Is my husband being thick or what?

[carocaro]

Just come in, two hungry kids with one who has pooed himself.

I sort out the poo one. I shout to DH who is upstairs to throw me down new pants and trousers, he yells back, for who?

I then tell DH to bring bin round, whilst I make tea, what bin from where? he says 'eer the massive black wheelie bin we just nearly hot on the driveway that has been there 2 days? He said I might have wanted the kitchen bin taking round somewhere. Where I have no idea, to the pub for a drink maybe?

He brings in the food shopping whilst I make tea, I rell him to take the bag of clothes upstairs (as it has a couple of xmas stocking fillers in) I am making tea and I have just discovered all the bags are in our bedroom including the food one's.

Do I have to give every tiny fucking detail or what? It's very very tiring.

Men.

lol at this thread
Picante - I just nearly spat out my tea all over the kepyboard!

They clearly are all the same. My (very intelligent) DH always puts the shoes in a little pile right next to the shoe cupboard - not in the cupboard of course - just next to it

I´m hoping that the men mentioned on here haven´t fathered sons, or if they have, the sons are being brought updifferently to their fathers!

Just 5 minutes ago...

DS watching that new cooking program on CBeebies. I spot some nifty flour shakers.

Me to DH: Ooh I'd like one of those for ds

DH: What are they?

Me: Flour shakers

DH: What do you use them for?

Me: ??????????!!

picante, i hope you have lots of fun flying the plane whilst you're in the throes of labour!

They do it on purpose, to prevent us from asking them again.

Doesn't work though QS - the bins being done wrong is still the bins being done by someone else.

DH has just had a moan at me because I've been on MN all evening & haven't sorted dinner, even though he said earlier that he would go to Tesco's to get some Chicken !! But because I didn't physically say "Are you going to go to Tesco's to get the chicken then?", he didn't f'ing go then has the cheek to moan at me because I haven't sorted dinner !!

diddl - I have fathered two boys and they are definitely showing tendencies of not being able to find anything or remember anything already. Its genetic as the genes clearly only exist on the Y chromosome.

DW is at her wits end ..... but we all adore her. Love conquers all. AWWWWwwwww.

Picante - PMSL at 'model aeroplane'.

He must have given you a pathetic excuse perfectly valid reason such as "Sorry love, I just forgot you are about to give birth".

I think their minds are elsewhere.

Me (shouting from upstairs getting ready to go out): "Dh, Have you changed DD's nappy yet"
DH (watching BBC news or something): "Yes!" (petulant stop nagging me tone)
Me (arriving downstairs to distinct smell of full nappy): "Are you sure you've changed dd's nappy"
DH: "What? You never asked me to"
Me: "Thought you said you'd changed it? When I shouted you, you said yes??!"
DH: "I meant yes I heard you."
Me: "...!"
DH: "Have you seen my mobile phone?"

And that, your honour, is why I killed him.

ROFL @ all the DHs described here

In our house we call the inability to find things 'looking with your mouth'

LOLOLOLOL

My Dadboss always opens the fridge and asks where the beer/milk/oj is.

It is ALWAYS on the shelf at eye level right in front of him, labels facing outwards so he can't mistake them for each other.

His next question is guaranteed to be "Is the beer cold/milk fresh/oj new?"

I don't know. Try it. Jeeeeeeeeeesus.

(I only get paid for one child but often feel I have two)

ok, my first two submissions:

my next-door neighbour's husband passed away recently. this morning the dvla untaxed vehicle squad were sniffing around his car. last i noticed, tax expired end of aug.

i ran upstairs to tell dp what i'd seen and that i was going to alert next door. to which he said:

"and tell them what?"

wtf?

dp was rencently in a bad car accident. the driver's leg broken on two places and hospitalised for 6 weeks. my dp bought a book to help wile away the hours. the book was called : 'the art of seduction'!

the friend is laid up in hospital, has a long term partner of 6 years, and dp buys 'the art of seduction!'

i swear that man is not too right in the head.

""DP's also great at putting the plates on the worktop, but allergic to opening the dishwasher just below - Must stop whinging, I could go on for hours!"

OMG, both DS & DH do this. They put the plate directly above the dishwasher, how hard is it to open it and pop it in? I mean REALLY? "

God, if I had a pound for every time DH did this. When I say "how hard is it to put it in the dishwasher" I get the response "I thought it was clean in there". Ermm, open the door and look ?

They ask for minute detail so we will get frustrated and think "it's better to do it myself". However, if we do that, we are making a rod for our own back.

Does anyone remember the song "There's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza"? I realised a few months ago that it is very like talking to a man being obtuse! To Liza's every response, "dear Henry" thinks up another problem!

Do have a look at the whole song; it's very funny!

You're all living at my place, aren't you?

my dh has done the laundry ONCE since we met, while i was in hospital

this is when i discover that aftre many years together he thinks we sort the clothes by type. not fabric type or colour but type of clothing

so he washes all the underwear together. his white vests and black pants, my ( underwired and so hand wash only) bras, baby & toddler white vests ( which i do in non bio powder as baby has eczema), DDs red and pink pants etc

you don't need me to tell you the outcome........

Can we diversify into revolting personal hygiene habits they have? Twice recently I have found DH's toenail clippings in the bath when have gone to run it for the kids. WTF can't he be arsed to run the tap and sloosh them down the plughole? How would he like it, I rant, if he went to run bath and found it full of my trimmed pubes for instance? He said he wouldn't mind and genuinely has no idea why I am making such a fuss!

Retro I fear none of it is on their radar. It really doesn't bother them at all. Bless their cotton (turned pink in the wash) socks

Yes. He is thick.

And so is mine. When I go out and ask my DH to do something round the house (eg put washing on) he gets all panicky and says "make me a list!"

So I do.

And I put every possible thing I can think of on there rather than the one thing I'd initially asked.
And he does them all.

Idiot. Should learn to listen to me, eh?!

KristinaM - Sorts the washing by type??? Your husband is a loon!!

KristinaM

My bras are underwired, & are machine washable.

Being underwired doesn´t mean that they automatically can´t go in a machine!

ah bless this is so funny! have also just realised i am the thick one in my marriage, and i am a teacher!!

must be my special industrial strength ones

but yes he is a loon. he has a science PhD, which probably explains it

No,Kristina, I owe you an apology.

Not all my underwired ones are machine washable.

Some are, & I have got into the habit of putting them all (apart fromflimsy/lacy in the machine.

It´s never done any harm, btw