 07:43

Perhaps we should drape our toddlers in a tent from head to foot in case a paedophile looks at them!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 20/10/2009 08:01

YABU..kids are innocent, even if someone was staring at them they'd be blissfully unaware....

HeSaysSheSays · 20/10/2009 08:14

Can I just point out how silly all this "peados don't need them to be naked" thing is? The same can be said of any sexual attraction, adult men do not need adult women to be naked to find them attractive however we still wear swimming costumes to cover up, it may not be much but it is the minimum we have, as a society, deemded to be acceptable. Going on the "cossies make no difference" argument why aren't you all running around the pool without costumes on? And don't give the old cleanliness argument, if you really think a costume does any more than trap a few stray hairs then you are living in a dream world!

Of course you then come into, does titilation encourage offending? Does the fact that someone has spent an hour watching something it wants very much but cannot have encourage them to find a scenario where they can have what they want?

I also feel strongly that the looking doesn't hurt anyone argument is seriously flawed, mostly because I have not yet met a parent who would not be seriously pissed off to find that a peadophile has been watching the school playground at lunchtimes - and those children would all be fully clothed.

piscesmoon · 20/10/2009 08:31

It is the paedophile's problem-there is utterly no need for anyone to change their behaviour because of a few sick people.

There was a good article in the paper the other day from a muslim woman, she said there was nothing religiously that meant that women needed to wear a burka-it was the fact that men needed to control 'their' women and a curl of hair or a flash of ankle could tempt a man who then couldn't be held responsible for his actions and it was all the woman's fault!

If a paedophile sees a naked toddler under the shower so what?!!

PumpkinsCantDanceTheTango · 20/10/2009 08:35

People have hugely inflated worries of stranger danger, its usually someone known to the child - father, uncle, teacher, family friend... So on that basis, its a good idea to blindfold all men who come in to contact with your child - including their fathers. And NEVER let them cuddle your child. If they MUST bath your child then make sure the child wears a wet suit so as no flesh can be seen.

Allets · 20/10/2009 08:35

Haven't bothered to read the thread, but I have to say that it's this sort of paranoia which perpetuates the culture of mistrust in communities these days.

If children showering without clothes on, I would suggest that it's you (OP) with the problem, not the mum's who allow it.

Very sad indeed.

Allets · 20/10/2009 08:37

Sorry, I meant "If children showering without clothes on makes you uncomfortable, I would suggest that it's you (OP) with the problem, not the mum's who allow it.

piscesmoon · 20/10/2009 08:45

If we get to the stage where you can't strip off a toddler in a swimming pool shower I really don't think it is a world that I want to live in! I refuse to bring up my DCs in such paranoia. It is the same sort of person who would say to a DC 'stay by mummy or you will be taken'!!

cory · 20/10/2009 08:48

HeSays, the minimum of acceptability for grown women (and men) is one that western society has agreed on for a long time.

The fear of naked toddlers otoh is recent and, in northern Europe, pretty well confined to the UK.

Paedophiles have always been around- so why should we suddenly feel the need to protect them from temptation? And how come the paedophile problem is no greater in other parts of northern Europe where children habitually run around naked on the beach?

There are men around in this society who think women have a duty to cover up in burkhas so as not to inflame their sensibility. Do we feel obliged to conform to this minority if we do not share their views? No, we don't- precisely because they are a minority. We protect ourselves in other ways and if they still cannot control themselves we rely on the criminal justice system to deal with them. Or do you think every woman who does not cover herself in this way is irresponsible?

The people who think of children as sexual beings are also a minority. They need to know that.

daisydora · 20/10/2009 08:49

YABU!!!

I always take my DD's costume off(she's 3). Never thought anything of it tbh, she's a child!

If I'd have been a mother you'd said something too i would have thought you were a nutter. Agree with what others have said. Despite what certain papers/press would have you belive not everyone we meet in life is a pervert!

Agree with Pavlov

pigsinmud · 20/10/2009 09:05

Well yabu about perverts, but this showering after swimming malarky has gone mad at my local swimming pool.

When I was little I'd jump under the shower for a minute and then get changed. After dd1's swim school lesson there must be at least 30 children, probably nearer 40, finishing their lessons. There are 4 showers - I am always amazed at the huge numbers of mothers trying to get shampoo and shower gel onto their kids. We give the showers a very wide berth and do the hair washing/shower gel thing when we get home.

I know you'll all say ooh what business is it of yours blah blah, but it just makes me laugh as they bundle their kids into the scrum of the after swim shower.

katiestar · 20/10/2009 09:10

And tbh I wouldn't really care if a paedo was there ogling my toddler as long as I was there so he couldn't touch him/her.
My 7.5 yr old is very slim but has very 'womanly hips' IYWIM .
Last summer i was shopping with her and she was wearing a summer dress that ties at the back she had it quite tight round her waist and I saw a middle aged man quite openly look her up and down and there was no mistaking the expression on his face and TBH I was a bit shocked but i knew she was safe cos I was there.
There is no avoisding paedos they could crop up in any situation ,but you can't let it run your life.