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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to say my daughter can't shave her legs?

311 replies

Iwillpopthekettleon · 29/09/2009 20:30

My DD1 is fed up with her "hairy legs" to be honest I don't think they are that bad, but then what do I know?! She is 12 and certainly things are happening and her body is changing, but doesn't 12 seem awfully young to be starting down that road?

I know she could use that stinky cream stuff and she doesn't have to slice her legs to ribbons like I remember doing ( and always when I was just about to go out!) but she seems so young.

I am not ready for this yet!! Has anyone else had this come up ?!! Help!!

OP posts:
SarfEasticated · 30/09/2009 16:07

'Excess body hair puts people OFF. It's animal, and smelly, and unpleasant.'

Crikey Colditz that's a bit harsh

colditz · 30/09/2009 17:06

Harsh but true. Ask anyone.

Lots of women don't like beards. Lots of men don't like hairy lady-legs.

piscesmoon · 30/09/2009 17:18

I'm quite happy to conform.

NotanOtter · 30/09/2009 17:28

i love dps stubble
love him with a beard too

LynetteScavo · 30/09/2009 18:39

I don't think your were harsh, Coldits...I would never snog a beardy weirdy. (a subtle goatie would be fine though!)

What is so wrong with conforming, anyway?

If anyone can answer this, I would love to know, so I can tell my DS's teachers when they cry "He needs to learn to conform!"

LynetteScavo · 30/09/2009 18:40

IMO, there's nothing lovlier than freshly shvaved and moisterised smooth legs!

SarfEasticated · 30/09/2009 18:43

True for you Colditz. Not true for everyone, lots of us love our partners whether they have hairy backs, legs or chests.
I find your comment really offensive, insensitive and nasty. Lots of people are hairy because of medical conditions which don't react well to hair removal treatments, and live a life of shame and misery because of attitudes like yours.

LadyFoof · 30/09/2009 18:44

I tried to say no to DD (nearly 12), but in the end got her an epilator - the reason being I hope in time she'll get less regrowth. Have to say she's only used it once in 3 months, she'd rather have hairy legs than the pain...

colditz · 30/09/2009 19:05

They live a life of shame and misery because of our culture's attitude to excessive body hair, not because of me personally.

SarfEasticated · 30/09/2009 19:46

Because of attitudes like yours branding them
'animal, and smelly, and unpleasant'

colditz · 30/09/2009 19:58

Well, whatcan be done about that?

I can't suddenly start fancying men with beards - I'm sure some women do, but most don't -= most women find them icky and off putting. must British men dislike seeing underarm and leg hair on women. Are they wrong to have preferences? Or merely wrong to allow their preferences to dictate who they choose for a partner?

NotanOtter · 30/09/2009 20:21

colditz - sweeping statements
beards can be very culture specific - in some cultures ALL men wear them - many many millions of women worldwide fancy bearded men

colditz · 30/09/2009 20:23

That's why I specified our culture, NAO

bergentulip · 30/09/2009 20:29

I remember I started shaving my legs at about 12/13.

All my friends were and I just copied. I would have stuck out like a sore thumb if I did not, so sorry, YABU.

Although, I think I would be the same in your situation and not want to let my daughter so young.

SarfEasticated · 30/09/2009 20:56

Of course not, you are free to fancy who you like, your sweeping statement just branded all hairy people as 'smelly' and that everyone felt like that.
They don't and saying that makes people feel bad about themselves.

girlafraid · 30/09/2009 20:59

My mum wouldn't let me shave my legs - all part of her resenting me and generally wielding whatever power she could over me. I believe she felt that she "owned" me and could make these decisions for me - still annoys me to this day (though there's more to it than just that)

snapple · 30/09/2009 21:07

YABU they are her legs not yours.

CommonNortherner · 30/09/2009 21:08

I shaved my legs at 12 because I was called hairy knees at school by my male friends... they're so nice at that age!

I did it in secret with my mum's old fashioned razor where you put the blade in and close the top... on dry legs. Then I hid it from my mum because I thought she would be angry for some reason!

Would've been much easier to have her on board!

Even now I wish I had the guts to go against our culture and keep the hair all year round instead of just in winter! But I just couldn't deal with it, I assume it would be harder for a 12 year old!

NotanOtter · 30/09/2009 21:09

i suppose you'd all let her get a tat too?

LadyFoof · 30/09/2009 21:11

Completely different! The removal of hair is reversible, tatts aren't!

NotanOtter · 30/09/2009 21:13

or is there no place for the argument that 'you are 12 years old and beautiful as nature intended. If the trogs at school want to laugh you let them - rise above it'

if a child has inner confidence (which often stems feeling secure i agree) then what's up with this?

dd's friends wax their eyebrows - she doesn't - now she witters to me about how they have stubble and looked better before

is there no place for this any more?

we all have to conform or be damned?

LadyFoof · 30/09/2009 21:17

I gave DD that talk. She went away, and thought about it, and talked with her friends (the REAL ones). Three months later, she still wanted to go ahead, and we researched all the different methods together and she made a decision. An informed one, I'd like to think.

And as others have said, I'd rather she talked it over with me than went behind my back and shredded herself with a razor! Anyway, she shaves under her arms which is also cosmetic, if you think about it, so there are valid arguments on both sides.

macdoodle · 30/09/2009 21:29

My DD1 is 8 and IS being teased..she has very dark thick hairy legs (like me)...I am wondering how old she should be before I take her with me to my next wax

PeedOffWithNits · 30/09/2009 21:51

crikey, my DD is approaching 10 and I had NO IDEA we were going to be facing this issue so soon, according to these posts.Y6's shaving etc. OMG.

i had thought maybe at 14ish

old fashioned thats me.

colditz · 30/09/2009 22:32

It's easy to rise above something when you are 32 and have 20 years worth of dealing with your body and it's functions.

Not so easy when EVERYONE at school is taking the piss viciously for something you can't help.

WHY would you set a 12 year old up for this? Why wouldn't you do what you can to alleviate some of the sheer misery of having to undress in front of adolescent girls? I wouldn't want to strip in front of 13 year old girls, and I'm 29, when I was 12/13 it was tortuous.