Is my husband being thick or what?

[carocaro]

Just come in, two hungry kids with one who has pooed himself.

I sort out the poo one. I shout to DH who is upstairs to throw me down new pants and trousers, he yells back, for who?

I then tell DH to bring bin round, whilst I make tea, what bin from where? he says 'eer the massive black wheelie bin we just nearly hot on the driveway that has been there 2 days? He said I might have wanted the kitchen bin taking round somewhere. Where I have no idea, to the pub for a drink maybe?

He brings in the food shopping whilst I make tea, I rell him to take the bag of clothes upstairs (as it has a couple of xmas stocking fillers in) I am making tea and I have just discovered all the bags are in our bedroom including the food one's.

Do I have to give every tiny fucking detail or what? It's very very tiring.

Men.

LOL at muffin!

I don't know whether to laugh or cry at this thread, my DH does most of the same things. Can there be a proper reason?

The one with the clothes is relevant because DH will ask what to dress him in and usually if I leave it to him it's unco-ordinated or I just don't like it so really I suppose that's my problem not his?

Maybe the men are so scared of doing things wrong they just ask us instead? I know this does not account for all of the above which includes very high levels of plain old afshioned stupidity!

Its usually the opposite way around in my house.

My SIL's DP once asked her what he should give their DD for breakfast. SIL told him there were some jars in the cupboard.
DP looks in the cupboard, gets a jar & gives it to her, then leaves said jar on the table in the living room (cos it's soooooooo far to the bin !!!!). SIL catches a glance at the jar before she throws it in the bin to see that he has given her Grandpa's Sunday Lunch

His response ??

"You said there were jars in the cupboard, you didn't tell me to look for a jar of breakfast"

WTF ?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Brilliant thread!
My dp dressed 3 month old ds the other day...(have to add that he only managed this because I had left his ironed outfit out on the bed!) my mistake was not leaving out socks.............I get to toddler group, ds has kicked off his little leather slip on shoes, to reveal pink flowery socks that reached up up his nappy! he had put the poor boy in 4 yr old dds socks.......another thing he does is put jeans on the wrong dd, bearing in mind dd1 is a lanky 4yr old and dd2 is a shrimpy 2 yr old...makes for an interesting look! When I went into hospital to have ds I actually left outfits (including knickers and socks) for each girl for each day I expected to be away, and labeled the hanger with which girl the outfit was for and which shoes and coat to put with the outfit!!

DH, DSs 1-4 & I have all lived in this house for nearly 3 years. Recycling is BIG here. I stuck the list of Do Recycle and Don't Recycle on the lid of the recycling bin. If I find a such a thing as a sodden kitchen towel in said recycling bin I know it can only be DH who has put it there.

Recently my DH has asked me the following burning questions:

• Could he use a baby wipe to wipe the highchair or should it be kitchen roll;
• What should he write in his dad's birthday card (I dunno, Happy Birthday Dad maybe?
• Can he use fairy liquid in the dishwasher;
• Can he use a dishwasher tablet in the washing up bowl
• Does the baby need a coat and socks on too(well given that you can see your breath in the air this morning I'd say yes, possibly
• What does the baby wear for swimming (er, a swim nappy and a Happy Nappy same as the last 20 odd times)
• What book should he read the baby (I dunno, just pick one of the 30-odd on the shelf, FGS!!)

He manages to ask these questions at the most incovenient times, then always manages to mishear the answer so I have to shout then says "there's no need to shout".

he is lovely though most of the time so he's forgiven...

LOL at this thread.

My DH too is an expert in not looking for things and then saying huffily "where is (insert thing that is in fact RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS FACE)".

Dressing DSs he has a problem with too. Asked him to bring some babygros to hospital for our newborn DS2. Turns up with some that are for 3-6 months. Oh didn't know they came in different sizes, he says.

He's good at doing the middle of the night feeds though so I guess I can forgive him.

I don't even answer the "where is the..." questions anymore.
So it goes like this:

DH: Where is the blender/ other household item that has been in the same place for the last 8 years

ME:

DH: "oh"

Never mind the thick husbands, I didn't get past the the post where someone mentioned that she ironed clothes for a 3 month old baby!

Why would you do that? Why?

3 month olds DON'T CARE.

Mine also standard.

Thing about these threads is the faults are mentioned and the good points not so much - that is point of thread. Am always a bit at people who (deliberately?) miss this rather salient point.

Mine goes above and beyond the call of duty, by not only doing many of the things above (muffin love your washing one) but also doing additional ludicrous things surrounding his many hobbies, which all seem to involve superglue, blades and small sharp pieces of plastic, and so do not mix well with toddlers and babies.

His stock response to eg me pointing out that he has left superglue and stanley knife on baby playmat is to look surprised and worried and claim "I don't know how that can possibly have happened"...

On the upside (for balance) he is much more patient than me and will happily do stuff like baking and painting with DD1 for hours leaving me to MN in peace

Can't join in with this DH is a whizz around the house - maybe the exception that proves the rule. Though he does do everything slowly and thoroughly that drives me crazy - its a boring job just do it and run.

Purpleduck - NOOOOOoooooo!

That is just cruel. DW does that by saying something obtuse like "where you put it" or "where it usually is".

The thing is I have been looking and am really asking for help and am already embarrassed and feeling silly and am about to explode with frustration.

The way to handle this is to say: "Don't worry dear, I'll find it while you wash, look after DC, do ironing, [insert task]"

Then go and have a rest for 15 minutes knowing exactly where it is already.

This goes on in our house too. Why do I have to explain to dh who apparently was worthy of a degree at some point how to collapse the buggy every fooking time - we have owned it for two years

I may just delibrately put the hand blender BEHIND the crock pot next time..

mwah ha ha!!!

Seriously BetaDad - wouldn't it be a boost to his confidence to let him find it? Then next time he will have more faith in his ability to Search?

AAAGH! DH also does the recycling thing. We keep ours outside, underneath the utility window. This was his idea, so that we don't have to have the bin inside. You open the window and drop the bottle into the open bin.

Fine, the system works.... mostly.

However.... He leaves the bottles and jars ON THE F*CKING WINDOWSILL BECAUSE HE CAN'T BE ARSED TO OPEN THE WINDOW TO DROP THE STUFF IN....

The most irritating thing about this is that you can't open the sodding window because he's piled up the stuff in front of it......

Grounds for divorce methinks....

purpleduck - GAAAAAAaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhh!

No it would not boost his confidence.

It will wind him up, make his hair fall out, cause him to become impotent, give him a heart attack and very possibly cause a divorce. He knows you know where it is, just like I know DW knows where stuff is.

conversation with DP tonight...

him: where's the extension lead?
me: don't know, you had it last
him: well, do you know where i put it?

the boy can't find anything even if i give him the most precise location possible! He doesn't see things if they're hiding behind other things eg the large bag of sugar 'hiding' behind the tin of tuna

I would love to see a gallery of the wierd ensembles our DPs have dressed DCs in. We've had all sorts - tops put on as skirts, nappy over tights, the works.

I'd love to see that too AnyFuleKno - DH regularly puts DS in pyjama tops to go out in....

My DH does the 'hidden' things too (as well as all the other things listed) - if what he wants isn't the only thing in the cupboard/drawer (not likely) then he can't see it. Heaven forbid you should actually have to move anything to find what you're looking for! While I've been reading this thread & having a good laugh, DH (in the other room, watching TV) has asked me "what's the time?", "where's the paper?","what's DS doing?" FFS - I don't know I'm on the frigging PC!!!!! And why is it when he does do anything it's always been done for me, eg "I've done the washing up FOR YOU", "I've got the washing in FOR YOU" like it's only my stuff! Drives me insane!

LOL Beta

Hi Miamla - how's the knee?

This is a classic thread, best laugh I've had in ages.

Don't even get me started on the whites wash or what apparently counts as white in our house. As long as there are a couple of white things in there then it must be ok to throw a load of coloured stuff in too. I don't own a pair of knickers that's not storm cloud grey. And then it's 'why don't you have any nice underwear like you used to'

When DD was very new, I asked DP to get her dressed. She was wearing tights that were a little too big for her, so I told him to fasten the vest poppers over the tights, just to hold them on.

Fast forward a few weeks. Asked him to get DD dressed again. Shouted up to me "Pickety, this doesn't look quite right..." Pissed self laughing when I saw what he'd done. Please see my profile for photographic evidence of daftness.

PicketyBing - that is classic!!!!