To be pissed off at the fuss brother in law and life are making for their kid's 1st birthday?

[Jude68]

Their 1st dc and our 2nd dc's were born only two month's apart. When DD2 had her 1st birthday at the end of August my partner didn't want to take a precious day's leave from work for her birthday as he said "she's only 1, she won't care anyway." All we did was get her a cake, sing happy birthday and helped her open her presents in the evening when the grandparents (one set anyway) were there. They live with us anyway so it's not like they had to make the effort to come over.
DP's brother saw him at work and said should he give DP her present or bring it over the following Sunday when they were coming over for lunch anyway...nothing to do with celebrating DC's birthday.
Now for their DC's upcoming big day they are planning a big family outing to a farm (shit choice) and have published a list, like a wedding list where people can choose what to get their daughter from.
Now it's up to them I suppose how they choose to celebrate but it's making me feel pissed off with DP, guilty with myself and sad for DC2 that we didn't make a fuss.
Am I being pathetic? What did you do for 1st birthdays? I know the baby doesn't care but it's showing everyone else how much you love them isn't it?

blinking heck you are a troll no?

You've been doing this for aaages too. That's a fair investment in trolling.

So why did you care if they cared about the birth of your dd2?

Jude either you are passing your time on MN by making sweeping generalisations and nasty comments to cause a furore or you are real.

The first scenario is a tad sad, but has been done to death (and far better)the second, if you really do believe the tripe that you type, well, words fail me.....

Or is this an example of thoughts that should stay as thoughts and not be in the public domain.

Mean spirited and nasty.

I suspect I've just shot myself in the foot now. Bugger. I always go too far. Bottom line is I don't like them. I'll probably have to go to the party but they'll be getting a Pound-Land present. In January we'll make a low-key fuss of DD1. Just enough to make me and more importantly her happy and stuff what anyone else chooses to do.

If you look as nasty as you sound i'd say their kid must be a princess in comparison to you. Trolls aren't pretty.

"I'll probably have to go to the party but they'll be getting a Pound-Land present."

Not they - your innocent little niece. Poor thing.

Please please tell us you're a hilarious troll, sad as it is, how lamentable to be so mean spirited

I find this so sad. I have just met my niece and nephew for the first time and they are 9 and 7. I would not dream of buying them something from poundland.....

TLE - troll i reckon - no one in real could be that nasty imo

OMG! I can't believe this thread has evolved into such bitterness and jealousy from the OP. I actually felt a bit sympathetic at first but now I just think it doesn't matter what they do, you will find something to point your broomstick at, OP.

Yuck.

Horrible thread.

No wonder they didnt want to come to see you. You are really horrible.

beggars belief

Gosh surely they should make the most of not having to do a party there will be years and years ahead when parties will really matter to the DC and will require alot of effort on the parents part.

I like the idea of the couple who took the baby to the park and drank a bottle of champagne.

Also whats that saying - dont compare yourself to other people lest you become vain or bitter. Wise words indeed!

at wedding present style gift list!
For DSs 1st we invited a set of Godparents over for the evening and had a chinese takeaway! He sat in his high chair happily with handfuls of noodles and beansprouts in his hair! He didn't even get a cake as it had been one of those days!

Am expecting that DS will insist his sister has a cake for him to eat this November, but I am struggling to think of present ideas for her as they have sooo much stuff any way and Christmas is inevitable!

I don't think YABU at all

My heavens. You are quite something, Jude. I feel quite sympathetic to the rest of your family and do not blame them for not coming to see you after the birth of your DD.

I felt quite sorry for you last night Jude, I thought the others were a bit harsh with you.
Not any more.
What a spiteful thing to say about an innocent little baby and her mother.
IMO the personality of a person is far more important than their looks - and your personality is looking uglier and uglier the more you post.

Do you know why they didn't come and see you when your baby was born Jude?

It wasn't supersition.
It wasn't to give you time together.

It was because you're a Grade A Bitch.

very kind marmaduke

Um, what does that make you then Casserole?

it sounds like your BIL & SIL have picked up on your nastiness attitude towards them .

I suspect that Jude regrets what she has posted, hence not coming back on.
I think she has just posted thoughts that should have stayed as thoughts, so whilst I don't agree with what shes said I can understand why she is hurt and put out.

I think you do need to talk to your SIL though, Jude. Because this resentment will build and build.

I am feeling charitable because it is Friday and I have wine a cooling.

Jude, do you actually like anybody you are related to? Seriously, you need therapy. You make yourself feel better about yourself by making everybody around you feel like crap.

lizzylou

Perhaps some strategies would help Jude...
So hypothetically what does one do if one has family like this and is stuck going through the farce of showing up to these events with people no matter how hard you try you just cannot rub along with?

That's nice, take it out on the ugly baby.

What a horrible person, I hope they don't have have long conversations about your poor partner and how he is stuck with you.