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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to say my daughter can't shave her legs?

311 replies

Iwillpopthekettleon · 29/09/2009 20:30

My DD1 is fed up with her "hairy legs" to be honest I don't think they are that bad, but then what do I know?! She is 12 and certainly things are happening and her body is changing, but doesn't 12 seem awfully young to be starting down that road?

I know she could use that stinky cream stuff and she doesn't have to slice her legs to ribbons like I remember doing ( and always when I was just about to go out!) but she seems so young.

I am not ready for this yet!! Has anyone else had this come up ?!! Help!!

OP posts:
Milliways · 29/09/2009 20:41

At least let her use cream

TBH, I was the same when DD started in Yr7 as well (now 18). However, she went from cream to epilator, has NEVER shaved and the hairs on her legs are already giving up the fight

She is now after a new epilator as hers is getting too blunt to do her underarms properly.

AllGoneSouth · 29/09/2009 20:42

Both my DDs have been shaving their legs and underarms since they were in year 6. They were quite happy for me to do it for them the first couple of times to show them how it's done. They have good quality razors and so far have only had the odd little nick.

So YABU if you say no now that she has become bothered enough to want to defuzz.

minxofmancunia · 29/09/2009 20:42

I've always had yeti legs and was desperate to shave them by 12 but my Mum wouldn't let me, eventually did them in secret and she was really furious with me, quite nasty in fact. Can still remember that telling off to this day. Never understood her issue about it.

YABVU, please give your consent to your dd shaving her legs. Being ostracised and bullied cos of stuff like this at her age is (speaking from personal experience) really grim.

fishie · 29/09/2009 20:43

how about an epilator? the new ones aren't half as painful. here

LynetteScavo · 29/09/2009 20:44

An epilator sounds a good idea.

YouLukaAmazing · 29/09/2009 20:46

Message withdrawn

Dominique07 · 29/09/2009 20:48

I don't think its necessary! Don't they wear trousers or tights to cover legs? Its going to be winter now. Can't you say not yet, you're only 12. Wait till summer and then you can buy her razors and cream to use. Unless its a serious problem; at the age of 12 they want to do everything - if you say yes to this she'll want to wear makeup and pierce her ears.
She is 12 not 16. Ask her what this will be for? Does she want a man to stroke her smooth legs?

TrillianAstra · 29/09/2009 20:48

please let her remove her hair somehow.

If you want extra good mum points buy her some decent equipment and show her how to use it.

amtooyoungforthis · 29/09/2009 20:49

Please let her!! It will be noticed at school and what does it matter if she does now or in a year or two?

shaving does not make hair grow back thicker, it appears thicker and the hair regrowth is blunt, natural regrowth is tapered. There are so many methods she can use and it will be lovely if you help her find the best method for her. The novelty will wear off eventually, it's just really important for adolescents to fit in

Teach her how to shave, or buy her veet or a shaver or take her to be waxed (my personal favourite, as if you do it long enough, the hair does lessen)

It can be your first step into her womanhood, take it with her

BonsoirAnna · 29/09/2009 20:51

Better to buy her an epilator.

abroadandmisunderstood · 29/09/2009 20:51

I was the very same as your DD. Mum didn't want me to start shaving...I think it was denial that I was growing up. All these horror stories of how once you shave the first time, then that is it. You are stuck with doing it for the rest of your life etc. etc.

So, I "borrowed" her electric razor and hid in my room and did it. Don't make your DD have to hide away and attempt it herself. I feel for her.

Let's not even discuss her slapping me in the face for losing my virginity to my long term boyfriend when I was 18 (issues emoticon required)

hanaboo · 29/09/2009 20:51

i will be letting my dd get rid of any hair whenever she feels the need, i will only be letting her wax/epilate though, i hate shaving and all the stubble that comes with, if u wax 4 long enough the hairs eventually basically disappear.
me n my mum argued over me shaving when i was 12/13 i was getting teased quite badly, please let her do it

differentID · 29/09/2009 20:52

I would let her. I was like a yeti at 9 and frequently went home crying from school because of the constant bullying until I was 14 when I pinched my mum's razor and did them.

Dominique07 · 29/09/2009 20:52

Why do so many people this is necessary? This is a 12 yr old girl. Not a woman. Surely there are years and years to learn about shaving her legs and looking sexy.

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 29/09/2009 20:52

Why shouldn't she wear make up for special occasions and have her ears pierced if she wants to dominique? I can only assume you're joking, or trying to be the lone voice of dissent?!

God forbid that a 12 year old should want to fit in with her peers, or look nice for her own sake, or anything like that? And, actually, in my case, my mother wouldn't let me wear trousers to school until I was in Year 11 either.

MiniMarmite · 29/09/2009 20:52

I don't think you are being unreasonable (i.e. I can see where you are coming from) but I wanted to shave my legs when I was 12 and my Mum said 'no'. I was teased and unhappy about it so started doing it in secret. Mum knew and never said anything much about it but I would have loved it if she had guided me more in all things like this.

bigchris · 29/09/2009 20:52

oh this sounds so familiar
my mum wouldnt let me shave mine until I was 16

but she never bothered to tell me I could use Immac instead

but she did buy me Jolen bleach for my moustache

so I used Jolen to bleach my leg hair for about 2 years

I was taunted my boys age 13 about my hairy knees

yabu

Original poster
Iwillpopthekettleon · 29/09/2009 20:53

Thank you everyone!! Love the story from Fayrazzled and the razor from FC for Christmas I think it's me not quite believing she is old enough for that stuff. She definitely doesn't have yeti legs in fact there is really not much there, but then maybe she needs to shave them regardless to feel like she's doing the same stuff. She's certainly not ostracised or bullied about stuff, so best keep it that way !!

Tomorrow I am off to have a look at the thing that fishie recommends ( thanks fishie )

Thanks all xxx.

OP posts:
aristocat · 29/09/2009 20:54

12??
Let her do it & help her of course.

PandaEis · 29/09/2009 20:54

domonique it would be impossible to always cover the legs especially as the schoolgirls have to wear shorts/gym skirt for gym so at some point the OPs DD would have to bare her legs to all. if se is embarrassed about it or is being teased about it then this is a perfectly acceptable way to solve the problem and is a natural part of growing up for many- i know i felt more grown up when i had to start shaving my legs
a

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 29/09/2009 20:56

dominique - it's not about looking sexy it's about fitting in.

nbee84 · 29/09/2009 20:58

Dominique07 - you ask why it is necessary. Have you not read all the posts on here from people who got bullied for it. It is not about looking sexy - it is about feeling comfortable with your appearance and if other kids have started commenting (even if they haven't and she just feels as if they are hairy) then she is not feeling comfortable with her appearance. As someone else mentioned - what's the difference between shaving them now than a year down the line?

RumourOfAHurricane · 29/09/2009 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BonsoirAnna · 29/09/2009 20:59

Grooming isn't about looking sexy - it is about being attractive to yourself and others.

Body hair starts become prolific at the beginning of puberty. You need to learn to remove underarm hair and to wax your bikini line in early adolescence. Why not legs?

cheekysealion · 29/09/2009 21:00

MY DD IS SAME AGE hasnt asked to do it yet but i would let her

rather get them waxed though