Is my husband being thick or what?

[carocaro]

Just come in, two hungry kids with one who has pooed himself.

I sort out the poo one. I shout to DH who is upstairs to throw me down new pants and trousers, he yells back, for who?

I then tell DH to bring bin round, whilst I make tea, what bin from where? he says 'eer the massive black wheelie bin we just nearly hot on the driveway that has been there 2 days? He said I might have wanted the kitchen bin taking round somewhere. Where I have no idea, to the pub for a drink maybe?

He brings in the food shopping whilst I make tea, I rell him to take the bag of clothes upstairs (as it has a couple of xmas stocking fillers in) I am making tea and I have just discovered all the bags are in our bedroom including the food one's.

Do I have to give every tiny fucking detail or what? It's very very tiring.

Men.

hi purple still fucking hurts and too stiff/swollen to bend but getting no where with physio referral How are you? sorry not been over to visit you recently, I'll pop by now to find out how you're getting on

pickety...that just made me smile! definitely a photo to keep for blackmail purposes!

Pickety DH is laughing at your pick but then said "it looks quite cool"

ROFL at picketyBing, that is brilliant!

I came into the bedroom last night to find DW langerously reclining on the bed, she turned to me, fixed me with a steady gaze and uttered the immortal words:

"Beta, you do know women can multi-task dont you?"

I have to admit that after 25 years together I just found that moment impossibly, incredibly and strangely alluring.

I naturally agreed with her.

Just snorted shreddies down my nose looking at picketybings pic.
Have to join in the moan; DH will only do housework if I am also doing housework. If I am sitting down for 5 minutes he can't carry on.
DH: "Shall WE do some tidying?"
BB: "If YOU want to then please go ahead".
Then tidies just by shoving stuff into random drawers so we can't find anything and it takes me twice as long to do the job properly.

miamla - that thread has dropped off my convo list, and not sure how to find it

hang on, i'll get you a link here you go

this thread is hilarious - my dh does so many of these things - the one thing that never ceases to amaze me is that he is an outstanding police officer but manages to leave his powers of detection at the front door with his boots - as well as any use of initiative

Me & DH once had a blazing row about him not doing his share of babycare when PFB was about 5 months old. Accusations & anecdotes were being tossed around willy-nilly. We somehow decided that a fair way to settle the argument about who was the most crap, would be to make a pile containing the items needed for the baby change bag for an overnight visit to his parents'. (I know it sounds mad, we were sleep-deprived and a bit stir crazy).

Anyway my pile was something like: wipes, nappies, baby wash, baby lotion, nappy cream, 4 vests, 2 outfits, coat, bibs, dummy in box, blanket, toy, sunhat, suncream, booties, 2 sleepsuits, 2 muslins, roll-up changing mat, board book, squeaky toy.

His pile was:
2 large skeins of cotton wool (I had only ever used a tiny corner from one when DD had a sticky eye)
2 nappies
1 outfit
A sample pack of nipple shields from the Bounty pack 10 months previously

6 years later, I've just had our second baby and had a tough recovery. DH has been fantastic, school run in the morning, worked all day, cooked dinner, housework in the evening. He is utterly fantastic and I am crazy about him.

Thanks Miamla

howling at the popper vest over jeans combo!

Pickety Bing that is amazing. LMAO.

ROFL @ sample pack of nipple shields

he'd get very short shrift from me!

hehe SSC that's one skein of cotton wool per nappy. Sounds about right

Do you know what I think it is? I think that they don't see it as their jobs to do and so subconsciously never pay attention to any instructions. Like when I'm at work, quite often if I think something doesn't relate to me I will switch off....

I blame their mothers... they have been taught from very early on that it's not their job, they can't do it properly and they are hopeless etc.

Mothers with sons, do your future DILs a favour, teach the boys how to do stuff

Twas me that irons the 3 month olds clothes..whats wrong with that, I like him to look neat and tidy for at least 6 mins before he pukes down himself

Another thing dp cant do is sort washing...he is actually colourblind so for that I forgive him, what I cant forgive him is putting one of the girls in a swim nappy instead of a normal nappy, couldnt work out why dd was wailing in her carseat, of course the poor thing was sitting in a puddle of wee.....when asked why he used a swim nappy , he said he just liked the nemo design better

Sadly I shrunk my DP's trousers in the tumble dryer the other week so I can't really comment about his inadequacies.

Oh, I 'm ROFLing !!! If I ask my OH to bring the dishes in the kitchen after we 've had dinner, so that I can put them in the dishwasher, he brings them in OK. But he leaves the glasses, knives, forks and anything else on the table !!! FFS !!! And when I start screaming, he ALWAYS says: "But you said the DISHES !!!"

Sardine Queen - that's exactly what I thought. Brilliant, hilarious thread - but do us mothers of sons have any power to change it? I think it may be the fathers of sons who pass this down the line...

LMAO at this thread. Muffin's washing anecdote reminded that DH is not perfect as he too has done this "I put the washing out but I think it smells a bit funny".

He is also incapable of dressing DS.

And I had to cancel my cards because he had moved my bag from by the front door when he was decorating. Although he denied this, he still went off to look in our bedroom for said bag. It turned up a week later. In our bedroom. He was amazed.

But I will forgive him as it is me who is always asking "where is the... oh I've found it" "Have you seen my... don't worry. I remember". And he does the hoovering and the bins.

I am not sure it is something that needs changing. It is all pretty funny.

Oh goodness where do I start...!

I'll do one now and come back later with a few hundred a couple more examples.

Saturday afternoon. I send dh into town with ds with the specific purpose of getting some important last minute pregnancy stuff from Boots. I wrote a list which he duly took with him. I even talked through all the items e.g. Arnica to explain why I needed them.

He comes back 3 hours later...

with a model aeroplane.

And nothing else.

He was so scared of my reaction he phoned me 100 yards from home when he realised he'd forgotten to prepare me!

This thread makes me so proud of my gender!

You'll never know the pleasure we get from telling each other stories of how we "wound up the missus"...gulp.