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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is my husband being thick or what?

153 replies

carocaro · 07/10/2009 17:09

Just come in, two hungry kids with one who has pooed himself.

I sort out the poo one. I shout to DH who is upstairs to throw me down new pants and trousers, he yells back, for who?

I then tell DH to bring bin round, whilst I make tea, what bin from where? he says 'eer the massive black wheelie bin we just nearly hot on the driveway that has been there 2 days? He said I might have wanted the kitchen bin taking round somewhere. Where I have no idea, to the pub for a drink maybe?

He brings in the food shopping whilst I make tea, I rell him to take the bag of clothes upstairs (as it has a couple of xmas stocking fillers in) I am making tea and I have just discovered all the bags are in our bedroom including the food one's.

Do I have to give every tiny fucking detail or what? It's very very tiring.

Men.

OP posts:
lovechoc · 07/10/2009 19:54

squishabelle you have my husband!!!! DH can't put a toilet roll on the holder either. He just puts it on the ground, and there's always a big collection of the tubes lying around. Nice. Muggins has to pick them up

lovechoc · 07/10/2009 19:55

nope, women are perfect didn't you know UnquietDad.

TheBatterflyEffect · 07/10/2009 19:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Morloth · 07/10/2009 20:01

Without a doubt UnquietDad, my personal thing is leaving my keys in the freezer. I mean who leaves their keys in the freezer? My "Blonde Moments" are freely remarked upon...all in good fun.

Bessie123 · 07/10/2009 20:02

My dp does sometimes shrink things in the washing machine and needs instructions on how to cook dd's dinner but he does all the rubbish, recycling, tea making, most of the washing up and some of the tidying [smug].

He does get annoyed with me for being crap though. Maybe I am your husband

BrokkenHarted · 07/10/2009 20:17

HAHA - I so rarely read an etire thread but i have killed myself laughing at this one!

My husbands best is 'Where is the chopping board' -
In the cupboard! The same place it was last time and the time before! I mean, come on!!!

monkeypinkmonkey · 07/10/2009 20:27

My fave is 'where's i.e. keys, coat, phone etc' when he clearly hasn't even looked for them yet! My answer always always 'oh I don't know' een when I do. Te he he.

monkeypinkmonkey · 07/10/2009 20:29

even

Morloth · 07/10/2009 20:31

Then there is "I left it right here, you must have moved it. It was right here - you tidied up didn't you?".

For me to walk over and put my hand immediately on whatever it is he is on about, which is invariably exactly where he claimed he left it.

UnquietDad · 07/10/2009 20:33

There is that theory that men and women have different ways of looking for things though. Men see things better holistically and women see the details better.

merryberry · 07/10/2009 20:35

i get his:

me, paraphrasing: 'job detail, detail, detail, etc. blah blah blah, instructions etc'
him: 'god it's not rocket science, i get it, alright, i can figure it out'

i back right off, to live in hope

him, several unfinished hours and crying children later: 'um, i don't know what's wrong with x,y,z'
me: you needed to ''job detail, detail, detail, etc. blah blah blah, instructions etc'
him: 'oh, sorry'

and to be fair, takes instruction better, the next 3 times before reverting to type. it's not so much a man/woman thing in our case i reckon. it's that i'm main carer/housewife, i am actually the fecking expert. have some respect, learn from me! it's not all a pile of easy tripe. i don't come over all 'yeah easy i'll do it no problem' when i work for his company and i DON'T KNOW IT

SolidGhoulBrass · 07/10/2009 20:40

Oh ffs why do women still fall for this bullshit that it's because men's brains are different and having a cock means you can't operate a washing machine as it's so much harder than driving a car or flying a helicopter.
This is a very simple, selfish, sexist strategy. The aim is to demonstrate to you repeatedly until you get it into your fluffy little head that all the childcare and all the household shitwork is your responsibility because you have ovaries.
DON't fall for it.

MrsVik · 07/10/2009 20:56

Conversation when I was unwell once:

MrsVik - Could you pop down into the cellar to see if the washing is dry?

MrVik (after trundling down to the dryer and back again) - Yup, it's all dry!

Pause....

MrsVik - well, where is it then??

MrVik - in the dryer!! I didn't know I had to get it out, you didn't say...

The best yet was me asking him to take the stuff out of the washing machine to put it in the dryer. He was gone for about 15 mins, after which he came back upstairs, dripping wet. I asked what the hell was going on and he replied 'well, the door was jammed, for some reason, so I pulled and pulled and eventually I managed to open it, and a ton of water flooded out all over the place!!' So, obviously I'd got my timing off and the washing machine hadn't finished yet... then I asked him what he did next and he said 'I put it in the dryer of course, although it's pretty damned wet, I think it's going to take AGES to dry!'

Mind you, thank God I have him to sort out things like finances etc - I'd be lost there!

UnquietDad · 07/10/2009 21:02

Mrs Vik, you demonstrate the problem precisely!

You should have said "Could you pop down into the cellar to see if the washing is dry and take it out and bring it up if it is."

corriefan · 07/10/2009 21:06

Another recurrent scenario my dh and I have goes like this
dh: Why can I never find my black jumpers anywhere?
me: I don't know probably in the wardrobe or drawer.
dh:no definitely not. I've looked all over.
me: I bet I'll find one
dh:hmm that would be very helpful
me: here.
dh: oh

Bless

Original poster
carocaro · 07/10/2009 21:10

I have just showed my DH this thread, the one I started and the responses, we've had 2 ciders each and he has found it very funny and he said reading it in black and white did make him look thick!

YEY!

SolidGhoulBrass - what you wrote is so fucking funny, I've had to read it out loud twice!

So glad it's not just me, brill!

OP posts:
Casserole · 07/10/2009 21:40

You are clearly all living with my husband.

Bitches.

Oh, actually... as you were. It's much more peaceful and orderly when he's not here

SolidGhoulBrass · 07/10/2009 22:46

It drives me nuts that so many men get away with this, because it's NOT that men aren't capable of doing domestic work and childcare. DS dad has changed lots of nappies, can cook a meal for DS, bath him, dress him perfectly appropriately, washes dishes etc. He hoovers and dusts etc in his own home, I wouldn't expect him to do it in ours as I think that's kind of asking a bit much of a visitor (he doesnlt live with us).

Polaris · 07/10/2009 22:50

HA! Have just read the OP's post and have tears rolling down my face. ROFL!

TigerBitesAgain · 07/10/2009 22:56

OMG, I thought DH was faithful, and all the time, the bastard.....

DH doesn't have a mobile (source of intermittent grousing from me) but does use email all the time at work (who doesn't?). So I email him absolutely every bloody thing he's supposed to do or even better, has agreed to. And print it out. And wave it in his helpless but charming face when he's denying all knowledge of a kid's party, dentist trip, holiday etc etc you fill in the gaps.

Works a treat, he can't deny it!

MedusaHead · 07/10/2009 22:57

In the olden days before I was a sahm and we both worked and my DH did some of the chores he would put the damp clothes on the airer. He would start hanging it properly and then after a couple of garments he would get bored and just throw the clothes at it. Anything that landed on the floor he would pick up and throw it at the airer again. After that anything on the floor stayed there and the rest was just a jumble on the airer

He's a lazy bastard.

pellmell · 07/10/2009 23:07

mine will never (it seems) agree that heating baked beans in the microwave requires a lid or some bloody cling film.....
one day I swear I'm going to scrape off the splattered mess and serve it on his lap

pruneplus2 · 07/10/2009 23:13

I remember long ago leaving my eldest DC with my (now) exH for a few hours for the first time (DC was a few days old at the time) When I got back, DC had nappy on back to front (?!) but worse, had sleepsuit on upside down - somehow the ex twat H had managed to put DC's arms through legs and legs through arms AND still manage to popper it up. A feat in itself.

In fairness, he did get better, with gentle guidance.

More recently, I sent a text to ask my OH to put clothes on the line if he got back before me - he text back saying "ok" - a few hours later he sent a text saying "How do I hang jeans? By waist or legs?"

Like it really fking matters!

I am working on him...

Squishabelle · 07/10/2009 23:15

Mine screws up bits of paper /rubbish and throws it at the wastepaper bin. If it misses he never picks it up and it usually sails behind the tv where muggins me finds it difficult to reach. Has done the same with appe cores. Bloody infuriating.

TigerBitesAgain · 07/10/2009 23:19

It's a "difficult" question re these DPs/DHs. Are they all completely useless or just literalists?

I have worked with people who are absolutely literal and you have to be very very careful what questions you ask or instructions you give (eg, just watch that pan, will you?, ends in disaster, as they were, er, just watching the bloody pan).

And on another unconnected note, I have instructed lawyers in Japan who have taken the exact same literal approach to questions, eg "will this cause any problems for our client". Answer (with 12 hour time gap): Yes. me, through gritted teeth and another time gap: "oh, and could you please tell me what they would be, when they might happen and what can be done about it?".